We've probably all known someone who was with one of these commitment phobic guys who just didn't want to settle down yet he ended up getting married shortly after the relationship with our friend ended. What's up with that?
The truth is that many people, yes that means women too, who seem like they would never settle down just were waiting for the right person.
Few people are going to admit to the person they are in a relationship with that the person they are with is only a convenience. But that is exactly what happens more times than not.
We find ourselves in a relationship and while it isn't bad we know in our hearts that it isn't the relationship we really want to be in. So, we go along and we enjoy as much of it as we can but all the while we are waiting to meet that special someone.
Most of us don't do this consciously, but we do it. So, the men and commitment issues that you have dated in the past were more than likely just not sure about the relationship in general.
To lessen the impact of this type of misunderstanding on your emotional well being, why not keep your eyes open for the signs?
There are almost always indications that this type of situation is going on. If you can train yourself to spot them early you can either end the relationship right then and there or, at least, make sure you don't get in over your head emotionally.
Here are some things to keep your eyes open for:
1. If he just doesn't seem to want to talk about the future... even in kind of vague terms. This is always tricky because most of us don't want to bring up future plans too early in the relationship for fear we will scare someone off.
Yet, if we wait too long we may be emotionally invested and then find out they aren't interested in anything long term.
This is the reason I always think the "talk" should happen early in a relationship, though, you do have to be careful how you come across. You want to make sure that the conversation is kind of generic if you have it early in the relationship.
It's much better to say something like "I want to get married and have kids in the future" rather than "I think you're the "one" and I want to spend the rest of my life with you even though we just met".
Have the talk, just be careful how you go about it.
2. Does the person you are dating have a long list of exes? If so, they may have some commitment issues. True, these issues may go away when they find the "one" but are you willing to take that chance?
I can't stand stereotypes especially if they are used to describe me. I am an individual and want to be treated that way. I suspect most people do and men and commitment issues would feel the same way. Get to know the guy and just because you aren't his "one" don't stereotype him as a commitment phobe.
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