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Showing posts from September 22, 2013

Is Your Marriage on Auto-Pilot?

Ah...remember that honeymoon phase when you first fell in love? You may have even been in the lust and infatuation stage before you even realized you were in love. You felt giddy, smitten, and were walking on air. Your heart went pitter patter and your breath was shallow whenever you were around your honeypie. You were busy with work and responsibilities, but you would always catch up later. At this phase you wanted to spend all your waking hours with your sweetheart. But then came love, then came marriage, then came Junior in the baby carriage. Suddenly, there are bills to pay; places to go, repairs to do and you’re just tired all the time. You relent with a sigh, “so this is marriage?!” Whether you’ve been married 12 months or 12 years, it doesn’t have to mean the honeymoon is over. Think back to the effort you made initially when you were wooing your betrothed. You get what you give. If you give a humdrum effort day in and day out, that’s what you’ll get i...

How to Stir Things Up in A Marriage

Have you been married for a while now and things seem to be spiraling into a whirlwind of different schedules for all family members? Do you find little time for romance, routines daily that seem to be robotic like, schedules to keep, commitments to others that take time from the family dynamics? Do you feel you and your husband need to rekindle the bonds that brought you together in the first place? The first thing to do is consider all the distractions of daily life. With children, time commitments can be significant and can be all encompassing. There are car pools, school meetings, sports, birthday parties, homework, shopping trips, and it seems never ending sometimes. These things all help a child to develop social skills and are very important; however, so is your time alone with your spouse and you must try to find a balance. Maybe you can figure a way to lighten the burden on both of you with regards to all the children's activities by involving others, ...

When Should You Marry?

Since the divorce rate is at an all time high many are asking when and if they should marry? It is interesting that at the beginning of the 20th Century men were in their late twenties before getting married. In the early part of 1960 half of all girls in the USA were married by their twentieth birthday. Males were about two years older. The 90's saw many getting married while still in their teen years. This no doubt accounts at least in-part for the high percentage of divorces. The national statistics reveal that teenage marriages are the most unstable with the highest chance of divorce. Many of them marry out of emotional impulse and pre-marital pregnancies which lead to a higher risk of divorce. At the present time those entering into wedlock are taking longer to decide about marriage. However, some are attempting a trial habitation to see if it might work. When are you ready for marriage and how do you know if proper preparation has been taken for a successful...

Zany Marriage Laws which are Still Enforceable

Ever since the first man and woman were joined in marriage to go forth, be fruitful, and multiply -- laws became necessary to maintain order in a civilized society. Many laws were enacted at specific points in history to respond to specific needs of that particular time. A number of our current laws of marriage are deep-rooted, and have been modernized over the years to keep abreast of our ever changing society. However, there are still some on the books which have not changed with the times -- yet still enforceable. For instance, if you are prone to hastily act out of character after a few drinks, you might consider moving to Pennsylvania. Clergy in Pennsylvania can not perform a marriage ceremony if the bride or groom is drunk. An allergy suffering husband in California can have his wife jailed if she doesn't cook her dust cloth after using it. A husband in Tennessee can divorce his wife -- if he leaves her with 10 pounds of dried beans, 5 pounds of dried apples, a...

7 Tips for Fighting Fairly in Marriage

Fighting fairly is one of the most important skills you can learn in order to keep your marriage healthy and strong. While it may first seem that fighting only happens in "bad" marriages, fighting actually happens in all marriages. Researcher David Olson of the University of Minnesota estimates that 25% of marriages are happy. 50% of couples will never be happy without very good therapy. 30% of marriages are considered "empty", with little love or joy. 25% of marriages could be really happy if the couples learned better how to communicate and how to resolve conflict. It is this latter 25% that should be focused on. Learning to fight fair can be the difference between a bad fight/bad marriage and a bad fight/good marriage. You can have a bad fight but still have an overall good marriage. In fact, couples who fight productively report more marital satisfaction once the fight has ended. What separates out the couples who fight and make up from the ones...

7 Secrets of a Happy Marriage

Do you believe in falling in love? In finding that "special someone" who is your other half, your soulmate? Do you dream of finding the one person in all the world who will understand you, love you and be there for you, no matter what? If so, you're not alone. In fact, statistics show that about 90% of adults will get married at least once in their lives. As a society, we've become so conditioned to the fairy tale of "Happily Ever After" that many people actually feel as if their life is lacking something if they're not a part of a couple. But sadly, just like in the movies, most peoples' thoughts seem to stop at the part when the music swells and the happy couple says "I do" and loses themselves in that first magic kiss as husband and wife. They don't think about what happens after the honeymoon. Considering that about 43% of all marriages in the U.S. ends in divorce, perhaps a class on the realities of building a...

Can a "Piece Of Wood" Sweeten Your Marriage?

The greatest moment in the history of the people of Israel was enacted when the Lord parted the waters of the Red Sea to allow the fleeing Israelites to escape from the clutches of the oppressive Egyptian king. When the Israelites saw the awesome power of God destroy the pursuing Egyptian army, they had faith in the Lord. Then, led by Miriam's tambourine, they danced and sang praises to the Lord for the great victory he had given them. But, very soon, after walking into the desert of Shur, and finding no water, even after three days, to quench their thirst, the euphoria of the spectacular events at the Red Sea gradually wore off. Then they reached Marah, and found the water they were seeking. But, to their consternation, the water turned out to be so bitter that it was undrinkable! At this point, their pent up frustration reared its ugly head, and the Israelites reverted to their favorite pastime - of grumbling. They complained to their leader, Moses. So, this gre...