It's said that marriage is very easy yet remaining married isn't. Maintaining a happy marital relationship takes work on both sides, and something men in some cases complain about is that they are not getting adequate space. The specifics of what "area" means are different for each and every couple. Try not to take it personally if your husband desires some separation, whether physical or mental. Hopefully he'll return the favor when you need room.
Stay where you are. Don't chase him if he leaves-- this could cause him to run even much faster, accordance with Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., writer of "Marriage Rules: A Handbook for the Married and Coupled Up," in the "Good House cleaning" post "How to Reconnect With Your Spouse." Obviously, you can not wait for him forever, but you could let him understand that you will sit tight in the meantime and wait for him to return as well as talk things out.
Dial back a bit. Soften your tone, take a deep breath and also try not to over-step your bounds. This may imply only texting him when necessary, letting him make mistakes instead of giving suggestions, as well as not grilling him about every detail of his day.
Create a physical area for him. Let's face it: For the most parts, the residence is the wife's territory, and your husband may really feel that he has no place to go for a breather. Make a "man cave" for him in the extra bed room, garage or basement that is his alone. This small gesture will make him feel good and love you even more for thinking about his needs' Like I said before, don't take it personally (it's a man type of thing)!
Motivate him to making new friends and go out for "guys' night." It's possible that your husband needs for space is actually a need for some male friendship.
Concentrate on yourself. As opposed to obsessing over where your husband is as well as just what he is doing, concentrate on your needs and what you can do to take care of yourself and to feel better. This may consist of beginning a regular workout program or taking up a new hobby.
Suggest therapy. Don't do this too quickly-- give him his space for about 3 months first. If things don't improve, think about seeing a marital relationship therapist either one by one or together. His needs for space may be indicative of greater issues in your marital relationship.
Resources:
Comments