Ever since the first man and woman were joined in marriage to go forth,
be fruitful, and multiply -- laws became necessary to maintain order in a
civilized society. Many laws were enacted at specific points in history
to respond to specific needs of that particular time.
A number of our current laws of marriage are deep-rooted, and have
been modernized over the years to keep abreast of our ever changing
society. However, there are still some on the books which have not
changed with the times -- yet still enforceable.
For instance, if you are prone to hastily act out of character after
a few drinks, you might consider moving to Pennsylvania. Clergy in
Pennsylvania can not perform a marriage ceremony if the bride or groom
is drunk.
An allergy suffering husband in California can have his wife jailed
if she doesn't cook her dust cloth after using it. A husband in
Tennessee can divorce his wife -- if he leaves her with 10 pounds of
dried beans, 5 pounds of dried apples, a side of meat, and ample yarn to
knit herself stockings for a year.
Husbands in Hartford, Connecticut, you can not kiss your wife on
Sundays, but you can in Halethorpe, Maryland -- providing it lasts no
longer than one second.
It's safe to get married in Chillicothe, Missouri because they can't
throw rice at you. However, play it even safer and get married in
Colorado -- where no one can throw shoes at the bride and groom.
In Virginia, a man can curse and/or abuse his wife provided he does
it in a low voice, but she'll have to leave the house naked in Michigan
if she decides to leave him -- he owns her clothes and the law says he
can follow her into the street and remove them.
Wives, here's your chance. You can berate your husband in public in
Dixie, Idaho, but if a crowd gathers, your husband can be fined.
However, your marriage can be annulled if you entered into it on a dare
-- in Delaware.
For loving wives, it's illegal to remarry the same man four times in
Kentucky. Go to West Virginia where first cousins can marry -- unless
the bride is 55 years old.
In Lebanon, Tennessee, a husband cannot kick his wife out of bed
even if her feet are cold; however, a wife can kick her husband out of
bed without provocation. That doesn't work in Florida because even if
she does get mad -- a wife is limited to breaking no more than 3 dishes a
day.
For you wives in Owensboro, Kentucky, you can not buy a hat unless
your husband has had the opportunity to try it on himself first.
In the Balanta tribe of Africa, a law states that a bride must
remain married until her wedding gown has worn out. However, if she's
desperate to get it over with quickly, she only has to wait a month --
then rip up her wedding dress.
In France, a woman was granted a divorce after she told the judge
that her husband played the bagpipes, and made her keep time with a
flyswatter.
In Greece, if a man is caught kissing his wife or any other woman in public -- he can get the death penalty!
Finally, one unwritten law which you should enforce upon yourself --
no matter where you live: Marriage is forbidden to be entered into with
a love of your life; but with he or she whom is the life of your love
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