Jan 2, 2019

Who Is Ms.~ Mr. Right Anyway?

Of course you want to fall in love; But, like many singles -- you despair of finding that (right one). You may have some idea of your perfect man or woman -- he should be good-looking, rich, and powerful; She should be beautiful, sexy -- And smart.

One of my good buddies who's a single guy and real estate investor -- Says (in restate you look for three things? Location, location, location). But, in the dating market -- a lot of women look for three things: Cash, cash, cash. In a culture where the free love of the 1970s has emerged into high commercialism, love has been reduced to the (BBD) -- meaning, Bigger Better Deal. But when it comes down to it -- the right person might just be the postman or the person who seemed quite plain at first; But who turns out to love sports, be a terrific cook or the best lover you ever had.

Mystery of Attraction:

In many ways attraction is a mystery; But there are some guidelines to help you understand the process. First, I'd like to introduce you to my concept of (the Mirror Law of Attraction). According to this principle we attract and are attracted to those people who have something we desire or wish to defy. For example: People who have commitment problems (but deny it) frequently attract unavailable types who wear their noncommittal status like a badge -- or people who are insecure about their looks are often compelled to date the most attractive people they can find.

we are also all equipped with a (love antennae) that help us tune into certain types of people. But beware -- your love antennae may be improperly programmed, leaving you to make choices that end up making you unhappy.

Your love antennae gets tuned by your particular (love criteria) -- things you think you must have in a partner. But on closer examination -- those qualities may not be essential --And you may have to change your criteria to find someone more suitable. Along those lines, many of us also keep an (eligibility score) in which we asses our (market) worth -- and that of potential mates. Assess each quality from 0 (=Zero) to 10 (=Hero).

For example: If you rate yourself a '9' in looks, but a '4' in intelligence -- you might pick someone who ranks a '4' in attractiveness, but a '9' in smarts; So your scores even out to a similar number. If you feel you have a quality covered -- you may find yourself going after someone who offers something that you don't quite have.

What Is Chemistry, and Does It Exist?

You spot him across a crowded room and you just know he's the one. It's the dream of a lifetime. You feel that chemistry -- the thrill of electricity through your body. Your heart pounds -- and you feel that the two of you are meant to be together. Book, online ebooks, songs, movies are replete with these scenarios. These stories fuel hope -- and we despair when it doesn't happen to us.

But just what is chemistry? Love, attraction or lust; Call it what you will (but it does trigger physiological reactions). In a heightened state of arousal our bodies release a number of hormones and chemicals. One of these adrenaline triggers the (flight or flight response) that explains symptoms such as sweaty palms, palpitations and weak knees -- similar to anxiety symptoms triggered by a final exam or the near miss of a traffic accident. Other chemicals include oxytocin (the cuddle chemical), phenylethylamine (the natural high chemical) -- and endorphines (the pleasure chemical).

The feeling of being magnetically attracted to someone may also have to do with the bioelectric fields that surround our bodies. A cycle is created; When we are aroused -- our bodies release chemicals which in turn stimulate the smooth muscles and sensitize the nerve endings. This makes us even more sensitive to pleasure and more emotionally responsive. As you interpet your body signals to mean you are (in love) your enthusiasm escalates.

Making Your Love Deal:

Picking a mate is like the art of the deal. There are qualities you definitely want in a mate -- (deal points): Conditions that you won't accept or live with under any circumstances! (Deal breakers): Points you are willing to negotiate.

List the qualities you want in a mate. While I've only made room for 5 -- you can list more if you wish too.

1. _______________________________________

2. _______________________________________

3. _______________________________________

4. _______________________________________

5. _______________________________________

Now, go back over your list and circle the qualities that are non-negotiable -- the real deal breaker. Put a question mark next to the ones that are negotiable -- things you are willing to compromise on or could learn to live with or without. Next, put an 'X' next to the points that continually cause you trouble in relationships -- these may be things you should consider dropping from your list or giving up on when looking for a mate.


Love Scripts:

Chemistry and deal points are just part of the reason we choose the people we do. We also use a (love script); This is a fantasy that tells us how we'd like our love lives to go. Think of it as a movie of your love life -- and you are casting a partner for the leading role. Our love scripts are based on our emotional needs, experiences, beliefs and desires.

Our love scripts often lead us to people who offer us some measure of emotional protection. For example: One of my good buddies whos in video editing industry -- told me that he had a thing for women over 200 pounds; He said "If they're not fat..."I won't date them". Terribly insecure about his own underdeveloped body -- he convinced himself such full figured women would never reject him; So he felt safe. To find out why you are attracted to a particular trait -- (ask yourself this) what meaning does this have for me? How does being with a person like that make me feel safe, protected, important and powerful?.

of course, our early childhood experiences also play a role in why we pick certain partners. For example; When I dug a little deeper into my friend past and the sources of his attraction for large women -- I learned he had a frail mother who never hugged him. This helped explain his distaste for slim framed women whom he expected would be as cold. His very overweight aunt came to visit to their home frequently -- and her arms around him were his only fond memory of nurturing -- making him pleasantly predisposed to other women like her.

Condition That Enhance Attraction:

In one study, men who had exercised vigorously found a pretty woman even more appealing than those who had exercised for only 25 seconds. In another study, men coming off a narrow - swaying footbridge 230 feet above the rocks - asked a female computer software code expert out on a date more often than men walking across a low concrete span. The explanation: Arousal from fear -- pounding heart, pumping blood -- can be interpreted as excitement -- making the men more susceptible to attraction.

