When Things Go Sour

No one can tell you what to do with your life except an expert. They have the answer to your deepest questions because they understand you and know more about things than you thought. TW Jackson, the genius behind the eBook, has helped people who want to make their relationships work.

He gives solutions to couples who are about to go downhill and end things. Even if you think that it is hopeless, there's always a way to fix things. The book shows you exactly what to do and say to win your significant other back. You’ll see that there are still endless possibilities out there for everyone.

Things change, even in relationships. It can be sweet some of the times, and can be sour on rainy days. If you’re both mature about it, you are able to cope.

Unfortunately, people work in different ways. Not everyone will respond to changes positively. You may actually be the only one trying to do something at all and you wouldn't want to see yourself in this sorry situation. You only make things worse if you try to insist upon things.

You will find your partner growing further away from you. He’ll lie and hurt you even further just to push you away. If you just turn back the clock and go back to when mistakes haven't been made, then maybe you can salvage the relationship.

What you need is an objective eye to see what's really wrong and to tell you what to do. Purchase this eBook if you need help because it really is able to get you through tough times and bring the love back.

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Discover The Difference Between Marriage, Dating And Fun Dating

Marriage dating is serious business. The people involved are looking for Mr. and Mrs. Right and are on a quest to tie the knot. Have you ever been on dates like that? It can be more like a stressful job interview than a really fun date.

When someone asks you out, you can tell if they’re looking for something long term like marriage, dating to find someone to spend intimate time with, or just dating for fun. The ones that are dating for fun are by far the ones you’ll have a better time with. The ones dating just to sleep with a person can turn out to be users you shouldn’t waste your time with. And the ones looking for marriage put too much pressure on a few simple dates.

If you’re the one looking for marriage, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married, of course. But it’s not something you should have in front of your mind when you go on a date. If you ask someone out based on whether or not you might marry them, you’ll probably be disappointed.  And if you only say yes to those who seem like marriage material, you might be missing out on someone really great.

So are we telling you to lower your standards?  If your end goal is marriage, dating can become a boring chore that’s more like screening applicants than the fun time it should be. And few things will put off the person who asked you out more than appearing desperate for a husband or wife when all they want to do is have some fun.

If you are ready for marriage, dating widely can be helpful, though. Don’t limit yourself to just the best looking person or the one you think might make a good mate. If there’s someone you think you’d have a good time with, ask for a date. Even if that person doesn’t seem to be someone you might want to marry.

In the early stages of dating, you don’t know the person well enough to judge what kind of mate they’d make.  Sometimes you don’t even really know this right before you marry someone! So stop pre-judging people and eliminating possibilities too early.  All you’re doing is narrowing down your choices for a fun date on Friday night.

If you open your eyes a little and ask (or say yes to) that person who you’ve overlooked all this time for whatever reason, you might be pleasantly surprised. So what if that person doesn’t seem to be marriage material! You don’t really know them well enough to make those kinds of judgments. Put aside thoughts of marriage for now and let yourself relax and have a good time.

This is not to say you can’t find your soul mate by dating; you can. Many people actually do it that way, especially when they’re not really trying. But if you’re too focused on marriage, dating is no longer the fun, social activity it should be.

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Whats Up With Relationship Coaches?

A relationship coach is an expert who literally becomes a part of your relationship for a short time and during that time they evaluate your relationship, act as a visionary in helping you to realize the potential of your relationship and offer tips and guidelines for achieving this potential.  A relationship coach often has extensive education in human development or communication and they utilize their educational background to help to enhance your relationship.  Relationship coaches are tasked with instilling the skills necessary to produce a more fulfilling relationship and they often do this through listening to your understanding of the problem, observing the couple in action and creating a customized plan of action for the couple.  This article will outline the basic functions of a relationship coach and how they can be beneficial in a relationship. 

The first step that a relationship coach will often take is to listen to a couple's complaints about the relationship.  While the couple may not be seeing the full problem, their understanding of the existing issues is often a good starting point for a relationship coach to begin her evaluation.  It is important that in your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you bring up all of the problems you see with the relationship. 

While you and your partner may have already discussed these issues at length, your relationship coach needs to hear these issues so that she can be sure to make an effort to observe these issues in the next stage of the process.  Being open and honest with your relationship coach about your perception of the problem is crucial to receiving a benefit from the use of a relationship coach.  Trying to hide certain issues or neglecting to mention them does not give the relationship coach an accurate representation of your relationship.  Furthermore it can be detrimental because if you neglect to mention a particular issue your relationship coach may be inclined to believe that you are satisfied with this aspect of your relationship and may not work to make improvements in this area.  In your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you will have the opportunity to offer your take on the relationship and let the coach know what you think is working and what needs improvement. 

After the initial consultation a relationship coach will often take some time to evaluate the couple’s relationship through observation.  They may come into the couple's lives on a daily basis and ask them to act normally while they observe the way that the couple interacts.  This step is very important because it gives the relationship coach a chance to determine whether or not the couple's self assessment of their relationship is accurate.  The couple may have their own beliefs about why an aspect of their relationship is dysfunctional but through careful observation the relationship coach may determine that the source of the problem is very different from the couple’s perception.  While a relationship coach may be able to determine the problems in a couple’s relationship through observation, this is only possibly if the couple makes an honest effort to act naturally during this observation period.  If the couple tries to fix their own problems during this phase and does not act naturally it will be difficult for the relationship coach to form a valid opinion about the way the couple interacts. 

Once a relationship coach has had the opportunity to meet with the couple and spend some time observing their interactions they will be able to design a customized plan of action for enhancing the relationship and working to improve troubled areas.  The relationship coach will often offer exercises for the couple that will help them to see what they are doing wrong in the relationship and how these discrepancies can be fixed.  These exercises may involve either role playing activities that address everyday situations the couple faces or tips for communicating in stressful situations when they arise.  These exercises may also offer ways for the couple to learn to communicate in new ways for all situations not just those that place stress on the relationship.  While the exercises prescribed by the relationship coach may sound either too complicated or too simplistic, it is important to remember that these exercises won’t help your relationship unless you are willing to give them a try. 

