How to Save a Marriage or Relationship From Catastrophe...

The wedding celebration is summed up with the exchange of the “I do’s.” This is just the beginning. There are more exchanges of words expected.  However, to have a lasting relationship, respect is the key. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, respect is such a big word. It is a big factor in any relationship. It is the foundation of love and trust. Any married couple encountering difficulties in their relationships can simply go back to this fundamental. To maintain harmony, each of the spouses must manifest respect to the other. Simply be courteous, both in words and in actions. Most people associate courtesy with etiquette. That is why most people think it is very burdensome. Some people even claim that they want to be laid-back in a serious relationship, that there is no need for pretenses or formalities. However, courtesy is not all about table manners or social formalities. It is simply an active choice of doing the proper things at the proper time, like displaying gratitude when there is...

In the real world, it’s certainly not with a magic wand. But real married life doesn’t necessarily have to be dull and gray either. A bright and lasting marriage is very possible even after the honeymoon period. What is needed is the willingness to work at it and an even bigger will to keep on working when things get difficult – because as with any marriage, it definitely will. A healthy marriage is a lot like a healthy body. As your body requires proper feeding, consistent exercise and sufficient rest; so does your marriage need constant reassurance, adequate time together, and steady communication. Communication to a marriage is a lot like exercise for the body. It is what you do to make sure your relationship is in good shape. A misconception people have over communication is that it requires words and a schedule to sit down and talk. While it is true that couples need to find time to talk on a regular basis, consistent communication goes beyond simply this. Communication also i...

You may think the common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car. It is a scary thought – the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, “I think don’t want to be married to you anymore.” One may think they’re ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution. And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it. What are these “ common marriage problems ” that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality. Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categor...

There is a big project at work and you need to show your boss that you’re ready for that promotion which will help pay the mortgage. A seminar is in town for a business opportunity you’re interested in while a ton of paperwork piles up on your desk. Your child’s homeroom teacher has called again asking you for a visit. A science project needs to be done, but not before the soccer team comes over while a ton of laundry piles up in the hamper. By day end, the only thing that you want to do is clean up, get under the covers and sleep – not minding the person on the other side of the bed who’s equally tired as you are. Sounds familiar? While this may seem normal for your family, continuing like this will wear you and your relationships down, especially with your spouse. This can lead to constant bickering, which can make a house that is simply not a home. But then you may say, “I can’t help it if I’ve got a lot of work to do. As much as I want to have ‘quality time’ I just don’t have th...

Divorce is certainly an emotional time for families. In fact, it ranks as one of the most stressful experiences in life. However, it is not only the adults who experience this stress. If the adults are parents, their children often suffer greatly. Their suffering can not be entirely eliminated. A certain amount of grief at the 'death' of their parents' relationship is to be expected. Nevertheless, while the adults are going through typically arduous legal wrangling it is important for them to remember the needs of their children and put them first. Deciding to cooperate for their sake will help to protect the children's emotional well being by maintaining their sense of security and need for unconditional love. Marital breakdown is difficult for everyone - especially children. There are several ways in which loving, responsible parents can cooperate for the good of their children. Even though the marriage may have broken down, the parental relation...

Marriages are made in heaven they say, but eventually, every marriage has to come down to earth. The honeymoon "orbits" gradually decrease in passion and intensity, due to other priorities that demand our attention. More so, when the bundle of joy arrives! Loving glances are gradually replaced by frowns, the stars in your eyes do not shine so brightly anymore, and your attempts at intimate conversation is punctuated by wails from the little intruder. You discover, as almost every married couple before you have discovered, that the feeling called "romantic love" has to be nurtured by a continuous process of meeting each other's emotional needs. What is an emotional need? It is a deep desire within you that, when satisfied, gives you a feeling of extreme happiness and contentment. If this desire is unsatisfied, it leaves you with a feeling of unhappiness and frustration. It follows, therefore, that when a husband and wife meet each other's most i...

Ah...remember that honeymoon phase when you first fell in love? You may have even been in the lust and infatuation stage before you even realized you were in love. You felt giddy, smitten, and were walking on air. Your heart went pitter patter and your breath was shallow whenever you were around your honeypie. You were busy with work and responsibilities, but you would always catch up later. At this phase you wanted to spend all your waking hours with your sweetheart. But then came love, then came marriage, then came Junior in the baby carriage. Suddenly, there are bills to pay; places to go, repairs to do and you’re just tired all the time. You relent with a sigh, “so this is marriage?!” Whether you’ve been married 12 months or 12 years, it doesn’t have to mean the honeymoon is over. Think back to the effort you made initially when you were wooing your betrothed. You get what you give. If you give a humdrum effort day in and day out, that’s what you’ll get i...