Experiencing grief or loss stimulates a desire to reaffirm life -- bringing people together in the fact of tragedy. Sometimes these relationships flower beautifully. For example: Beth lost her boyfriend to cancer -- but at a memorial service, she met David. Although an unlikely pair (she was a ceo for a computer company in Chicago) and (he owned a chain of grocery stores in Iowa); They bonded with memories of their cherished friend. Dispite their differences -- they discovered emotional similarities -- and by transcending their shared pain, found a new love that was deep and lasting.

Many people have had the experience of falling for a co-worker or fellow casr member in a play -- only to have the relationship fall apart at the end of the project. Mutual endeavors are very erotic; But don't guarantee lasting love. If you fall for someone during an intense project at work or while you are both performing in a community play -- don't be surprised if the relationship fizzles after the common bond dissipates.

Opposites Attract:

You know the old saying, "Opposites Attract" -- and we have all seen this adage in action. But over time, differences that were once appreciated can become sources of irritation. For example: A woman called a local radio station to say (that her boyfriend loves jazz music and live blues). At first she was captivated by this because she's more the alternative music, rock-n-roll type. But the novelty was beginning to wear thin. If she and her boyfriend want to keep the relationship going -- they both have to learn to accommodate their differences.

At this point, I suggest that couples keep in mind the three "A's": Acceptance, Appreciation, and Adjustment. For example: Mike, he's a truck driver and his wife a bank manager -- are a prime example of how opposites attract and make a wonderful match. They seem to have put the three "A's" to work; She loves the (Blues) -- he loves country music; He's into basketball -- and she loves football. Joking about these differences helps them appreciate each other all the more. Get it!


Common Dating Myths:

When you become depressed about dating -- it might be because your mind is telling you discouraging thoughts. Many of these are blatantly unture; Here are some common misconceptions -- And the truth about them:

Myth: There is no one for you. All the good ones are taken.

Reality: Negative thoughts create negative outcomes; Positive thoughts allow positive realities. Remember, the world is full of possibilities. There is a cover for every cooking pot. Even the gloomy forecast years ago that single women over 35 had as much a chance of finding a man as being attacked by a terrorist was subsequently proved misleading. Instead of worrying about your chances -- look at dating as a series of separate events; All that matters is what happens to you. Un the movie 'Dumb and Dumber' Jim Carrey falls hard for Lauren Holly -- and asks god what his chances are? 1 in a million, is the answer. Carrey then cheers -- 'I have a chance!' Even if it's true that you have a 1 in 292.2 million chance of winning the 'Mega Million Lottery' jackpot -- someone has to win it -- And it could be you!!

You always have a chance. Be encourage, like one single guy who drinks at a local sports bar -- who said (I'm not attractive, he admitted, and I fell for this gorgeous girl and thought she'd never look at me twice; But, I won her heart. We started out as friends and we got to talking. She told me she had been abused when she was younger -- and that I made her laugh. Now she says she never felt as comfortable with anyone in her life).

Rather than looking for (the one) -- be open to dating around. Make the most of every date -- not in terms of success or failure or ridden with expectations or desperation; But as an adventure, a way of enjoying and learning about yourself and others. Beat any man or woman shortage odds (instead of insisting on a certain height, salary, or status -- be open to possibities of who might be good for you.

For example; consider white collar/blue collar unions: Princess Stephanie of Monaco had 2 children by her bodyguard before she married him. Elizabeth Taylor married carpenter Larry Fortensky. Roseanne divorced her producer husband Tom Arnold to marry chauffeur/bodyguard. More secure women today consider repairmen, chauffeurs -- And bodyguards -- not fearing (marrying down) but welcoming the man's love and support.

Aslo consider May, December and December, May age gap relationships. Research shows the ideal relationship was once considered to be the man being 3 1/2 years older than the woman -- (anthropolgically younger fertile females were desirable to propagate the species). But, today's trend of older women with younger men -- (if you didn't know, was made popular by 'Cher', who in her forties dated twenty something lovers) can be a successful coupling. The younger man has grown up respecting independent mature women and is more comfortale with equality than many older men. Lots of guys, answer proudly to losing their virginity to the Mrs. Robinson (from the movie 'The Graduate', in which Dustin Hoffman had an affair with a woman old enough to be his mother) -- revering the sexually confident (teacher).

Differences in culture, race and religion can seem insurmountable. D.J. is a black man and attracted to a asian girl. Bill girlfriend is Lutheran, but he's jewish. Parents and friends warn and object -- causing these couples to argue. Get past your own and society prejudices. Be prepared for lifestyle decisions. Understand the reason for the attraction -- (for the person or what that person can do for you) protect, nurture, provide?

I maintain that any difference can be overcome if you truly appreciate each other and work out major lifestyle decisions about kids, careers, family visits, etc. If other's objections get to you too much -- they are triggering your own hesitations or doubts that you should examine. Are you worried that your attraction is a rebellion, an escape or a challenge? Declare a moratorium on the worries and spend time strengthening your relationship -- so it can withstand objections.

Myth: There is only one person right for you.

Reality: There are many fish in the sea. There is no one and only Mr. or Ms. Right -- and no perfect person -- only real people with real imperfections. It's totally true that finding love menas being open to many possibities and making compromises.

Myth: It's impossible to find someone to love.