Finally it is important to realize when relationship coaching will be effective in a relationship.  The general rule of thumb is that if you are considering enlisting the help of a relationship coach, then they will most likely be able to help your relationship.  The simple fact that you are considering a relationship coach demonstrates that you have faith in your relationship and are willing to work to improve the relationship.  If you have never heard of relationship coaches and a friend or relative suggests one and your attitude is that they won’t be able to help you that that is an indication that you have already given up on the relationship and in this scenario a relationship coach will most likely not be able to help your relationship.  The use of a relationship coach is most effective when at least one but preferably both of the partners are committed to doing whatever it takes to salvage the relationship. 

Relationship coaches may not be for everyone or every relationship but they can be critical in enhancing a relationship in some situations.  It is important to realize that relationship coaches can not solve all of your problems but they can offer you solutions for some problems and exercises for working on these problems.  If you are willing to put an honest effort into solving some of the problems in your relationship then you may greatly benefit from the advice of a relationship coach.

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How to Flirt Effectively

Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.

When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.

Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.

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How to Demand Respect AND Get It

Respect, as it applies to people, is defined as a feeling of esteem for a person.  This feeling is generally a result of a person’s achievements.  While all people deserve respect, it is an unfortunate fact that many people do not receive the respect that they deserve.  There are several ways however that you can put yourself in a situation where you will begin to receive the respect that you deserve.  In general the keys to demanding respect and getting it are treating others with respect, treating yourself with respect, conveying a sense of confidence, not being afraid to make decisions and dressing appropriately.  These key factors will help you to gain the respect you deserve. 

If you expect others to treat you with respect, one of the first steps you must take is to begin treating others with respect if you aren’t already doing so.  If you have a disrespectful attitude towards others it will be difficult for them to feel respectful towards you.  Treating others with respect demonstrates that you are worthy of respect yourself because it shows that you are capable of holding others in esteem.  If you do not give others their due respect, many people will see you as a person who is not compassionate of others and not willing to understand the value of others.  Many bosses will try to demand respect by being authoritative with their subordinates.  While authority is a characteristic that commands respect, this is often taken too far and if the boss does not recognize the employees achievements the employee will most likely be resentful of the boss and not feel respectful towards him.  On the other hand a boss that maintains an authoritative air while also being supportive of his employees and willing to listen to their ideas will gain the respect of his employees. 

Treating yourself with respect is another key element to receiving respect from others.  Self respect is seeing yourself for your innate worth and acting accordingly by treating yourself with esteem.  It’s important to treat others with respect but by the same token you must also treat yourself with respect.  While self-deprecating humor may be your way of coping with your perceived inadequacies this type of behavior demonstrates to other that you do not feel you are truly worthy of their respect.  In order to gain the respect of others you must first treat yourself with respect. 

Confidence also inspires a sense of respect.  Being confident, without being arrogant, is a sign that you know your abilities and past performances are worthy of respect.  Knowing that you are a highly capable person and not being afraid to let others know this is another way to demand respect and get it.  Exercise caution with using confidence to command respect though.  Over confidence may have the reverse effect and result in you not receiving respect.  Knowing your abilities and being confident in yourself will go a long way in ensuring that you earn the respect of those around you. 

Decision making is another aspect that could be a determining factor in whether or not those around you respect you.  This goes along with confidence in that if you are sure of yourself you will not hesitate to make the right decisions in any situation.  An ability to make decisions without wavering or being unsure of yourself will inspire confidence in those around you.  While it’s important to seek advice and counsel from others, if you are in charge of a situation the decision is ultimately yours to make.  If you make valid decisions without showing signs of doubt you will be respected for your ability to take a stand and act on what you believe is right. 

Dressing the part is also very important in earning the respect of others.  While casual clothing may be acceptable in many work places you will find that those who are in a position of authority and command respect often dress less casually than those who are not well respected.  While your clothes are not an accurate indication of your abilities others around you may jump to conclusions based on your appearance.  While this is a sad fact of life, it’s important to acknowledge that this does exist in society and take care to always convey a professional appearance.  Doing so will help you to earn the respect of your friends and colleagues as well as your employer. 

Perhaps the most important factor to understand about respect is that, in most cases, it is not given automatically by others but that it must be earned.  You can earn the respect you deserve by treating yourself and others with respect, being confident and unafraid to make important decisions and dressing in a way that shows that you have respect for yourself.  All of these aspects will help to ensure that you are not only demanding respect but also getting it.

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How to Fight Fairly

In any relationship worth having conflict is bound to arise.  The true test of the relationship is whether or not you feel that it is worthwhile to resolve these conflicts and if you are able to do so in a fair and objective way.  Key elements to fighting fairly include sticking to the issue at hand, being open to listening to the other person, not involving others in the fight, not bringing up old issues and finally being willing to accept responsibility and let it go when the fight is over. 

It’s important to know what you are fighting over and to stick to that issue in the argument.  If you allow things to build up over time and then explode with many grievances at once neither you nor the person you are fighting with will have a clear understanding of what the issue is or why you are fighting.  It is important to address each issue as they arise to alleviate resentment and fighting that does not have a clear focus.  Sticking to one specific issue in a fight is the fair way to fight and it’s also the most successful way to fight.  If both parties involved have a clear understanding of why they are fighting you are much more likely to reach a mutually amicable resolution. 

Listening is a very important component of fighting fairly.  It is imperative to allow the other person to offer their side of the argument.  Fighting without listening will not be effective because it does not allow you to be open to the other person’s opinions and justifications.  The other person may have a very valid reason for their actions but if you are only interested in what you have to say and are unwilling to listen you will not hear their point of view.  Another aspect of listening is to really understand what the other person is saying.  It’s very easy to not hear the intent of a person’s message.  In a fight you want to actively clarify the other person’s statements and give them the opportunity to affirm or negate your interpretation of their argument.  Listening attentively and understanding the other person’s argument is a very effective and fair way to fight. 

Bringing others into a fight is not a fair way to fight.  It is important that the fight take place between those directly involved and that neither party elicits the help of friends or family members to validate their position.  It doesn’t matter how many other people agree with you, that does not necessarily make you right, so don’t involve others in your fight.  This is not only not fair to your partner but it is also not fair to those who are dragged into the argument.  While you may have many people who agree with you and believe you are right, bringing them into the fight just isn’t fair and also isn’t effective. 

