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When Your Partner Hides Purchases and Lies About Spending

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Discovering your partner is hiding purchases, lying about spending, or secretly shopping? Learn why financial deception destroys trust, how to confront it, and whether the relationship can recover. ⚠️ Important Relationship Advice Disclaimer: This content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered professional relationship counseling, therapy, or mental health advice. Relationship dynamics are highly individual and complex, involving unique personal histories, attachment patterns, mental health considerations, and interpersonal dynamics that require personalized professional guidance. The information provided here does not constitute professional counseling or therapy and should not be relied upon as a substitute for qualified mental health care. If you are experiencing relationship distress, mental health challenges, patterns of unhealthy relationships, or emotional difficulties, please consult with a licensed therapist, relationship counselor, ...
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Salve for the Pain from Breaking Up

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The sting at the end of a relationship leaves many people lost and floundering. In the haze of pain, one can wonder if they will every come out the other side whole even if they have suffered heartbreaks in the past. Those in pain need a course of action where they feel progress being made dealing with what they went through and becoming a better person at the other end. Let's look at some steps for moving forward. Take Time Away Even the most resilient people require time to let the hurt of a break up subside. The initial days and weeks magnify the pain one is feeling. An important thing for everyone to do at this point is taking a step away from things and granting themselves permission to feel the pain. Like a seed planted in the ground, buried pain rises to spread its vines throughout a person's life and future relationships. A hurt person will want to be well as soon as possible. A quick resolution becomes less of a catharsis and more of a burial. Keep Busy with Oth...
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Blocks to Building Trust

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Trust in relationships mimic a web created with tiny strands and decisions. Knowing the right time move forward or reweave a certain section proves tricky. Couples need a solid plan establishing the foundation and building from their base. Countless people believe they know every aspect regarding trust. If this were true, few relationships would end over broken trust. With that in mind, couples must take into account more than trite ideals. Communicate Couples seeking deeper trust, even when starting out, must communicate with one another. Often this seems far too easy. When asked what they do well, both members of the pair typically say they possess a great handle on communicating. The strict law of averages will tell anyone not every person has the keen grasp on communication they believe they do. This means everyone, no matter what they believe, needs to work on their skills. * Listen: The cornerstone of trust involves taking in the information of the other person and must c...
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Three Reasons Guys Are Not Committing

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The classic stereotype casts the woman in the role of the relational pursuer and the man as dragging his feet. In several movies, the put upon girlfriend eternally waits for the pending proposal from the boyfriend with his list of lame excuses. The thin reasons may be pointless vows or a magical spell causing him to only speak in gibberish. These examples resonate because they feel real from both sides. The guy clings to what he views as valid reasons. The lady struggles to understand while still seeking his affection. What if there was not a lame reason? What if valid, emotional reasons existed for the guy? Would this be easier to accept? The reasons might not speak to the woman, but one cannot deny everyone has reasons for the way they behave. Most people never fully grasp what they are feeling or why they act the way they do. Once determined, the other party becomes free to evaluate the reason to assess if they wish to remain waiting for changes in the situation. Always Looki...
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Guide to a Successful Relationship

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If you’ve ever been through a breakup or divorce, you may be a little gun-shy about your next serious relationship. You’re suddenly second guessing yourself and every decision that you make. It can be exhausting and a little (lot) frightening to consider starting over with someone new. What if the same things happen? What if the problems your last relationship had were all your fault and you bring them to the new relationship? What can you do to start your new relationship off on the right foot? Are there any strategies that you can use to help your new, fledgling relationship find its way towards lasting romance? If you want to help your relationship start (and stay) strong, here are some Dos and Don’ts to get you going. Do Make new friends (but keep the old). The Girl Scouts have it right – you need to keep your girls around. Just because you have a new relationship in your life, you don’t have to get rid of your old friendships. Friends add color, stability and flavor to yo...
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Sex and Fidelity

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Let’s face it: casual sex is everywhere. Sitcoms on television glorify the idea of sleeping with the boyfriend/girlfriend of the week, fiction books glamorize affairs and one-night stands, musicians pen ballads about the wonders of relationships based on physical attraction. Sex between consenting adults is perfectly accepted in society, until it happens between your spouse and another consenting adult. Suddenly that barroom pick-up line song takes on a whole new meaning when confronted with the reality that your spouse picked someone else up and took them home for their own episode of casual sex. Sex is (and should be) a sacred part of marriage. Imagine if these were the vows during a wedding ceremony: "I, (insert name), take you (spouse’s name) to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to love you, and cherish you, and will be faithful to you until I find someone more attractive. Then, I will probably have sex with them, but will still love you and cherish you. I may find ...
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When the Smoke Clears

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After an affair has been discovered and the initial shock has worn off, there is a sense of helplessness that the offended spouse goes through. Similar to stages of grief, there is a time of shock, anger, mourning and disbelief. In a sense you are mourning the breakdown of a relationship – and what happens from here will be up to you. So what’s next? What do you do after the initial horror? Sometimes what you SHOULDN’T do is just as important as what you do. Don’t: • Make revolutionary decisions about the state of your marriage . The day you discover an affair is not the day to call a divorce lawyer – although you will certainly be tempted to get one on retainer. Spend some time letting the raw emotions settle before deciding one way or another. • Stop taking care of yourself. A couple of days drowning your sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s is not going to be the end of the world. A couple of months with Cherry Garcia and not only is your marriage in trouble, so is your he...
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After the Breakup

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By the time when a relationship gets to the point of ending, typically one person in the relationship has already worked through the stages of heartache. In most cases, this person is the one who ends the relationship. They tend to recover from the loss of the relationship sooner – making them appear as though they aren’t mourning the loss. In fact, they may have already been through the grieving process – mourning the relationship’s end before it actually ended. For the person who was left, it may seem as though you are the only one upset over the breakup, when in fact ending a relationship can be devastating to both people involved. The loss of a relationship can be worse than a death in many ways. A death has a sense of finality, while the end of a relationship can seem less permanent. When a relationship ends, you will go through several stages of recovery. Everyone progresses through them at different times and in different ways, but generally before you can experience a new ...
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