Reality: Love can come in unexpected places and times -- and in unexpected partners. For example: Sonny was morose in her search. She told all her friends to be on the lookout -- went to all the right parties -- And joined all kinds of clubs; But seemingly to no avail. Finally, while visiting her sister in another state -- she went to a museuim exhibit. As she stood in front of a painting -- a man with a small child asked her what she thought of the work. As she wandered to the next painting -- and the next -- he seemed to follow her. Finally, he asked her to join him for lunch. They've been painting the town together ever since.

Myth: Finding the right person is simply a matter of (fate) -- being in the place at the right time.

Reality: As Sonny's story shows -- fate and timing are important; But you have to be open, receptive and ready.

You may not be able to ensure that any one activity or place will manifest love -- in fact you should not have expectations -- but when you are open to possibilities, feeling good about yourself -- and going about your life with joy -- more people are bound to be drawn to you.

Myth: All the (good ones) are taken. There are no good men or women left.

Reality: Even if many (good ones) are taken -- it only takes one. You may even know that good person now and just need to open your eyes.

Nice Guys Don't Have to Finish Last:

The lament of the nice guy is a common one that I hear a lot when speaking with single men; Like, Bobby, who drinks at his favorite sports bar (who echoes the troubled refrain of many guys) -- "Why is that girls stay with guys who treat them poorly, but nice guys get stepped on?". Bobby is right! Many women are attracted to bad guys. Most single women stated (I like exciting guys -- I know they're jerks and I'd like to like another guy I know who's sweet; But I can't help it -- the rat just turn me on). Some women like men in this trap of being torn between two loves -- one nice and one exciting -- are addicted to a challenge. They need to prove they are desirable. They can only escape this trap when they feel secure within themselves -- And find their own life exciting.

Like Bobby, Jimmy is similary befuddled; "I spared no expense romancing this girl for 2 weeks -- opening doors for her, taking her horseback riding, buying her gifts. But she said I was too nice and left me for some guy who acts tough and treats her rough. What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with Jimmy -- is that he opened his bank account and his heart too fast. Showering someone with gifts does not ensure her approval. But before he jumps to conclusions that being nice isn't worth it -- Jimmy has to examine what else he might be doing wrong; Such as, choosing a woman who is unavailable and unattainable -- who only wants a challenge in a man -- and who may have such low self-esteem that she can't let herself be loved.

Following my (mirror law of attraction) if you're always attracted to unavailable, unattainable dates -- look at why you need to have partners who don't appreciate you. It might be to prove that you're okay; Because of low self-esteem; If so, value yourself as you are or because you need to prove that all people are hard to please (look at your history and see why you resent men or women) -- or because you are really afraid of commitment -- so you pick partners who would never want to settle down either.

'Nice' used to be the kiss of death -- implying doormat, need or wimp. But the new nice male or female can be good looking and exciting. The on thing the nice guy or gal may lack is mystery or elusiveness -- in it's place is sensitivity, caring, sincerity and reliability.

Nice people are there for you in an emergency -- give even more than they take -- and listen when you need to talk. They're your best friend -- the ones you call to complain about all the others who treat you poorly. They love you for you. They remember your birthday. They may not show up like fireworks -- but they'll warm your heart by the fire.

I'm often asked, (where do I go to meet someone nice?). The nice guy or gal often shows up as somebody's good friend. So look right under your nose. Ask friends, relatives and co-workers to introduce you to their best friends. The nice guy may be the one who lets you out of the elevator first in your office building or the one who offers you a seat on the bus. The nice gal's the one with the smiling face at your coffee shop. Once you've detemined that (nice) is the one quality you won't compromise on -- your (love anttenae) will be attuned to that type of person and he or she will show up in your life.

The Good Friend Test: 

I always marvel at how people accept things from lovers that they would never accept from friends. One woman says; My boyfriend cheats on me, he lies, he always gorget to call me -- but I still love him.

Before yo set out to find your ideal date -- think about what friendship means to you. After all, you want your lover to be your friend -- don't you?. List the things that are important in a friend; Such as, steadfastness, honesty, reliability -- And then consider whether your current or past lovers have these qualities. If anything you can be a little more lenient with friends; But should compromise less when it comes to a love partner -- where you have more to invest and more to gain or lose.

Expecting Change:

Part of love is support each other to become your best. But if you choose partners with the expectation of changing them -- you're courting serious disappointment. For example: A woman named Teresa, says, (I've been seeing Jack for 6 years. He's really smart -- but he's lazy. He's been working on his dissertation for years and just can't finish it. I keep encouraging him because I know he's talented -- but now I feel like I'm just pushing him. Latlely he's said that he's not interested in a career -- that he'd rather do something simple. I'm afraid he'll never make anything of himself).

While it is wonderful to be a partner's cheerleader and inspiration -- if you both have decidedly different goals -- it might be time to either accept your mate or cut your losses. Eventually, Teresa decided she could never be happy being a constant nag -- nor could she be happy with someone who wasn't as ambitious as she was; So she and Jack parted ways.

Compatibility Test:

Lets end this article with a simple compatibility test that helps you gauge -- if a relationship is going to work. If you're not seeing someone right now -- remember to come back to this test when you start dating. Compatibility is essential, if a relationship is going to work. Ask yourself these questions:

A.) Do the two of you have similar values? Research shows that shared values are crucial in keeping a relationship together.