In a fair fight it is also important to not bring up old issues.  A fair fight will remain focused and bringing up the past distracts from the current issues and also sends the message that the past has not been forgotten.  If you partner feels that you are bringing up old issues, he may begin to feel as if the current fight is not worth fighting because it will not be forgotten.  If you convey the message that you are not willing to forgive and forget you are not fighting fairly because your partner will feel as though the argument is no longer worthwhile.  Also, bringing up old issues is not fair because they are not relevant to the current fight.  A fair fight is clearly focused on a current conflict without dredging up old issues. 

Another key tactic for fighting fairly is to be willing to accept responsibilities for your own actions and be willing to reach a resolution and move on from the argument.  Those who fight fairly are prepared to concede the fact that they may lose the argument.  Losing the argument means either that you admit that you were solely to blame in the situation or that you are unable to convince the other person of your argument.  What is important in a fair fight is not who is right or who is wrong but that the couple is able to reach an amicable agreement and that they are both able to progress and leave the fight in the past. 

Fighting fairly is crucial in a healthy relationship.  Disagreements are natural and resolving them in a fair way is imperative to a thriving relationship.  Not fighting fairly is indicative of a relationship that is not healthy.  A fair fight however incorporates the key elements of focus, listening and resolution without involving third parties in the fight.  A fair fight is also left in the past after resolution.  Fair fighting leads to resolution in most cases.

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Don't Just Say You're SORRY – Prove It!!!

The words, "I'm sorry" can get us out of trouble when we've done something wrong or hurt someone we care about but the key to a good apology is really meaning it and convincing the other person that you are truly remorseful.  Apologizing just for the sake of keeping the peace is not an effective way to apologize.  In doing so the recipient of the apology will most likely see through you and realize that your apology is insincere.  A sincere and well timed apology, however, will help to mend the relationship that was harmed by your words or actions. 

The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not repeated.  Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the same mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere.  On the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an action you will take careful steps not to repeat this action.  Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not to repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry. 

Being specific regarding the reason for your apology also really proves that you are sorry.  Many people are quick to offer an apology when they realize someone is upset with them but often they don’t take the time to figure out why the other person is upset.  Apologizing without stating the reason for the apology shows that you don’t understand the problem and that you aren’t sincere in your apology.  This is not an effective way to make an apology.  However, if you offer a specific reason for your apology you are proving that you understand what you did to hurt the other person and that do not want to repeat that action. 

Another way to prove that your apology is authentic is to be sure to offer the apology in person.  Having a third party speak to the person you have offended or apologizing via email or voice mail conveys a lack of caring.  This kind of apology shows that you aren't truly sorry for your actions.  Meeting with the person face to face to have a sincere conversation and offer your apology is one way to really prove that you are sorry.  It shows that you care enough about the other person to meet with them directly to try to make amends for your contributions to the disagreement. 

In apologizing, if you want to prove that you really mean it, be careful not to place blame on the person you are apologizing to.  Your apology is about telling the other person why you believe that you did something wrong.  While they may have contributed to the situation, now is not the time to point out their faults.  Instead take full responsibility for what you have done wrong.  Accepting full responsibility for your actions and apologizing for them without placing blame on the other person will prove that your apology is sincere. 

A genuine apology will also include telling the other person why your actions were wrong and how you intend to avoid hurting them in the future.  Doing this proves to them not only that you understand you were wrong but that you understand why you were wrong.  It also lets them know that you have already formulated a plan of action to ensure that this situation does not arise in the future. 

The timing of your apology can also help to prove that you really are sorry.  Waiting too long to apologize may show that you don't really care and that you are simply apologizing as an afterthought.  An apology that is made too early may risk being ignored because the recipient of the apology is still too upset to listen to what you are saying. 

It's important to give the other person a chance to vent their anger and calm down before rushing to apologize.  After a reasonable amount of time approach them and let them know that you understand their anger and believe that it is justified and that you wanted to give them a chance to calm down before apologizing. 

Sometimes it is not enough to simply apologize for your words or actions.  It is often necessary to not only apologize but to also prove that your apology is sincere.  A truly sincere apology proves that you are sorry by addressing the issue and acknowledging what you have done wrong while validating the other person’s right to be angry and addressing how you will avoid similar actions in the future.

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Don't Judge a Woman by Her Looks!

I know this tip may sound very cliche, but it's true. At some point or another we're all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it's not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don't necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.

Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.

Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider bo-tox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.

Let me give you a live example of having looks at the top of your list of qualities, a woman must have. My son's first wife was a beautiful young woman on the outside, but lacked certain traits on the inside that my son was looking for. Within a few short months the lack of these traits began to have an impact on their marriage. And the longer the marriage went on the harder the marriage came for both of them. Unfortunately within less than two years they divorced. Thank goodness there were no children involved.

Two years later my son married a woman who had a more normal physical appearance. However, she had an overabundance of "beautiful traits" on the inside. It quickly became apparent in their marriage that they were very compatible and were happy together.

I'm not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It's a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what's inside before you discount women based on what's outside.

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Avoiding Scams in search of love

The Internet can be a place where you find true love. But if you create a profile on a dating site, it is very important for you to keep your eyes open. You risk being tied to a subscription that you may find it hard to get out of again.

Read The Sites Terms of Use

It is important that you read the dating site's terms carefully before you create a subscription.

Examine among other things, how long you lock yourself into that particular dating service. You should be certain to Double Check for a cancellation clause. Some of the places you can find the cancellation clause may be varied and difficult to see.

It could be buried in the "Terms of Use" page, it could be hidden under the purchase button in a very light shade of grey or even in the confirmation e-Mail you receive. However you should find that the vast majority of legitimate on line dating sites will make this information very easy to find.

Warning:

If you can not find clear and adequate information on the time period, the price and the cancellation notice period, be careful not to join the site.

Check others' experiences with the site

It's also a good idea to check online whether other users have good or bad experiences with the site.
Consumer advocates, various State and country agencies, including State and Country Attorney Generals, have received complaints from consumers who have reported that after creating a free profile, on a dating site, they must upgrade to a paid membership to read messages from other users. In many cases these messages are auto-generated and or tailored to match what the consumer was looking for when meeting another member.

However, by reading the auto-generated messages, on the site, while thinking it was free, the consumer was automatically upgraded to a paying membership or was told to upgrade to read the messages. And when they did they were locked into a long term membership.

