Marriages are made in heaven they say, but eventually, every marriage
has to come down to earth. The honeymoon "orbits" gradually decrease in
passion and intensity, due to other priorities that demand our
attention. More so, when the bundle of joy arrives!
Loving glances are gradually replaced by frowns, the stars in your
eyes do not shine so brightly anymore, and your attempts at intimate
conversation is punctuated by wails from the little intruder. You
discover, as almost every married couple before you have discovered,
that the feeling called "romantic love" has to be nurtured by a
continuous process of meeting each other's emotional needs.
What is an emotional need? It is a deep desire within you that, when
satisfied, gives you a feeling of extreme happiness and contentment. If
this desire is unsatisfied, it leaves you with a feeling of unhappiness
and frustration. It follows, therefore, that when a husband and wife
meet each other's most important emotional needs, they will be so happy
and contented with each other that, they will experience passionate
love, and stay in love as long as these emotional needs are met.
But, each of us have different emotional needs, and even if both
spouses have the same emotional needs, their priorities for each
emotional need may be different. For instance, love and romance for most
men are sex and recreation; for most women its affection and intimate
conversation. Now, if such a husband and wife pair would spend a
recreational evening together, show intense affection, with deep,
intimate conversation, it would naturally lead to sexual fulfillment.
The result? Passionate love, since the most important emotional needs of
both are fully met!
You, and your spouse, fell in love with each other because you both
met some of each other's most important emotional needs, and the only
way to stay in love, long after the honeymoon is over, is to keep
meeting these emotional needs.
So, the first step for you, and your spouse, is to identify what are
your most important emotional needs - those that will make you the
happiest and most contented. The easiest way is to sit down, take a
sheet of paper, and jot down what you would like your spouse to do/not
do, that would give you the greatest happiness. A list, of at least five
of your most important emotional needs, in order of priority, would be
adequate for a start. When you both are ready with it, exchange the
sheets of paper.
Now, that you, and your spouse, know what you can do for each other
that, will make you both the happiest and contented married couple, it
only remains to learn how to become experts at meeting these emotional
needs. The degree of expertise you both acquire at meeting each other's
most important emotional needs will be measured by the intensity of the
fire of love and passion in your marriage.
"Garb Your Copy of "The Magic of Making Up"Click Here Now!
Comments