B.) Can you resolve your differences? Every couple has arguments -- but can you resolve them, respecting one another's opinions and needs? If you argue more often than you agree -- you're in trouble.

C.) Do you have similar needs for closeness or separateness? If one person wants to be inseparable while the other feels suffocated with too much togetherness -- you're in trouble.

D.) Do you have similar sex drives? Sex doesn't have to be on top of the list for every couple (but, it does has to be on their somewhere). In most, healthy, happy relationships -- partners have similar feelings about sex.

E.) Do you have similar lifestyles and goals? Some differences can be worked out (he's an early riser, while she comes alive late at night); But others can tear couples apart (she wants kids, he doesn't).

A 'No' answer to any one of these questions could spell trouble. Since each one of these can derermine whether your relationship is happy and lasting -- comcentrate on how you may differ and make efforts to apply the three 'A's' (Acceptance, Appreciation and Adjustment).

Before jumping to conclusions about any relationshio -- make sure you observe your partner over time. Follow my 3 month observation period guidelines; This is the minimum amount of time necessary to truly assess someone's character -- Trustworthiness, Security, Reliability and Kindness. Falling too fast leads to trouble -- so take things slow. You don't want to cast someone into your love script without really knowing that person.

A Few Tips to Remember: 

1. Treat daing as an adventure.

2. You always have a chance. 

3. Ultimately, the best partner is someone who is secure and who really cares about you.



Resources:

The Best Dating and Romance eBook Review Sites Online - Click here

Obsession Phrases Dating Secrets" Say These Words and Make any Man Want to Love You!" Click here

"300 Creative Dates" - The Worlds Most Romantic, Unique And Fun Dating Ideas - For Singles Or Married Couples. Click here

How to Respark the Romance - Click here

"Girl Gets Ring" Complete Steps on How to Go from 'Hello' to 'I Do'! Click here

Men: "Make Small Talk Sexy": Conversation Escalation Free Video Presentation, Click here Now!


"His Secret Obsession" - Incredible Video, Click Here to Watch FREE Now!

The Guy Magnet System - Click here to Watch FREE Video.

Weirdest Girl Getting Trick Ever? Click here


Jan 1, 2019

9 Quick Dating Tips Check List

Looking at dating as a valuable learning experience. Dating gives you the opportunity to meet new people -- learn about yourself --And, if all goes well, experience love. To help you reach that success -- here are some quick tips to keep in mind below:

1. Meet as many people as you can.

2. Let people know you're available.

3. Decide on your (love criteria).

4. Don't be afraid of rejection.

5. Go places and see things that you enjoy.

6. Boost your self-esteem and mates will flock to you.

7. Remember that you have the power to get what you want.

8. Always have hope (you can meet someone special anytime and anywhere.

9. Be ready and open for love.



Resources:

The Best Dating and Romance eBook Review Sites Online - Click here


Obsession Phrases Dating Secrets" Say These Words and Make any Man Want to Love You!" Click here

"300 Creative Dates" - The Worlds Most Romantic, Unique And Fun Dating Ideas - For Singles Or Married Couples. Click here

How to Respark the Romance - Click here

"Girl Gets Ring" Complete Steps on How to Go from 'Hello' to 'I Do'! Click here

Men: "Make Small Talk Sexy": Conversation Escalation Free Video Presentation, Click here Now!

"His Secret Obsession" - Incredible Video, Click Here to Watch FREE Now!

The Guy Magnet System - Click here to Watch FREE Video.

Weirdest Girl Getting Trick Ever? Click here

Nov 28, 2018

"Q & A" Letters from Blog Readers: Advice on Love and Relationships

Question: He married another woman, but really loves me; How long do I wait? I have a strange relationship with a guy I met in 2015. He was living with a woman and they have a child. This guy and I went everywhere and did everything together. We kept no secrets. Well, he turned around and married the woman he lived with, but he didn't tell me. The day before he married her, he told me that he loved me. After he got married, I decided to leave him alone and move on with my life, but I could not really let go. He still calls and says he loves me. He has never disrespected me and treats me as if I'm the only one who exists in his world. He says I'm his only true love. His mother tells me to just stand by his side. But how long do I have to wait?

New York

Answer: Exactly what are you waiting for? He made his decision when he married the other woman. Stop listening to him and his mother. Stop being a fool. He has disrespected you, and you are disrespecting yourself. As long as he can keep you at his beck and call, he will.


Question: I was in my first-ever relationship and it lasted for three years. In the summer, I went to visit my boyfriend and found out that he didn't live there anymore. We were deeply in love, and we were planning to get married. I really want to find him so maybe we can hook up again. Sometimes I if I hadn't moved to another city, our relationship would still be going strong. Please help! It has been one year and six months that I've been without love, and I'm still not over him yet. Please tell me how I can find him or tell me what I can do? He nicknamed me "Short Stuff," and I keep that name because of him. I miss him so. Please, please help me!

Tampa

Answer: You can forget about this long-lost love. If he wanted to be found, he would have contacted you. In fact, he would not have moved without telling you where he was going. Sometime things that are unattainable appear to be much better than they actually are. Realistically, how wonderful was this long distance relationship? Did he travel to see you or were you the only one trying to make the relationship work? If necessary, seek counseling to get over this guy. He has moved on. You must do the same.