Once this was done, they found it extremely difficult to get out of the subscription when trying to cancel and get their money back. There have also been examples of the profile suddenly appearing on multiple sites because the owner of the site for marketing purposes has several sites with different names.

Cancellation and Refunds

Depending on the dating site, you basically have from 14 to 30 days to cancel, when you subscribe on the web or your mobile phone. In other words you can cancel the service anytime during the time period. However, as stated above you may find your self being charged for a full month, if you read the site's messages to you. So be careful! read the entire "terms of use" and know what it is going on

Create a free profile on a dating site, you may find that you need to upgrade to a paid membership to read messages from other users, and it also means that you waive the opportunity to withdraw from the contract. Always read the terms carefully before you upgrade your membership.

Rights to images

Please also note that if you give the rights to the images/pictures you upload to your profile, you may run the risk of giving, that dating site, to use the images in their marketing.

Avoiding scams in search of love isn't difficult. You just need to make sure you read the terms of use and know what you are signing up for and the permissions you are giving to the dating site.

Why Am I Still In Love; My Ex May Not Love Me

Falling in love is a funny thing. Sometimes it seems to happen in an instant, other times it takes longer, and other times you don't even realize just how much in love you were until after you have both gone your separate ways. If the last one sounds familiar then you may be asking, "why am I still in love with my ex?" There isn't an easy answer to that question, but let's take a look at some things you should consider.

A good first step is to change the question you are asking yourself. Instead of asking why you are still in love with your ex, ask yourself if you are really in love with them or not. What may be happening is that you are missing the relationship itself, and not the person you were with. There is something comforting about being in a routine. Once that routine comes to an end it causes a lot of stress. That stress isn't what causes the feelings of affection, but stress makes it easy to incorrectly identify what your real feelings are. So, take the time to figure out what you're really feeling before making any assumptions.

Assuming you have determined that you do, indeed, still love your ex then you should know that you are not alone. As mentioned earlier, falling in love is a funny thing. It is very rare that both people in a relationship fall in love with each other at the exact same time; one or the other will feel love first. The same is true of falling out of love. While your ex may have fallen out of love with you, you still have strong feelings for them.

At this point you have two options. You can either hope that your ex will fall back in love with you, or you can try to stop loving your ex. Only you know which one is the best solution for you and your situation. Be careful here! Your first reaction will be to answer quickly, but that's a mistake. Take the time to reflect on the answer. Consider your motivations behind the answer. Do your best to be honest with yourself and what's really going on.

If you finally decide it will be best to try to patch things up and have your ex fall in love with you again, then you need to be prepared to take the needed steps to make that happen. Remember, your ex will change their feelings at a different pace than you will. This means you need to give them the time they need to give the relationship another chance.

On the other hand, if you decide it's best to move on and let your feelings fade for your ex, then you need to start doing so as soon as you can. The quicker you can get over these feelings and move on, the better. That way, the next time you find that you're asking yourself, "why am I still in love with my ex?", you can answer by saying, "I'm not. I have moved on to a brighter and better future!"

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Ending a Relationship is Never Easy

Ending a relationship can be really difficult and you don't want it to be any more upsetting than necessary.  If you are considering ending a relationship you might be contemplating the best way to do it, but is there really a right way?

Ideally it would be good to end a relationship on good terms and without too much drama and pain.  Unfortunately the ideal ending to a relationship doesn't happen very often, but instead relationships often end in a bad way leaving behind feelings of anger and sadness.  When the break up is drawn out and messy it can leave both parties furious at each other and very bitter.

If you know in your heart that your relationship is over and are just trying to find the right way to end it, then keep in mind that this person is one that you have loved and has shared a big part of your life.  Find the right time to talk to your partner openly and honestly and let them know exactly how you feel.  Let her know your true feelings but don't go blaming her for anything, as soon as you start the blame game that is when it can turn nasty.

If the breakup comes as a shock to your ex then she will have a thousand questions running through her mind, so the more that you can explain to her the better.  By explaining your feelings and your decision to your partner then it will also help you to know in your own mind that you are making the right decision.  If you have been in the relationship for a long time then you really do want to take the time to break it to her gently and not just walk out leaving her wondering what happened.

You never know if you sit down and talk about how you are feeling you might even come up with another solution rather than just ending the relationship completely.  Perhaps you can spend some time apart to think things through and evaluate your situation before making a final decision one way or the other.

Or course this advice above is based on a relationship that has been reasonably happy.  For example, things will be a bit different if you are ending a relationship because your partner is abusive.  If you make the decision to end a relationship that is abusive then it is usually best that you leave the relationship as soon as you can.  Some relationships can be so abusive that a person is too scared to leave for fear that their partner will find them, so you will need to plan your departure carefully and you may need to seek help.

Even if you are the person ending the relationship, you can still feel sadness and loneliness when it is over.  Just remember, that when one door closes another door opens and although the end of a relationship is a sad time, you are now beginning the rest of your life, so enjoy every minute of it.

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Advice on How to Effortlessly Save Your Relationship

Relationships always start off happy and full of excitement and there is no better feeling than that ‘new relationship’ feeling.  Your first fight is terrible because it recognizes a sign of maturity in a relationship and that new feeling is fading.  Then if you start to feel that your relationship is in trouble; that can just be absolutely devastating.

As soon as you start seeing some signs of trouble in your relationship you can start to panic and might even start acting and thinking irrationally – which really doesn’t help the situation one bit.  How you act now can make or break your relationship so if you really want to save this amazing relationship then the following tips might be useful to you.

What is the Problem in the Relationship?

The first step to saving a relationship is to identify the cause of the problems that you are having.  All relationships will have some problems but some problems are worse than others and these problems are the ones that can break a relationship if they aren’t resolved.  Even the small issues are worth working at getting resolved as even though they are small, they can build up over time and become the cause of a failed relationship.  So to save your relationship and your love for your partner, it is important to identify any problems and work through them together.

Talk to Your Partner about the Problem.
A relationship is a two person journey and you can’t solve all problems on your own.  So if there is a problem in your relationship you will need to sit down with your partner and discuss it, don’t just try to resolve the issue yourself.  By talking about any problems that you have then you can both work toward solving the problem and saving your relationship.

Do You and Your Partner Still Love Each Other?

