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Showing posts from April 18, 2010

I'm Confused: "I Love You But I'm Not IN LOVE with YOU"...‏

Did your spouse tell you, "I love you, but I'm not IN LOVE with you?" What does that statement mean? A person who says, " I love you , but I'm not IN LOVE with you," is making a distinction between 2 different feelings. But NEITHER of those feelings are love! When a person says, " I love you , but I'm not IN LOVE with you," they're saying that I CARE about you but I'm not EXCITED about you. CARING about someone is a good thing. It's reflective of CONCERN. But it's different than love. I care about the starving children in Africa, but I don't love them. Being EXCITED about someone is also a good thing. But it's different than love. I might be excited to have a relationship with the President of the United States or a Hollywood star, but that doesn't mean I love them. While someone who says, " I love you , but I'm not IN LOVE with you" seems to be making a distinction between "different l

Your one chance at a second chance‏...Is It Possible?

I'd like to share with you one of the building blocks for restoring a marriage. Everyone has a reputation. We don't get to pick, but everyone is known for something. It seems that I'm known for helping people repair broken marriages or girlfriend/boyfriend relationship issues. And in particular, you could say that my specialty is helping people "win back" their spouse who claims to have fallen out of love. If that's your situation, you'll want to listen carefully. And even if it's not, you can learn a lot about how to reconcile your marriage from what I'm about to share. When a person learns that their husband or wife doesn't love them anymore, they go crazy trying to find a fix for their problem. The same is true for couples trying to resolve differences before it's too late. Many people go online and search for THE answer. (That's probably how you found me.) But finding a solution to your marriage problems is NOT like findin

How to say I'M SORRY‏

Have you ever heard the expression, "Love is never having to say you're sorry?" Sometimes I wonder how such utterly ridiculous expressions become commonly accepted. If you're close to someone, you're going to step on their toes occasionally. And when you hurt someone, ESPECIALLY YOUR SPOUSE, it's important to say, " I'm sorry ." Not only is it important to say " I'm sorry ," but it's important to say it well. Usually the words alone are not enough. You have to get inside your spouse's heart, feel their pain, and in order for them to forgive you, they have to feel COMPLETELY understood. Otherwise, you might say, " I'm sorry ," and your spouse might say, "It's okay," but nothing will change. You could be stuck in that hurt for years. I wish for you and your spouse that you SUCCESSFULLY move through your past hurt and that " I'm sorry " restores your relationship the way those