Question: About a year ago, the guy I've been dating for almost three years asked me to move in with him, and I agreed. I thought relationships that start out as friends were a good thing. In the beginning, he was the nicest, sweetest man I'd ever met. That's why I fell in love with him. Everybody likes him. The problem is he's been married twice, and both of his wives cheated on him; even his girlfriend cheated on him. He is so hard on me; he is looking for me to cheat on him too. I try talking to him until I;m blue in the face to convince him that I'm not like hix exes. I really am different. I have no problem being with one man. I love him with all my heart, but I'm getting tired. His favorite line is "all women are ho's"'. I understand that he's been hurt; so have I, but I learned how to move on. I think I'm the kind of person he needs in his life. I wish he could see that. I really don't want to give up on this relationship, but my heart can't take anymore. I am a good person; why can't he see that I'm different? Can this relationship be saved? Please help me!

Louisana

Answer: Your partner has some deep-rooted issues that are not of your making, but you should not be victimized by his bruised ego from past relationships. Tell him, one more time, that you love him and you want to stick by him, but that you will not continue to let yourself be subjected to his nasty remarks and rantings about women from the past. Put your foot down and tell him to stop calling you a whore and using that kind of language in regard to women. Sure, you may love him, but how deep should your love be? Respect yourself and demand that he respect you also. Ask your partner to go to couples counseling with you. If he refuses and continues to rant and rave about cheating women, move on. Emotional and psychological abuse can be just as bad as physical abuse.

Question: I am 28 and in love with a 42-year old man. We've dated for three years, and my man has yet to trust me. I have not given him any reason not to trust me. My man gets phone records from our cell phones. Is he trying to convince himself that I am unfaithful? I have tried talking to him and I am all talked-out. He also doesn't want to spend time with my family. I am finally losing interest in this relationship. I was hoping to marry him, but since he has free sex, laundry service, a live-in maid and a waitress/cook, I don't feel he will ever ask me to marry him. Or do I even want to marry this guy? Is this older man just using me to be his young thang?

Tennessee

Answer: Based on what you wrote in your letter, it is difficult to understand why you are even with this man. A man/woman relationship should be satisfying and rewarding for both parties, not a one-way street littered with potholes of inequity. If you are not satisfied with the way your man treats you now, rest assured that it will get no better if you marry him. You are young and have a lot of living ahead of you. Don't settle for a relationship or marriage that lacks trust, compatibility and love.

Resouces:




Nov 26, 2018

The Dating Dilemma Continues: Who Should Pick Up the Check?

In today's dating game, couples carefully plan everything they'll do on a first date to make it memorable occasion; But they never talk about the one thing that could derail the whole night into disaster -- who's going to pay the bill? Most traditional thinking people assume the man should cover the cost whether the woman asks him out or not -- whether she makes more than he does or not.

But, as society changes with more and more women bringing home bigger paychecks than the men they date -- the rules are bending, creating some high tension between the sexes and making it difficult to determine who should pay.

This has become a real dilemma for men and women alike, all looking for answers to who should pick up the check. According to majority of relationship counselor's state that "A woman paying for dates is a new development that didn't happen back in the days -- and wasn't expected." During that time -- men always paid, and that women should be very cautious of men who ask them to pay.

If, a woman asks a man out, she should plan on bringing enough money to pay for both. The male should insist on paying (even if says No, I asked you out!). Men still have to feel like they are control; They appreciate women who offer to pay, and they don't like the assumption they have to pay. Recently, there has been evidence that more and more women don't mind paying because they are happy to have an escort. Some men feel comfortable with this arrangement -- And the relationship; Experts say, can work if both parties are satisfied with the situation.

In today's dating game, many women have found out that there is a growing number of men who don't stand on tradition when it comes to dating. One of my client's, who I will not give her real name; Lets just call her Debra Jones -- she went on a date with a man she met online. They rendezvoused at a coffee shop and she got an unexpected shock. He didn't even offer to buy her coffee -- says Debra. She also stated, more and more men are so cheap that they assume (dating) should be dutch, whether it's a blind date or you meet them in person before the date. But if he's a gentleman -- he'll pay -- And not just for admission!

A group of women, like Jasmine Wilder who's a 40 year old public relations project manager in Chicago, IL; Says not asking a date if she wants refreshments at places like movies is just as bad as not paying for the tickets. Many men strongly disagree with that assessment -- but other men like Drew Morgan a 38 year old restaurant owner; Says that's a way to impress your date! "On a first date -- especially if I ask, I should pay," says Drew (women don't have to fight for a date). It's up to the guy to make a good impression.

Like men, there are some women who want to impress their dates -- but at the same time, they wait to see if he will carry out the traditional chivalrous role. A close friend of the family; Said when she asks a man out, she should pay or at least touch the check first -- she says (but it's a good gesture for him to offer to pay. She also stated that, times are changing and some women feel comfortable paying for dates -- but she believes that the idea opens the door for men to take advantage of women. If a woman pays regularly -- he'll be less responsible and depend on her to pay. Some relationship experts say it could go much deeper than that. Most times, when people don't pay for a date -- they don't value you. If you value yourself, don't repeat that!

So what about splitting the check? Many people agree that asking the other person to pay their part of the bill shouldn't come on the first few dates -- but could be considered further into the relationship. Some men think (the woman can pay after the first few dates, as long as she doesn't insult the man's masculinity); She shouldn't say she'll pay because he can't pay -- but offer to pay because she wants to contribute.