A relationship won’t work without love to hold it together and sometimes people just fall out of love.  Love is a very powerful tool and if you both still love each other then you should be able to use that tool to save your relationship.  If your love for each other has died off then it may be time to say goodbye, but if there is still a glimmer of love then your relationship has hope.

It is possible to save a relationship that has problems if you can keep the above tips in mind.  Love is a two way street and you both need to feel love toward each other and be committed to saving your relationship.  If your partner doesn’t want to be in the relationship at all then you can’t force him to stay, but if he does still love you then there will always be hope.  Stay calm, look at the problems rationally and work them out together.

"Magic of Making Up" Click here

Do You Know If Your Relationship Is On the Rocks?

No-one wants a relationship to end and if it does it can sometimes come as a big shock, leaving you feeling confused and not sure why it happened.  A break up can leave you feeling betrayed, rejected and can really put a dent in your self-confidence.

After a break up you will often find yourself wondering why it happened and what you could have done to save the relationship.  You will begin to ask yourself what you did wrong and what you could have done differently.  All those ‘what if’ questions will start running through your mind.

Some relationships, even after a break up, can manage to repair the damage and get back on track.  But it really is much easier to save a relationship if you can prevent it from reaching break up stage.  As soon as you see any signs of trouble in a relationship you need to act fast to resolve it.

You can only take steps to resolve any issues if you are aware that there are issues.  If you can recognize the warning signs of a relationship in trouble then you have a good chance of repairing it and preventing a break up from happening.  It really is essential to know what signs to look for so you can save your relationship before it’s too late.

Let’s take a look at some of the common warning signs of a break up.

Is your partner avoiding you?  If your relationship has reached the stage when your partner seems to be spending more time with his mates than he does with you then this can be a warning sign that trouble is pending.  Is your partner avoiding your phone calls?  Is your partner avoiding spending any romantic time with you?  Has he increased his night out with the boys from once a week to three or four times a week?  A yes answer to these questions is a strong warning sign that your relationship is in strife.

Has communication between you and your partner become uncomfortable or non-existent?  A happy relationship needs to have good communication so if it seems that you are having trouble communicating with your partner then there might be something to worry about.  Lack of communication goes hand in hand with the avoidance issue – if you’re partner is heading off to bed early rather than sit and watch a movie with you, then he is avoiding you and avoiding communication.

Do you seem to be arguing more than normal?    All relationships have some problems and there will be arguments from time to time; that is completely normal.  No two people can agree 100% about absolutely everything; it is just human nature to disagree about some issues.  The problem comes when there seems to be more and more arguing and less and less normal conversation.  There is also the severity of the arguments and whether they have changed from general arguing to very hostile arguing.  Your relationship may be in trouble if you find that arguments have become a regular occurrence and your partner seems to be picking fights quite a lot.  Sometimes prior to a breakup a person may pick fights because it helps them to justify their intentions when they do finally make the break and end the relationship.

Avoidance, lack of communication and a lot of arguing are three big warning signs that your relationship is in trouble.  If you are aware of these signs and notice them soon enough then you can work toward resolving any problems and saving your relationship.

"Magic of Making Up" Click here

3 Top Reasons Men Dump Women

It is such a sad moment when a relationship ends and when a woman is dumped she will feel sad, angry and rejected.  It is a very discouraging time in a woman's life to be dumped by the person she so deeply loves.  Being dumped will leave behind a feeling of pain and confusion, especially if it was unexpected.

At one time it seemed that it was always the woman that dumped the man, but I think the tables have turned and now men are doing their fair share of the dumping.  The problem with when a man dumps a woman is that he is not as sympathetic and not so good at explaining why the relationship is over.  Often a woman is left shocked and wondering what went wrong and really has no idea of the motive to his decision.

So why do men dump women?  Here are the top three reasons why they, men, end relationships.

1. Communication – or lack of it!
The key to any successful relationship is good communication and if a couple are struggling to communicate then there are serious problems with the relationship.  Lack of communication is one of the top reasons why men break up with women.

2. Over-demanding women!

At the beginning of a relationship women take men for who they are and all is good.  But as time goes on, some women will start to become quite demanding of their man.  Women sometimes like to have control in a relationship and may enforce too many rules and limits on their partner.  As the relationship becomes more serious they will expect the man to start spending more time at home and less time out with friends.  If a man isn’t ready to change his life to suit the ‘couple’ lifestyle then this can be too much pressure for him.  Putting too much pressure and too many demands on a man is a big reason for many break ups.

3. Needy women!

Men like to play the role of the big hero and so it can give their ego a nice boost when a woman plays the ‘damsel in distress’ role.  However, this is alright once in a while but a man will get quite annoyed with a woman if she is constantly needy and reliant on him.  Although it is good to rely on a man to some degree, a woman still needs some degree of independence.  A man will lose respect for a woman who is too clingy and can’t do anything for herself.  It can even become a bit creepy if a woman develops an obsession for the man and won’t let him out of her site.  When she expects him to spend every free minute with her, he will feel smothered and need to escape.  When the relationship gets to this point, the man will escape by breaking up with the woman.

There are many reasons why men dump women, but these are three very common ones.  Don’t think that you’re relationship is fine because it’s women that do the dumping, it’s not the case anymore.  Men also hold the power of a relationship in their hands.  If you find yourself in the situation of being dumped by a man, you can try communicating with him to see if there is any chance of salvaging the relationship.  If he has no interest at all in reconciling then you need to accept that the relationship is over and perhaps learn from the mistakes you may have made.

"Magic of Making Up" Click here

Relationship Split Decision: Break Up Or Make Up

How do you know when it’s really all over?  Is it when one of you calls it quits?  Or, is there still hope even when someone has walked out?  This article will look at relationships – break up or make up.

There are numerous reasons that relationships break up.  Some of them are even good reasons.  For instance, if you are just leading your partner on, it is right to cut him or her loose.  If he or she isn’t trustworthy, that is a good reason for a break up.  Of course, sometimes people’s lives change and the partner no longer fits into the total picture, in which case, it is good to end the relationship.

So, when do you make up? 
There are two components to saving a relationship.  First of all, you have to both love each other.  But that alone is not enough to save relationships from breaking up.  For instance, partners of different religious faiths may love each other but find that love alone can’t bridge the difference in their outlook for the future.

