Don't: No corny pick up lines.One-liners may initially get female's interested; however, what are you doing to keep the conversation going?
I commonly get asked by my male customers and friends -- whats the best ways to get a woman to like you. I often ask why first. Why do you intend to date women? If you're just focused on numbers or sex, than you're not getting too many numbers or 2nd dates.
If you're stuck in the on-line dating world and have no idea how to get passed the initial face-to-face, these few tips will help you in some sort of way.
Below are five ideas on how you can speak to women much more easily -- if the fear of approaching one makes you tongue-tied after "Saying hello".
1. Focus on her, not you.
Do not allow anxieties of being rejected or coming close to a woman turn you off from speaking to other women (because this particular one shot you down). If she chooses not to respond to you, it may not be concerning you. It's about her. She possibly isn't really searching for anyone at this time --and has her own insecurities, or isn't just interested.
If you are focusing on what you're going to say next or the thoughts in your head, she will certainly detect the fact that she does not have 100% of your attention. Why? You're way too focused on yourself.
Bottom line, if you're both paying attention to your own thoughts or you get distracted by another thing, then you typically aren't having a conversation with somebody else to begin with!
The simple idea of having to initiate a conversation with other people, let alone a woman, is draining, frightening, and discouraging for an outsider. This isn't bad, it's just the way things are. Simply bear in mind, half of the population are outsider's, so it could be equally tough for women to respond back. It's workable and is most convenient to do when you are doing things that you enjoy doing.
2. Ask open-ended questions.
The difference between a close-ended questions and a open-ended questions is that when you ask a close-ended questions the solution is either yes or no. A open-ended questions utilizes Just what, When, Where, how and also Why, yet the objective behind asking the questions is to elicit someone else's viewpoints, ideas, and feelings.
Prior to you going out the door, create a checklist of 5 or 10 things you could talk about-- be it current events, politics, sports, or a leisure activity-- and be open to paying attention and hearing differing point of views.
3. Be who you are.
We detect nonverbal body language much faster than we register what you're stating. This implies if you are only interested in getting a number to get a date, women recognize this on a natural degree -- before they’ve even responded to what you’ve said.
Something to think about is if you're just curious about getting a number, then most women are not interested in you. Women want to feel unique. Majority of women say; "For us to give you our number or speak to you longer than 2 mins, we need to feel a connection. Even if we're physically attracted to you, this does not indicate we're mosting likely to provide you our contact information".
"If you're calm, being straightforward, as well as genuinely interested about what we think and really feel, then we might let our guard down for the moment to see who you are as an individual too".
4. If you do start walking toward a woman at a bar or club, bring a close friend.
Normally speaking, when women head out to a bar or club, they are going out to spend time with their friends first, and maybe speak with a man if he shows a genuine interest in her.
Women often look to their closes girlfriends to give a thumbs up or down on if a man appears like he's not creepy and deserves a chance. Having a close friend together with you lowers stress and anxiety on both sides, because there's even more to discuss, and don't seem like you're trapping or birthing down on us.
Remember, majority of times women are just getting together to wind down and hang out with friends. Night life is commonly loud and isn't really the best place to have conversations. In some cases women simply want to cut loose and also dance the night away-- that's all. Canvassing other people in fully commited relationships, I have found the majority of them got together outside the night life.
5. Concentrate on being good friend first.
If you are focusing on simply having fun in the moment, this is one way that females begin to open and have time to determine whether they feel like there is chemistry. Asking for a friendly game of darts or shooting pool on teams is enjoyable, we all loosen up at some point -- and in the mean-time learn more about one another a bit while playing.
These suggestions come from life and professional experience. What it boils down to is whether you think you could find somebody compatible with you, and also whether or not you have the skill set of active listening.
Getting outside of your head, any type of insecurities, and also eliminating 'paying attention' blocks is half the battle.
If you're truly thinking about finding datable women, your best bet is not a club or bar, but taking up co-ed hobbies and passions where you see the same females over and over again. This gives you time to get to know each other, establish a relationship, and to see if that relationship can develop into something much more intimate.
Resources:
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