It's unfortunate when married couples get a divorce. It affects not only
the immediate family members involved, but family and friends around
them as well. Depending on how the couple deals with this can help or
hurt the situation a great deal. There are various stages one may go
through before or during a divorce. Reading about them here could help
in realizing what is going on inside and help a person to cope with all
the emotions that may come up.
Disbelief, Denial and Shock
You realize things have not been going well for a while, but you
never thought it was this bad, to actually have to get a divorce over.
Maybe you haven't even tried couples counseling yet, so you are in
shock. The worst is when a spouse has had an on going affair for an
extended period of time and now wants a divorce. How could they do that
to you?
Anger or Fear
At this point you could be very angry for various reasons, as
mentioned above, or you could be in fear of not knowing what will happen
in the future. If you have anger issues, be mindful of them and try not
to do anything you may regret later.
Emotions and Depression
Now you are getting very emotional and wondering where it all
started to go wrong. You may try to think about things that happened in
the past and where you could have done something different or said
something else. You may start to realize it is a lost cause and start to
feel depressed.
Begging and Bargaining
You may be asking your spouse if there is any way the two of you can
fix this. You may even be begging to try couples counseling or asking
if there is something you can do to save the marriage.
Release and Letting Go
Now you are slowly releasing the anger and resentment you may have
felt and starting to let go of all those negative emotions. You realize
both parties play some role when a marriage ends in divorce.
Acceptance and Moving On
You now accept the inevitable and are able to look to the future and
start to make plans. You realize life must go on, even if it isn't the
way you planned it.
Hopefully you will have a friend or family member that will help you
both while you go through these stages, so that you can deal with them
in a mature manner and have an amicable divorce.
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