You also have to be able to see a future together.  If you can’t see the person in your life in six months, you might as well separate now, even if you have a real bond of affection.  And, if this is a serious relationship and you can’t see yourself marrying your partner, you will be doing both of you a favor by calling it quits.

If you are going to make up, you need to reflect on the relationship’s break up.  Why did things go sour?  When you have identified the root causes of the split, you can begin to fix things.

It may take time to fix things.  While your ex may not be willing to jump back into bed with you, they might be willing to be friends and to work on the relationship.  In fact, after a relationship’s break up, you may not want to start right back where you left off.  Instead, take some time to rebuild the romance in your lives.

Here is some advice for people who are wondering whether to break up or make up.
1) First of all, listen more than you talk.  Don’t always try to explain your position.  Try to understand your ex’s.  Also, listen without planning a rebuttal.

2) Remember to do the things your ex likes.  If she likes it when you buy her flowers, get a dozen roses.  If he likes it when you go to his football scrimmages, go.  This shows that you pay attention to their wants and needs.

3) Show your ex that they are on your mind even when you are not around.  You can do this by calling or texting them.

4) Call each other by loving or pet names.  This brings exclusiveness to the relationship.

5) Try to have fun again.  Too many times, relationships become too serious.  “Communication” becomes paramount.  But, dating is supposed to be fun.  Try putting the serious issues aside from time to time and focus on enjoying each others company.

When it comes to relationships, break up is hard because you have invested so much in the other person.  Because of this, making up is sometimes the better answer.

The Magic of Making Up

Strategies For Convincing A Spouse To Save A Marriage

When you’re partner seems minutes away from packing their bags—or you're living separately already—convincing a spouse to save a marriage can seem next to impossible. If you take a step back from
the situation, though, you can see that there are realistic options for changing the mind of a spouse who's about to walk out. Here are some strategies that may just get your partner to come around.

Fake it 'til you make it':

It's a common strategy for business and other areas of social like, but acting 'as if' can work for marriages, too. It works so well because how we act has a major influence both on how we feel and on how others see us.

For a while, try forgetting that you have anything but a perfectly blissful marriage and treat your spouse accordingly. Now, that's not going to be so easy if your partner's still bitter and liable to pick a fight. Still, you can take advantage of those times when things are
going well to try to see your spouse as the person you were deeply in love with when you decided to get married.

Be reasonable:

Whether you want your spouse to join you in marriage counseling or just try out a few tips you picked up from a book, you'll have more success in winning them over if you don't push. Threats, guilt trips, and begging are more likely to push your partner away than give you any success convincing him to save a marriage. Instead, use a calm logical approach that taps into the underlying regard you spouse most likely still has for you or at least for the children.

Statements like 'With everything we've invested in each other, don't you think it's worth a try to save it?' or 'Wouldn't you rather be able to tell the kids we tried everything?' can help.

Address the problems:

When convincing a spouse to save a marriage, promises to change ring pretty hollow unless you can back them up. If you expect your husband to believe you're not going to repeat certain mistakes in
the future, give them a real reason. This is especially important if you've had an affair or you're struggling with an addiction.

For instance, if you've started counseling to resolve an addiction that you've never dealt with before, your partner has a reason to believe things will get better.

Take care of yourself:

The stress and low mood, marital problems naturally bring about, can leave you feeling like you just don't want to do anything. For your own sake, though, don't give in to that feeling or you'll only make yourself feel worse and drive your spouse farther away.

Make sure you're eating right, getting enough sleep, and not cutting corners on personal grooming. Stay on top of your responsibilities like finances and home maintenance.

Convincing a spouse to save a marriage isn't always easy, but it can be done. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm, stay upbeat, and actively look for solutions to the problems between you.

If you need more advice on convincing your spouse to save a marriage, most marriage counselors and professionally written self-help ebooks online can give you some tips.

The Magic of Making Up

My Thoughts On Mr. T-Dub Jackson "Magic of Making Up": Do His Methods Work

When you visit T Dub’s website and read on what people say about The Magic of Making Up, you’ll realize that his advice really works. In fact, you’ll be surprised at just how effective it is. His eBook is not for those who want to hurt others. In fact, it really is just for the everyday man or woman. Read through the testimonials and see the many different situations that people have surpassed just because they listened to his expert advice.

So what’s the first step to winning the love of your life back? Download this eBook, that is. He tells you that there are no impossible situations. That, in itself, has given many people so much hope. T Dub has noticed that in helping so many people, there is always a reason for everything. He also has been exposed to a variety of motives that lay hidden in their calm façade. Once you understand how a person is, you are given a hint of what to do.

He hands you a recipe for love so that you can understand your significant other much better. Not only will you be able to get your ex back, you also will know how to make the relationship thrive and last for as long as you want. Now that’s one piece of great news everyone would want to get their hands on.

When you see yourself in the middle of a tough situation, calm down and take a breather. There’s no longer reason for panic because T Dub is here to give you the help that you desperately need.

Magic of Making Up - Click here

The One Lie That Kills Every Relationship

Everyone tells lies sometimes. (We’re human, after all.)

Especially in relationships.

Sure, plenty are harmless, little white lies told with the best intentions (“No honey, of course your butt doesn’t look big in those jeans” comes to mind…).

But some lies are so big, so pervasive, so utterly destructive, that they can completely sabotage relationships between even the most compatible couples.

So what IS the one Lie that kills every relationship?

• Is it claiming to be committed and monogamous when you’re really not?
• Is it keeping secrets about the past (your number of exes, a past marriage perhaps)?
• Is it pretending to like the same things – even believe the same way about fundamental matters (like finances and faith) – when you actually don’t?
• Is it saying “I love you” when you’re really not sure?

All really good guesses, but according to world-renowned relationship expert Paige Parker, none of these is the correct answer.

In fact, the #1 Lie isn’t even told by the man or woman involved in the relationship.
It’s a lie that’s pulled over on all of us… BY SOCIETY.

A complete and total un-truth perpetuated by Hollywood; One most of us buy into hook, line, and sinker as early on in life as our first dating experience.

So what IS this lie and how is it sabotaging your chances at finding “The One” and having the loving, passionate, healthy, committed relationship you deserve?

Check out this mind-blowing video by Paige herself that exposes this deadly lie…and then tells you how to change your mind set in two easy steps so you can finally have true love.