After several dates, some women stated -- that they didn't insult their former boyfriends when they gave him the money to pay the check. Prior to the date, they asked him if she needed to bring some money with her -- "If I knew he needed money, I would slip it to him because he's the man and he's supposed to pay when the check comes; But in the first four or five dates if a man can't afford to pay, he shouldn't leave the house." Which majority of women do agree with!

The only time it's appropriate for a man to ask a women to pay is when they're married and she has the checkbook or if they've been dating for a long time. There are men who strongly agree with that idea; But for generations -- men have complained that, some women take advantage of the man's willingness to pay on a date by making costly demands. And some say that has caused them to be much less enthusiastic about picking up the check -- (If she orders something expensive like lobster and he can't pay for it, then she should pay the difference if he asks her to).

Perhaps this dating dilemma can be avoided if the first few dates involve activities that don't make either party feel uncomfortable because of the expense involved. If either person can't afford to pay for both -- then make the first date less extravagant; Says one psychologist expert (it should be revealing to the man, when a woman insists on going to a place that he can't afford). The best dates aren't expensive ones. They are cafes and museums -- places where they can talk.

In my expert opinion, both men and women should some homework before going on a date -- determining what might be too expensive. It's a good idea for women to get as much information about the potential date as possible. Think about where you met and who else knows him. Ask a friend questions about him. Find out where he works, what type of work he does, when he works, his educational background -- And where he lives.

While determining whom to date, ability to pay is at the top of many women's checklist; But it is politically incorrect (to ask a man about his salary). Without questioning him -- there are several indicators that can reveal his financial standings. A woman should depend on what she knows about him and her understanding of the salary for the industry in which he works. Additionally, there are other clues that allow you to size him up, particularly if he doesn't offer to pay; Does he have a college degree and a professional job? Is he 30 years old and still living with his parents or room-mates?

Although financial stability is important -- some women are quick to say that it shouldn't be the only determining factor when sorting date possibilities. It's turn-off if he has less than I do; But I'll go out with him if he has manners and some prospect of a better job. But caution: Don't go buy his shoes -- because he could get lucky with a good pair of shoes. Don't look at his clothes or car either. He could look good for going out; But have nowhere to sleep, and he could have borrowed the car.

For any relationship to work, experts and daters alike -- say the bottom line is that people need to recognize and pay close attention to dating red flags. If he lets her pay on dates, this could be a sign that he's bad with saving money (on the other hand, a woman who expects a man to pay all the time can appear to be a gold digger).

There is almost universal agreement that the patterns developed during the initial dating period will determine the success of a relationship. If you're dating a woman and she never offer to pay -- then she's not being considerate -- (because you both are building a partnership). "It Takes Two to Dance Well Together to Win the Contest".

Resources:

Dating and Romance Guides - Click here for more details

"300 Creative Dates" - The Worlds Most Romantic, Unique And Fun Dating Ideas - For Singles Or Married Couples. Click here now for details

"His Secret Obsession" - Incredible Video, Click Here to Watch FREE Now!

Get Your Ex-Back with the "Ex Factor" The #1 Ex Back System Online". Click here now for more information!

Nov 13, 2018

Ten Biggest Mistakes Women Make In Relationships

Jealousy, mistrust, apathy, selfishness, poor communication, abuse, irreconcilable differences -- the reasons relationships fail are many -- And all too often the remedies for an ailing romance are few. While no sure-fire solution exists to guarantee that you and yours will make it last forever, relationship experts say that your chances at finding lasting romance are good if you avoid the "Ten Biggest Mistakes Women Make In Relationships".

The Top Ten Mistakes Are:

1. Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces.

Sometimes women can get so hung up over what a man has -- and what he dosen't have -- that they often miss out on a wonderful relationship. Women don't have their priorities straight on their good man wish list -- they tend to lead-off with superficial characteristics, which they think a man should have, like; a gorgeous face and body of a "God" -- and in the process eliminate the all right looking men who -- if you gave them half a chance, could be absolutely good to and for you.

Of course, there is recognizing a good man in spite of whether or not he's the sexy like Idris Elba -- and an equally attractive bank account -- And then there is settling for something altogether less than the best, just for the sake of having a mate. Majority of women, when they are with their girlfriends or group -- they seem to have this "Unspoken Code" -- which says they have to be with someone because that's what everyone expects (and often leads many women to date the wrong men).

As a relationship expert myself, I have continue to notice that, there is such a frenzy to have a relationship -- to have a man on your arms -- to meet this unspoken code -- that women fail to look at the signs that say "This May Not Be the Best Person for Me".

Another mistake is, looking for love in men who are strictly off-limits. Women who knowingly and readily date married or committed men should prepare themselves for many a night, weekends and holidays alone; Because, his primary relationship will come first. Even if he tells you that you're the one he really wants to be with; But, in many cases (he'll never let go of his main squeeze). However, on the off chance that he does leave his wife or girlfriend -- how could you possibly trust him to remain faithful to you!" Something to think about.

Some women also do themselves a serious disservice by developing fatal attraction -- desiring a man so badly -- that they do practically anything to get him and keep him, either committing acts that compromise their values and lorals or wasting their time pining away for a man who isn't the least bit interested in them. Like the movie which shares the same name "Fatal Attraction" --and you know how that ended (Badly) of course!

Never, carry a torch for that man -- who neither wants you nor deserves you -- And as a women you have to make choices in your relationship that will give you a level of dignity or live to regret your decision.

