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Showing posts from November 26, 2017

Salve for the Pain from Breaking Up

The sting at the end of a relationship leaves many people lost and floundering. In the haze of pain, one can wonder if they will every come out the other side whole even if they have suffered heartbreaks in the past. Those in pain need a course of action where they feel progress being made dealing with what they went through and becoming a better person at the other end. Let's look at some steps for moving forward. Take Time Away Even the most resilient people require time to let the hurt of a break up subside. The initial days and weeks magnify the pain one is feeling. An important thing for everyone to do at this point is taking a step away from things and granting themselves permission to feel the pain. Like a seed planted in the ground, buried pain rises to spread its vines throughout a person's life and future relationships. A hurt person will want to be well as soon as possible. A quick resolution becomes less of a catharsis and more of a burial. Keep Busy with Oth...

Blocks to Building Trust

Trust in relationships mimic a web created with tiny strands and decisions. Knowing the right time move forward or reweave a certain section proves tricky. Couples need a solid plan establishing the foundation and building from their base. Countless people believe they know every aspect regarding trust. If this were true, few relationships would end over broken trust. With that in mind, couples must take into account more than trite ideals. Communicate Couples seeking deeper trust, even when starting out, must communicate with one another. Often this seems far too easy. When asked what they do well, both members of the pair typically say they possess a great handle on communicating. The strict law of averages will tell anyone not every person has the keen grasp on communication they believe they do. This means everyone, no matter what they believe, needs to work on their skills. * Listen: The cornerstone of trust involves taking in the information of the other person and must c...

Three Reasons Guys Are Not Committing

The classic stereotype casts the woman in the role of the relational pursuer and the man as dragging his feet. In several movies, the put upon girlfriend eternally waits for the pending proposal from the boyfriend with his list of lame excuses. The thin reasons may be pointless vows or a magical spell causing him to only speak in gibberish. These examples resonate because they feel real from both sides. The guy clings to what he views as valid reasons. The lady struggles to understand while still seeking his affection. What if there was not a lame reason? What if valid, emotional reasons existed for the guy? Would this be easier to accept? The reasons might not speak to the woman, but one cannot deny everyone has reasons for the way they behave. Most people never fully grasp what they are feeling or why they act the way they do. Once determined, the other party becomes free to evaluate the reason to assess if they wish to remain waiting for changes in the situation. Always Looki...