You may think the
common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car.
It is a scary thought – the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, “I think don’t want to be married to you anymore.”
One may think they’re ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution.
And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it.
What are these “
common marriage problems” that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality.
Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categories but the marriages that survive do so because they addressed the problem properly and looked for a solution – together.
So just how do you actually do that? It is both simple and complex.
It is simple because it just requires you to admit to yourself and to your spouse that you have a problem. On the other hand, it is complex because both of you may not agree on what exactly the problem is and the solution for it.
For both of you to reach an agreement, you must be able to both listen and articulate. Listen first to what your spouse thinks is the problem that’s driving you apart.
After he/she has said her part, then carefully tell her what’s on your mind. This act of listening and communicating then brings to both your attentions the problems with your relationship and the causes for it.
However, the both of you need to take the next step by finding a solution to the problem. This is the tricky part for it will undoubtedly require adjustment from both sides. However, simply making the necessary adjustments alone will not address the problem.
You need to find the reason why you are making these sacrifices. And that reason should be because you love your spouse and want to build on the relationship making it stronger with time.
Whether it is a problem with spending, or with who gets to hold the remote control,
marriage problems can be weathered when faced together and worked on together. In time, an open toothpaste tube, or another fender bender won’t have an effect at all on the relationship.
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