Movies create the expectation with enough money one can have whatever they want. While this may appear true in a capitalistic society where it seems everything is for sale, the capturing of another person's heart refuses to fall into this category. One needs to avoid the temptation because of false expectations, lack of validity and subtle forms of this behavior place more than a bank account at risk. They weave into a single chain designed to yank the truth of love out of the hands of the person so desperate for its caress.Unsustainable False Expectations:
Love has always been uncontrollable. When someone starts a relationship using their resources to sweep the other person off their feet, a standard is set. Imagine meeting someone who speaks with a flawless accent causing everything they say to drip with honey. After a short time, their partner hears them speaking on the phone with a family member and not using an accent at all. Is this a terrible betrayal? In the grand scheme of things, not really, but it creates a sense of creeping doubt about other things. The same can occur with trying to buy the love of someone.
Also, life is far too unstable to use money or status to impress another person. Markets turn. Businesses fold. And sometimes spent accounts may not regenerate. Think of someone who relies heavily on their appearance and never stretches to increase their level of intellect or compassion. They eventually have to seek where their true value lies. Same for the person who sees monetary support as the only thing they bring to the table.
Knowing the Truth:
The fragility of love means everyone questions how it all fits together. Inherit in this is why the person they are with loves them. When using money to charm another person, the doubt and questions swirl higher and higher like a windstorm ready to tear everything apart.
It might seem this is only a problem for the one spending on their partner. The one being wooed in this manner does have questions lurking in the background of their mind as well. They will wonder why this person behaves the way they do. Doubt will creep into their hearts as to what their true value when they are unable to respond in kind. This creates a pressure which could snap the relationship in two.
Sneaky Ways It Can Happen:
The funny thing about the arrangement is the subtle the forms it may take. Rarely, if ever, does one person write a giant check and purchase the other person's heart. Considered in that light, the prospect sounds like something from a cartoon. But seeing more realistic ways the dynamic plays out shows how anyone is capable regardless of their age, sex and financial standing fall into the trap.
* Gift Shower: Near endless presents for a variety of reasons or no reason at all.
* Paying Debts: Offering or even paying for credit cards, living expenses or traffic tickets without the presence of a strong commitment to moving forward says to the other person "I'm taking care of you" in a possessive way.
* Covering the Check: While chivalrousness at the beginning, couples growing closer begin sharing entertainment and dining costs. Continuing or doing more falls closer to a purchase of love rather than building a partnership.
Love is complicated in the best relationships. With that said, true love is never bought and paid for. Anyone practicing this form of relational building is only getting the portion of the other person's heart by renting time, attention and possibly their affection. Love must grow in the open air by taking care of the other person, investing in them and giving things from a place of genuine care for them. This grants real love a chance moving forward.
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