2. Having a Savior Complex.


So he drinks, smokes, swears, doesn't like church or children -- and nibbles on his fingers. But that's okay, because once I get with him "He'll Change" -- the famous last words spoken by women -- once they realize all the kisses in the world won't make a prince out of a frog. Women say; " I knew He Had a Drinking Problem, But I Could Fix Him". This is a mistake women make -- in coning themselves into thinking they can correct whatever undesirable characteristic are present in their mate. "I Can Fix Another Person". Women have to get over the idea -- they can fix everything that's wrong.

No matter how much a woman wishes, begs, cajoles or threatens a man to conform to her vision of perfection -- he won't change unless he wants to change. If he's comfortable with the way he is -- well, you should be too. Otherwise, save yourself years of frustration and kiss your froggie-good-bye.

3. Suffering from the Cinderella Syndrome.

The evil twin of the Savior Complex is the Cinderella Syndrome. Too many women are waiting for a rich, handsome and generous prince to sweep them off their feet and whisk them away from all their financial and emotional problems to a happily ever after -- while they expect to do little or nothing for him in return. Guess What? No upscale man in his right mind would make a commitment to a gold-digger or a an emotionally needy woman -- who only sees him as a means to a selfish end.

4. Giving It Up Too Quickly (SEX). 

Another big mistake women often make -- is giving up the key to their bodies, hearts, apartments and finances to a man without even getting to know his real intentions for the relationship. "A Lot of Women Fly Beyond Intimacy and Straight Into Sex"; It's like the body has just taken over -- and they don't really know this man. They don't know his value, what his needs are, how he copes and thinks... (only time will tell wheather that man is in it for the long haul) so be patient. Until then, access to your heart, your body, your finances and your personal business should be restricted.

5. Making Lust, Not Love.

Another mistake many women make in relationships -- is equating sex with love and intimacy. While sex can be a means for two people to express the love they have for each other -- it's also can be an end unto itself. Unfortunately, some women still believe that if a man sleeps with them -- it means he loves them, which is not always the case. Sex and intimacy are not at all synonymous.

We know people sexually, but we don't know them intimately. Men and Women don't take the time to get to know what a partner really needs -- what a partner really wants to feel comfortable, to feel safe -- which explains why when something is going bad -- most are at a loss what to do, how to do, and when to do... (intimacy can take many non-sexual forms). It can mean cuddling -- or just telling that special someone "I Love You".

6. Lugging Old Baggage.

Expecting your current 'beau' to mess up, cheat on you -- or abandon you because that's what your ex-husband -- all your old ex-boyfriends -- or your father did is unfair and sets the stage for trouble in paradise. Everyone deserves to start off a relationship with a clean slate -- without the expectation of failure. Majority of relationship experts agree that -- judging your man based on the bad actions of others (lays the groundwork for a relationship built on doubt, insecurity and mistrust). The law of the land says 'All People' (including men) "Are Innocent Until Proven Guilty" -- so don't try to convict and hang him before he does something wrong.

Democracy should not end on your doorstep.

7. Shouting and Pouting.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Even the sweetest woman can turn sour -- whe sufficiently provoked. Tell the truth? How many stories have you seapped with girlfriends about the nice little things you said -- or did to your significant other after he wronged you in some way, shape or form? And you must admit that some of those tales are downright frightening. Listen, there's nothing wrong with getting angry or even arguing; In, fact, it's healthy! Holding anger inside -- only allows it to fester until it erupts in self-destructive ways. Women should control their anger -- And not let it control them.

8. Disrespecting Him.

Whatever you care to call it (dissin, putting in check, low-rating, fronting-off, downing) all the names stand for is 'Disrepect'. Majority of men complained about -- that they get no respect from the workplace -- from society, even from the women in their lives. Men say; We're not affirmed. We're not looked at at as positive, as powerful. We're not looked at as men. We're looked at as cheaters, we can't be trusted... every negative.

If women and men are to engage in healthy, loving union; Mutual respect is a must. Women have to find effective, loving and affirming ways of getting their point across to their men. If, a man does something displeasing to a woman; She should wait until she's cooled off -- then privately discuss it with him -- which means not in front of his "Buddies" or her "Girlfriends". And what they discuss between them... should stay between them. Anger should never give a woman a license for disrespect.

9. Accepting Abusive Behavior.

Respecting a man doesn't mean a woman has to be his doormat. No matter how handsome he looks, how important he is, and how many bouquets of roses he sends to you after one of his "episodes"; Under no circumstances should you put up with either physical or emotional abuse. Bumps abd bruises heal -- yet emotional scares may last a life-time. Women should neither make excuses for his abuse nor believe that something they did or said is to blame for his violence. It's okay to still love your mates -- (yet leave them when their safety and peace of mind becomes jeopardized. Better to be alone and alive).

10. Losing Yourself.

Women often find themselves in relationships that are so self-absorbing -- that they no longer have time for family, friends or themselves. When men and women start relationships with each other, they both mat shut-off ties with everyone else "They unrealistically tend to believe that this person is going to fulfill every need we have." He says; "He's going to be my lover, my best friend, I can talk to him about anything." Is it fair that the boyfriend -- or the spouse, should fulfill all those needs, all of those roles?

Also, some women love their men to death. This good intentioned women spends practically every minute of her time doting over hime -- attending to his every need -- spoiling him rotten. Listen closely "Women Must Learn to Love Themselves First!" When you do this -- it gives you space to love your partner.