Click here to watch the video
 
This video could come down at any time….So if you’re tired of being alone or blindly suffering through one unfulfilling relationship after another, stop what you’re doing and click on this link right now.


Article by Paige Parker (relationship expert)

Note: This video is geared toward helping women find a man of their dreams; But in my opinion Men should watch this video also too... to at least get an insight on what women are truly looking for in a man.

Click here to watch the video
 

How to Handle Bad Sex In The Bedroom

What to do when your sex life lets you down.

The lights are low. A fire smolders in the fireplace. Two wineglasses sit, half empty, on the nightstand. Your clothes lie in a heap on the floor. You reach for each other. The two of you tumble to the bed, and then...

Blah.

No explosions of passion. No breathy proclamations of desire. No tumultuous climax. To put it bluntly, the sex just isn't that good.

And then you wonder: How can everyone in movies and romance novels be having fiery, combustible sex, when you and your partner can barely create a spark?

TV shows and movies give us this very skewed representation of what sex is supposed to be like -- everyone seems to be climaxing and having orgasms all the time from whatever they're doing, and I think when you grow up on a diet of that, when your real life doesn't match, you think...there's something wrong with me or there's something wrong with my partner.

Real-life sex can almost never measure up to the passion portrayed on the screen, people don't talk about the fact that it's likely that in an odd position you'll pass gas, or the love of your life will take you in his arms and have bad breath at the same time.

Sex in the real world isn't perfect, and it doesn't always end with an earth-shattering climax -- but it doesn't have to be in my own opinion. Good sex doesn't necessarily have to be about an orgasm. It can just be an emotionally fulfilling experience between partners -- your love for one another, the way your mate looks at you...can be a climax, so to speak!!

No matter how blah your sex life may be, it can get better. The key, in my own expert opinion, is to know exactly what you want -- and then ask for it.

Getting What You Want in Bed:
You like long foreplay sessions. Your partner is ready to go in an instant. You long for wet, sensual kisses. He prefers dry, chaste pecks. Your partner needs sex twice a day. You can't handle it more than three times a week.

Even when everything else in the relationship is working, sexual styles aren't always compatible. That's especially true for new couples.

Sex is not just naturally perfect; There is the energy of a new relationship that is positive -- the excitement and the eagerness and the passion... And the negative is that you bump noses or knees because you just haven't learned how to dance together yet. Even long-term couples can struggle in the bedroom. Though we can easily tell our partner what shirt we'd like them to wear, or what we'd like them to cook for dinner, on the topic of sex we tend to get tongue-tied.

Why?

Answer: People tend to be very sensitive when it comes to talking about sex. They're afraid of hurting their partner's feelings, so they don't tell them what they like or don't like.

                                   "You're not going to get what you want unless you ask for it"

So how do you tell your partner what you want without bruising his or her ego?

Answer: I think it's really in how you bring up the statement; For example: 'I would love it if we' ... or, 'Could we try this?'-- You don't want to make them feel badly about what they've done or haven't done. You can have that conversation in bed, or at dinner over a glass of wine -- wherever is most comfortable for you.

Before you talk, you need to know exactly what about your sex life bothers you. Is it a question of technique? Personal hygiene? Timing? Once you know what isn't working for you, there are ways you can suggest that can mitigate those circumstances. Such as, if something about your partner's smell is turning you off, suggest taking a bath together before making love. If you crave more foreplay, ask for slower touch's into sex.

Before you can tell your partner what you want him/her to do in bed, you need to know what you like. I think especially for women, they've got to explore their own bodies. You have to masturbate. Get a vibrator, get some books, And teach yourself how to orgasm. But what if, once you've figured out what you want and shared it with your partner, what if your sex life continues to be dull or un-fulfilling? What if it's so bad that it's threatening your relationship?

Well, After you've tried talking and the sex still isn't working, there good be health issues with your mate or it good be from the last poor performance that they are afraid of disappointing you again.Sometimes the problem is a physical one, such as premature ejaculation Or it may be that the stress from your job is bleeding over into the bedroom and disrupting your sex life.In those cases it can help to see a sex therapist and try to unravel why you two are not getting along...and And then we try to remedy that.

If you're still unsatisfied, is it ever OK to fake it in bed?
Answer: NO!

If you're faking it, you're doing yourself a disservice because you're not learning what really turns you on -- And it may eventually takes a toll. Your partner's going to realize that you're disconnected.

Can sex ever be bad enough to consider ending a relationship over?
Answer: Possibly.

You might really love somebody and the sex is never going to be better than okay. You have to decide whether that's livable or not. The simple fact is this -- in many cases you have to either accept that the sex is never going to be mind-blowing or you have to leave...as mean as it my sounds, only you can decide whats best for you both.

Whenever you're considering a breakup or divorce, you need to weigh every element of the relationship, and not just the sex...You can't have everything in life your way. If you have a wonderful relationship and you love each other and you have kids but the sex isn't great-- maybe you can live with that. However, In most cases, though, you shouldn't have to break up or settle for mediocre sex, as long as you're willing to put a little effort into it-- every couple has the potential to have good sex.

If you're two emotionally and physically healthy people, you should be able to work with what you've got. Not everybody needs to be hanging off the chandelier..."You can get better". But you have to practice, and you have to be open to discussing it... And getting help when you need it.

Recommended Reading: "Great Sex Now. Even If You're Not In the Mood" Click here for more details.







                                      

7 Solutions That Can Save a Relationship

It's the rare couple that doesn't run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them.

Listen up closely, in spite of the fact that every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage them and keep their love life going. They gain success in marriage by hanging in there, tackling problems, and learning how to maneuver through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.

Relationship Problems - "Communication" is such a important word:

 All relationship problems stem from poor communication skills; You can't communicate while you're checking your BlackBerry, Iphone, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section... And also how to you view your relationship, where do you want it to go -- these are questions only you and your mate can answer.

Problem-solving strategies:

• Make an actual appointment with each other,  If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.
• If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
• Set up some rules -- like not interrupting until the other is through or banning phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."
• Use body language to show you are listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you, he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.

Relationship Problems: Sex

Even partners who love each other can be incompatible sexually. A lack of sexual self-awareness and education compounds these problems. Yet, having sex is one of the last things you should be giving up -- it brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy.

