How to Save a Marriage or Relationship From Catastrophe...

We all want healthy relationships, but how do we go about finding the right person so that we can have a great relationship? Well, to tell you the truth, it might be easier to tell you what not to do, than what to do if you want a great loving relationship. Of course, we want all the relationships we enter into to be healthy, not just the romantic ones. We want good relationships with friends, families, children, siblings, etc, but for the purpose of this article I'm going to concentrate on the romantic variety of relationships (though much of this advice will work for other types of relationships too), People make a lot of mistakes on their quest for love. They overlook very obvious signs of trouble in the beginning. Its' much easier to end a relationship when you start to see signs that the person you're involved with isn't really right for you, early in the relationship. The further the relationship progresses, and the deeper the feelings become, the harder it is...

I know you've heard it so often that it probably sounds like a cliche, but effective communication in relationships is the number 1 way to make sure that your good relationship stays good. It's not just about being able to talk about your problems, it's also about being able to share your hopes, dreams and goals and letting the other person know how much you care. It never ceases to amaze me when people are on the phone with their spouse how they'll end the conversation with a casual 'love you too'. I'm not saying that's bad, but I am saying that this 'habit' is just one example of how we think that we're telling our partner how we feel when we're really not. It's way too easy to say what you're expected to say with no real meaning behind the words. We all do it. That is at the basis for poor communication skills in a relationship. If I asked one hundred people if they talk to their spouse as openly and candidly as they do the...

Regaining trust in a relationship is going to be an uphill climb. I'm not saying that it can't be done, I'm just saying that you better be willing to put in some serious time and effort if that's what you want. If you're not, you might as well walk away right now and save both of you a lot of extra pain. Of course, there are many reasons trust can be lost. Sometimes it's fairly 'small' like when your spouse belittles you in front of others. Other times it can be even worse such as in the case of infidelity. This can be virtually impossible to overcome. If you're willing to try, step one is to figure out what you did to break the trust in the first place. Obviously, if it was infidelity that will be pretty clear. But if it was something a little less extreme like ridiculing your partner or making fun of them all the time, it might take some digging to figure out why you felt the need to hurt the one person you're supposed to love above everyon...

If you're to the point that you're asking how you can save your marriage, I'm sorry. I know how painful this type of situation can be. I also know that it may not be too late and it's often not as hard as you may think to revive a dying relationship. It's not rocket science, actually if you can remove the emotion (I know, easier said than done) then it's much easier in a lot of cases than you may realize. Just remember that pretty much everyone wants the same basic things from a marriage: companionship, love and respect. How we go about asking for those things, or showing those things, can vary from culture to culture and among genders, but that's pretty much it. Most of the time when a marriage is falling apart it's because one or both of the spouses don't feel like their needs are being met. We often boil marriage troubles down to sex, but sex is really only a 'by product' of the basic need to feel loved. So, step one to pull your mar...

From the desk of: Terry Clark I got this email from one of my readers, who will remain nameless; because I respect their privacy. I just wanted to share with you what he wrote and the experience he had in his own relationship - "Sometimes We're Just In the Wrong Relationship With The Wrong Person"     Like a lot of people, I'm in my second marriage. The first one (I married the same person twice... duh) ended in divorce. When people said they were sorry about the divorce I couldn't help but think "don't be sorry, it's long overdue". The marriage was not good. This time, though, I made a much better choice with my spouse, and this time I'm happy to say that this is one of the most successful relationships I've ever had. People wonder how they can have a successful relationship. There are all kinds of doctors and writers who are more than willing to share the 'secrets' to having good relationships, if you buy their books. I...

Building trust in a relationship can take time, it can take even more time rebuilding that trust a second time. I mean, come on, face facts, the first time around you give someone a really big benefit of the doubt. If they make a promise to you it takes a real leap of faith to let yourself open up and trust them, but if they break that trust, it can be almost impossible to do it again. The reason for that is simple: they've already proven through their words or actions that they can't be trusted. The first time around you had no way of knowing one way or the other, but now you do. Now you know that they can't be trusted, why in the world would you set yourself up for that kind of hurt and pain again? That is why it's so difficult to overcome any kind of cheating in a relationship. You know the old saying: "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me", that's the whole point. Few people would take such a big risk of being hurt by letting someon...

If you really want to know how to save your marriage, you need to figure out what the heck being married is all about. Being married is not about remaining independent and doing things only for yourself. It is about sharing everything in your life with that one special person you chose to spend your life with. Too often people get married and then immediately start to think they are in trouble or feel trapped and do not know how to handle these feelings. Then they start to feel guilty because they are having these feelings and mistakenly assume that when you get married you should automatically know how to be married. If you think about it that is just the silliest thing you could do. Question: Did you know how to ride that bike before someone taught you? How about walking and talking? You had to learn that too right? So, what makes you think that you know how to be married? Who taught you how? Oh sure, your parents can be a role model for you but if their relationship wasn't...