Resources:

Get Your Ex-Back with the "Ex Factor" The #1 Ex Back System Online". Click here now for more information!

"Obsession Phrases Dating Secrets" Say These Words and Make any Man's Heart Beat, Bang & Hammer for Attraction for You!

"300 Creative Dates" - The Worlds Most Romantic, Unique And Fun Dating Ideas - For Singles Or Married Couples. Click here now for details

"His Secret Obsession" - Incredible Video, Click Here to Watch FREE Now!

Nov 5, 2018

The Danger Of Online Dating; Be Safe And Know What Troubles Might Exist Before Joining A Dating Website

Are you aware of the danger of on-line dating? If you response is "no"! do not fret. The reality is many people don't realize that online dating websites do have a dangerous side to them that is not as extensively discussed, as it ought to be. Besides if you're going to one of those internet dating services with the hopes of meeting Mr. or Ms. Right you need to know the illegal task that can and also does occur. These threats of on-line dating websites consist of --yet are not restricted to: scams, privacy and also safety, stalking, identity theft, exposure to offensive pictures and scamming.

Fraudulence can accompany an on the internet dating site that is a complete scam from the start. Commonly this entails taking an individuals cash without giving the services they spent for or anticipated from the online dating service. It can also occur between individuals that have actually made an on-line connection if there is a transfer of funds from one participant to the other.

Personal privacy and also security problems occur with online dating sites when the personal privacy of people that have joined to make use of the Internet dating website is launched or gone against. Safety and security concerns can happen of the dating service allows non listed members the chance or means to see the exclusive information of registered customers.

Stalking is a problem both offline and also online yet it can be compounded by an online dating website if an individual becomes cyberstalked or pestered by a person they originally believed was going to become a romantic companion, possible life companion or true love.

I'm sure you're currently familiar with identity theft. The truth is clear--when somebody ends up being a target of identification theft constantly. On-line dating sites could expose its members to the possibility of identity theft if the dating website is hacked or if it discloses too much personal info between authorized members. Constantly make sure you protect any personal info you don't desire released by not disclosing it on an online dating website registration forum.

One major trouble that has actually proliferated with the surge of on-line dating sites and services is the abundance of offensive material that can be discovered online. There are numerous forms of salacious product from nude images of registered members to the more perverse as well as twisted material, which is way too obscene to discuss in this short article.

The last threat of on the internet dating includes the control of details where signed up members lie concerning their age, gender as well as various other personal details with the hopes of scamming another signed up online dating participant.

In order to counter that many risks of online dating always guard your info, take it slow, develop a true online partnership first as well as always approach each person you meet with an online dating website with care as you never know if they are trying a rip-off of some types.

Resources:

"Obsession Phrases Dating Secrets" Say These Words and Make any Man's Heart Beat, Bang & Hammer for Attraction for You! Click here now!

"His Secret Obsession" - Incredible Video, Click Here to Watch FREE Now!

"Get Your Back with EX Factor The #1 Ex Back System Online". Click here now for more information!

Nov 2, 2018

Are You Unwittingly Dating a Married Man?

A family man from Long Island, NY recently made headlines when he was arrested for posing an U.S. marshal to get dates. Married for 17 years with 2 teenaged youngsters, this guy utilized a web chatroom called Long Island Over 40, to lure at least 11 women into relationships under the pretense of being a single man. One woman also conceived with his kid. Had he not been posing a UNITED STATE marshall, his dating duplicity may have never ever been revealed.

Dating Deception is Typical

Regrettably, dating deception is all too  typical. Married men often masquerade as single guys. Although there are web sites particularly for married men who intend to cheat, numerous cheating partners troll chat rooms as well as online dating sites trying to find single females on whom to prey. It's not simply online; this dating deceptiveness happens in offline locations also. A surprising number of the guys you meet at clubs, bars, house parties and in other social setups, are married-- not single, as they claim to be. If you're a single lady looking for a dedicated partner, the last thing you want is to find out is that you're dating a married man that's unfaithful on his other half.

Signs You're Dating a Married Man

With so much deceptiveness taking place, single females need all the help they can -- when it comes to identifying a married man that wants to play games. The 6 indications listed below are things you you need to reconize "You Could Be Dating a Married Man." It gives guidelines on exactly how to tell the phony bachelors from the truly single males.

o He only provides you his telephone cell number -- so you can't call him in your home.

o He calls you at weird times - in the morning or in the "Wee hrs" of the evening.

o He's not available on weekends, holidays, or other times when his wife could be about.

o He's overly deceptive concerning his friends and family.

o He rejects to provide you his residence address or inform you specifically where he lives.

o When he opens his wallet to pay the check, you spot a family members picture with wife and kids.

By recognizing as well as avoiding married men the dating pool, you can stay clear of unneeded headaches and heartaches. These are just a few simple guidelines you can arm yourself with -- to weed out the Fake married men, acting like their single.

Resources:

"His Secret Obsession" - Incredible Video, Click Here to Watch FREE Now!

"Obsession Phrases Dating Secrets" Say These Words and Make any Man's Heart Beat, Bang & Hammer for Attraction for You!

"Get Your Back with EX Factor The #1 Ex Back System Online". Click here now for more information!

Who Is Ms.~ Mr. Right Anyway?

Of course you want to fall in love; But, like many singles -- you despair of finding that (right one). You may have some idea of your perfe...