Is this you; I found out my husband has had numerous affairs throughout our marriage. But when I confronted him and told him what I knew, he claims they meant nothing and that most men do it. He said it was just something that just happen and he never wanted to hurt me, I'll never do it again -- he treats me like a queen, but I'm worried that he will continue to
cheat on me.
Doesn't the above paragraph sounds familiar to you? It's the same script women have when they've been cheated on.
In my opinion, I would call any man rather it be your boyfriend or husband behavior -- high risk, especially with all the sexually transmitted diseases going around. If he believes that (most men do it too), he may get caught up in this learned male-behavior pattern.
Men escape serious social consequences in repeated affairs because 'Boys-Will-Be-Boys' attitude still prevails. Sex adventure sometimes becomes a sport for men, which is why it's often called scoring. Your husband's multiple affairs confirm that sex was the goal, rather than intimacy, romance or commitment. Some experts in the field of sex therapy and marriage counseling, believe that men cheat out of curiously, a need for variety, sexual frustration, boredom and the need for acceptance and recognition.
Women must recognize that her mate is part boy, part adolescent and part man. The boy needs caring, the adolescent sex and the man approval -- a man's masculinity is confirmed through sex. You both my need to consider marriage counseling to find out the motivation behind his cheating.
His maturity will come when he discovers what drives him to these sexual conquests. But, remember you are not the cause of his
infidelity, and you should not be the victim of it either. Tell him that he can protect the interest of his relationship/marriage with professional counseling. Also, you need to express your hurt to him, but in a constructive manner -- but before you seek out therapy, go out for walks, for drives, to your favorite restaurants, places where you were happiest, to begin talking about these painful events. Listen to each other without interruptions, don't judge each other and allow yourselves to ventilate pent-up feelings. Love is powerful, but it requires work and sacrifice, respect each other... And don't let friends or family give their opinion about whats good for you or what they would do -- this is your relationship (be in control of it).
"Infidelity - Is Like Quicksand...You Must Step Cautiously"
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