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Showing posts from September 15, 2013

The Emotional Stages of Divorce

It's unfortunate when married couples get a divorce. It affects not only the immediate family members involved, but family and friends around them as well. Depending on how the couple deals with this can help or hurt the situation a great deal. There are various stages one may go through before or during a divorce. Reading about them here could help in realizing what is going on inside and help a person to cope with all the emotions that may come up. Disbelief, Denial and Shock You realize things have not been going well for a while, but you never thought it was this bad, to actually have to get a divorce over. Maybe you haven't even tried couples counseling yet, so you are in shock. The worst is when a spouse has had an on going affair for an extended period of time and now wants a divorce. How could they do that to you? Anger or Fear At this point you could be very angry for various reasons, as mentioned above, or you could be in fear of not knowing what wil...

When Should You Say, "I Do" ?

After two years of romancing your partner you sense it's time to “tie the knot”. You see that marriage has its benefits, as well as its downfalls, and it seems easier to resolve the differences along the way, rather than to evaluate the pitfalls ahead of time. Beyond the roses and wedding cake is the “forever” of marriage. After the wedding day has come and gone, you are left with the task of building a relationship with your partner. How will you know if you and your partner are both ready for a lifelong commitment? Here are some tips that will help you identify whether you and your partner are ready for marriage – or whether you should end the relationship and seek another. 1. How well do you communicate together? There are several levels of communication, from shallow chit-chat to deep “under the surface” communication. To understand how well your partner communicates, look for situations where he or she is under pressure, even if you have not ever had troubl...

Weekend Getaways for a Happy Marriage

Life seems to get busier and busier as time goes by and before we know it another month, season or even year has gone by and you realize that you haven't had a vacation or spent any quality time with your partner in a long, long time. While we can't control many things in life such as work or family commitments it is important to understand that everything in life requires nurturing otherwise it will slowly decline and a marriage is no different. Spending some quality time together over a weekend at home is a good thing but as there are usually regular distractions such as the phone calls, friends dropping by or neighborhood noise, it is important to get away to a couple's retreat where you don't have these distractions. Having a regular weekend getaway with your partner allows you to spend that quality time together without the day to day interruptions and distractions and allows you to reconnect with each other. Make a point of planning your weekend g...

Can 'Mixed' Marriages Work?

As society becomes culturally intertwined, it becomes more common to see marriages between individuals of different racial background. How are these marriages surviving and even flourishing? In some countries the prejudice and stigma are so great that couples who become involved romantically with an individual of another race may find the pressures of family and society become too overwhelming to resist. In other countries, a general level of tolerance leads many to consider mixed relationships, but an undercurrent of bias deters them from marriage. It is a fortunate group who find the level of acceptance in their society means that their marriage is rarely, if ever, marred by prejudicial onlookers. It is a sad fact that intolerance has become part of human nature, but individuals who have found love in a different race have fought the challenges for hundreds of years. What does that mean for their marriages? To comment on it from a purely secular viewpoint, it might ...

3 Surefire Ways To Annihilate Your Marriage Relationship

1. Fail To Listen Well. 2. Always, Always Seek To Win As An Individual. 3. Get Involved -- And Stay Involved -- In Pornography. -- 3 Surefire Ways To Annihilate Your Marriage Relationship -- Surefire Annihilator Number One: Fail To Listen Well Practice the following and you will most certainly be laying the foundation for the successful launch of a failing relationship in your marriage: Listen without heart, Talk more while listening less and less, And instruct or point out failures more than you compliment, build up or affirm. Surefire Annihilator Number Two: Always, Always Seek To Win As An Individual Instead Seeking To Win As A Couple Practice the following well and you will most certainly lay a solid foundation for destroying intimacy, disheartening your spouse, and establishing a negative distance between both of you: 1. Make winning as an individual the unspoken -- or worse, spoken -- goal of the majority of conversations with your spouse. 2. Make every e...

How to Re-spark a Marriage

If you are hitting a lull in your love life, maybe this article will do you some good. Do not panic. Do not rush and get a divorce. A lot of people feel the same way you do. When you were first married you were chasing goals: *Find a mate.Check. *Pursue mate until he or she gives in and goes on date. Check. *Try to impress them and get them into the bedroom. Check. *Propose. Check. *Marriage.Check. Death do us part. Huh? This is much harder than most people expect! So, how do you re-spark a marriage? The thrill of the chase and having someone to grow old with sounds sweet until you actually find yourself growing old. Then their idiosyncrasies start to eat at you. He cannot even dress himself. She can't seem to cope with day to day dramas without getting emotional. Over time these small things can eat at you until you feel as if you are only married because the other person depends on you completely. But was it always like that? Was he always hopeless, or she h...

Is Marriage a Contract or a Covenant?

Is marriage a contract or a covenant? So many times we hear marriage referred to as a contract. Sometimes it’s even called “just a piece of paper”. One dictionary definition of a contract is, “A binding agreement between two or more persons that is enforceable by law.” A contract, by definition, is a give/get relationship between two or more parties. You agree to do something and in return you get something for your efforts. A builder signs a contract stating that he or she will build you a house and in return you agree to pay them a pre-determined amount of money. If the house is not built or the money isn’t paid, then it’s off to court. Many great things have been accomplished through the use of contracts. A contract essentially attempts to keep honest people honest and dishonest people to a minimum. A contract can be an extensive five-hundred page document, researched and compiled by top-paid lawyers over a grueling amount of time, listing multiple “what-if..” scena...