It has been said that marriages are about love, while divorces are about money. Like many statements, this is one with elements of truth in it. It misses many parts of the bigger picture, however, as there is often heartbreak, tears, misery, screaming, anger, the husband blaming the wife, the wife blame the husband and both parties blaming themselves involved as well. It can be a turbulent moment in anyone's life, where questions of identity and persona arise on a daily basis.
It can be hard, during a time like this, to keep practical considerations such as finance and money at the forefront of your mind. It's really important that you do exactly that however, as the decisions and choices you make during the next couple of months could end up effecting the next few decades of your life. It's imperative that you keep your head clear during the proceedings, even though that is far easier said than done. Here are some ways to make that impossible task seem a bit more viable.
First of all, get yourself to see a therapist and see them regularly. This sort of professional help is often seen as a sign of weakness, but you need to stop thinking about in terms like these. When you start actually going through any of the court battles, you want your mind as clear as you can get it. It's going to be vital that you have the ability to process what's going on and remain rational and focused during the inevitable arbitration. No matter how well you can keep your feminine composure or tough guy front, there is going to be a few occasions where you're going to want to curl in to the fetal position and sob. It will be much better for you if that's inside a therapist’s office, instead of a judge's.
Next, your going to want to make sure you have a good lawyer handling things. While shopping around, look for law firms that have free consultations and use them to get a feel for some of your options. This is going to be the person who handles many of the details of a highly personal problem. It will be better for your long term sanity if the next six months to a year aren't spent getting the paid help of someone you can't stand. Select a lawyer whose style of thinking and conversation are something compatible with your own. Keep in mind that whoever you hire is going to be in a position to give you difficult advice. Make sure that they're someone you can stand getting it from.
Once you have a lawyer, talk to them about situations that may be unique to your situation. Do you suspect your spouse from hiding large sums of money from you during your marriage?
Then you're going to need a forensic accountant. Have a home that needs to be liquidated? You're going to need someone to appraise that real estate. Talk with your lawyer about the specifics, and he or she will point you in the right direction.
The last thing to do is simply try and relax. Millions of people have filed for
divorce, endured the identity shattering questions it forced them to ask, and survived. Just make sure you focus on maintaining your finances during this tricky and trying time, and you'll have your chance to find your better tomorrow.
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