 Problem-solving strategies:

• Plan, plan, plan. like making an appointment with each other,  but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie." Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation -- adding that mixing things up a bit can increase your sexual enjoyment as well. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Sex by the fire? Sex standing up in the hallway?  Sex in the car or wherever you feel the urge.
• Learning what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up with a personal "Sexy List." Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.
• If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, you need to seek out a sex therapist to help you both address and resolve your issues.

 Relationship Problems: Money
Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.

 Problem-solving strategies:

• Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is simply unrealistic.
• Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.
• Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each others tendencies.
• Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.
• Don't blame.
• Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
• Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.
• Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.
• Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals too.
• Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.

 Relationship Problems: Struggles Over Home Chores
Most partners work outside the home and often at more than one job. So it's important to fairly divide the labor at home when ever possible.

Problem-solving strategies:

• Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home, write all the jobs down and agree on who does what... but be fair. Make sure each partner's tasks are equitable so no resentment builds.
• Be open to other solutions, If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you.

Relationship Problems: Not Making Your Relationship a Priority

• If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say "I do" otherwise your relationship can and will lose their its luster. So make yours a priority.
• Problem-solving strategies:
• Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Make gestures of appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
• Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
• Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate ...." It lets your partner know that he or she matters.

 Relationship Problems: Conflict

Occasional conflict is an inevitable part of life, according to some psychologists. But if you and your partner feel like you are starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day, it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can reduce the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.

 Problem-solving strategies:

• Conflict resolution skills can help you and your partner learn to argue in a more constructive manner -- below make these strategies part of who you are in this relationship.
• Realize you are not a victim. It is your choice whether you react and how you react.
• Be honest with yourself. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments directed toward resolution, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.
• Change it up. If you continue to respond in the same way that has brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
• Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.

 Relationship Problems: Trust

Trust is an essential part of a relationship. Are there certain behaviors that are causing you not to trust your partner, or do you have unresolved issues that are hindering you from trusting others?

Problem-solving strategies:

You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips below.

1. Be consistent.
2. Be on time.
3. Do what you say you will do.
4. Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others.
5. Be fair, even in an argument.
6. Be sensitive to the others feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling.
7. Call when you say you will.
8. Call to say you'll be home late.
9. Carry your fair share of the workload.
10. Don't overreact when things go wrong.
11. Never say things you can't take back.
12. Don't dig up old wounds.
13. Respect your partner's boundaries.
14. Don’t be jealous.
15. Be a good listener.

Despite the fact there are always going to be problems in a relationship, always remember there are things you can both do to minimize marriage problems -- if  you are willing to try.

First, be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. "Ask for what you need directly," ...

Next, use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more.

Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that things would be better with someone else. Unless you address them, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you're in.

Recommended Reading: "Magic of Making Up" by T-Dub Jackson - Order Your Copy Today by Clicking here
  

Video Message from T-Dub Jackson: How to Get Your Ex Back

Magic of Making Up - for more details Click here now!

Mr Perfect; Not!

The earlier you realize this sad but true fact, the sooner you can get to finding Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect. Prince Charming, riding on a white horse, lost or found Princess Charming and got married on his way to the palace. Get over it and get on it. You may actively have to seek the man of your dreams and you will not find him hiding under your bed. You know that he is not a person you know already; So, now what? Online dating "what" is it meaning.

It is true that online dating, while in infancy, consisting only of perverts, sexual predators, nerds, and weirdoes but that is no longer true. It has become the main tool of a person in every developed country in the world. Forty million people can not be all wrong. Ask your girl friends if they ever used online dating or are using it now. If they are honest with you, most of them have or are now members of at least one online dating site and may be more than one. It really is the way to go to meet eligible men who want to meet you. No matter what your number ... such as age, height, size, or income either. Out there in the world is a great person you can love and will love back and think that you are beautiful and desirable.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is true. What is considered beautiful in one part of the world totally different from what is considered beautiful in another part of the world. Even different from one part of the country to another.

Finding online dating site that fits your needs. Writing a great profile and post a flattering picture. Start contacting eligible men on the site. Mr. Close-enough-to-perfect could be a few clicks of the mouse away to get the guy of you dreams.

From Boyfriend To Husband - Now Cheater

Is this you; I found out my husband has had numerous affairs throughout our marriage. But when I confronted him and told him what I knew, he claims they meant nothing and that most men do it. He said it was just something that just happen and he never wanted to hurt me, I'll never do it again -- he treats me like a queen, but I'm worried that he will continue to cheat on me.

Doesn't the above paragraph sounds familiar to you? It's the same script women have when they've been cheated on.

In my opinion, I would call any man rather it be your boyfriend or husband behavior -- high risk, especially with all the sexually transmitted diseases going around. If he believes that (most men do it too), he may get caught up in this learned male-behavior pattern.

Men escape serious social consequences in repeated affairs because 'Boys-Will-Be-Boys' attitude still prevails. Sex adventure sometimes becomes a sport for men, which is why it's often called scoring. Your husband's multiple affairs confirm that sex was the goal, rather than intimacy, romance or commitment. Some experts in the field of sex therapy and marriage counseling, believe that men cheat out of curiously, a need for variety, sexual frustration, boredom and the need for acceptance and recognition.

Women must recognize that her mate is part boy, part adolescent and part man. The boy needs caring, the adolescent sex and the man approval -- a man's masculinity is confirmed through sex. You both my need to consider marriage counseling to find out the motivation behind his cheating.

His maturity will come when he discovers what drives him to these sexual conquests. But, remember you are not the cause of his infidelity, and you should not be the victim of it either. Tell him that he can protect the interest of his relationship/marriage with professional counseling. Also, you need to express your hurt to him, but in a constructive manner -- but before you seek out therapy, go out for walks, for drives, to your favorite restaurants, places where you were happiest, to begin talking about these painful events. Listen to each other without interruptions, don't judge each other and allow yourselves to ventilate pent-up feelings. Love is powerful, but it requires work and sacrifice, respect each other... And don't let friends or family give their opinion about whats good for you or what they would do -- this is your relationship (be in control of it).

"Infidelity - Is Like Quicksand...You Must Step Cautiously"

Recommended Reading: "Magic of Making Up" by T-Dub Jackson -- Order Your Copy Today! Click here