Everyone faces the eternal question of should one continue pursuing someone or releasing the relationship at some point. The heartache caused by the struggle has less to do with the final decision than the fear of losing the "one that got away." You can end up swirling in an ocean of self doubt. For such reasons, it proves best to assess the situation critically using the past as a guide, the present as a compass and the future as a destination.A Guide
"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."
Couples trapped in endless loops of arguments, unstable behaviors and even the placid stability often lament the state of their relationship. The reason they do this is because they forget about the previous things in the relationship. Seeing what your partner has valued in the past will indicate what he will value moving forward. Risk takers seek excitement. These adventurous souls never entirely become homebodies. They may change for a short period of time and bounce back to their wild ways.
When assessing past behavior, one must take into account what is important to themselves and where their partner overlaps with them. Divergent interests or values bring stress. If you find yourself working at cross purposes, it might be time to say goodbye.
A Compass
Compasses prove great when needing to head in specific direction because they point toward the North Pole. One needs a strong foundation when making a difficult decision, so knowing magnetic north is the most valuable information to possess.
What sorts of things serve as compasses for the relationship?
* How he talks to you: A kind voice may mean he's concerned about hurting your feelings. A sharp tone could demonstrate a loss of patience.
* Interests and desires: Watching where he spends his time, if he includes you and how much they have changed since you have been together. These might point to inclusion or separation.
* Big Issues: A common mantra is how much opposites attract. While it makes for sparks, couples on wildly opposing sides of important things likely end up fighting more than uniting.
The tricky part of dealing with compasses is they can be prone to interference. To combat any confusion, you need to talk to him about these things and possibly qualify what he means in given areas. His tone might have less to do with a lack of concern and more with a long and stressful day. Regardless, these are important indicators.
A Destination
No one ever gets anywhere without knowing where they want to arrive. This seems very basic. Continuing to pursue a relationship means knowing where you want it to end. Do you want a traditional marriage? Are you hoping for an open relationship? Though representing two extremes, moving forward with the right person only happens when you know which of the countless avenues you wish to travel. An important thing to recall is destinations have the freedom to change.
In the end, the hardest part of the decision to end a relationship has far less to do with the one you bond with. The letting go or hanging on requires a far deeper study in what matters to you. The challenge of being honest about what matters, where you are willing to go and how you will get there says far more about you. By doing the hard work, you will know if you need to hold tight or wish them well. So dig deep, check the stars and move toward love.
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