A common truism for couples who have separated is the door on any future romance has been closed. While true in most respects, one does not need to surrender to an inevitable condition when an ex begins dating someone new.Realistic expectations, relational growth and mature friendship must exist if things will return to a place where romance rises again. Seeing these roles for what they truly mean and implementing key changes offer a chance for love.
The Expectation Experiment
People often believe they possess a clear understanding of what they want. Unfortunately, they rarely take into account how their view might be skewed. Several things kick expectations from realistic to unrealistic.
* The End: A blind eye to how the relationship ended may cause either an overly sunny or cloudy view of things.
* A Hard Inward Look: Most individuals find evaluating their part in the end of the relationship too great a challenge.
* Outside Factors: Stress caused by finances, differing worldviews and countless other factors shrink when seeking to reestablish the relationship.
Taking all of this into account, one must spend an adequate amount of time assessing both what happened and their part in the relationship and its dissolution. Those willing to work hard to secure a clear vision will be in a place to take the next step if the relationship can be renewed.
Being Whole and Solid
At the end of a relationship, people can long to rush back into the comfort of any coupling. People may find themselves back in situations seeking unhealthy things for themselves, hurting those they are with or both.
Keeping a clear vision, someone needs to come from a place where they are healthy including the body, mind and heart. This means finding other connections which will prevent their ex from assuming the only reason for their presence is romance. The hardest part of this step centers around genuinely seeing others and not using them to hold a place for the relationship they are waiting for.
A Friendly Foundation
For there to be any chance of a rekindled romantic relationship, a true friendship must exist. The prospect of being friends sounds easy on the surface because of the dynamic affection once existing between the two people. Unfortunately, several small patches lead to perilous pitfalls.
* Can't Be Fake: Pretense of friendship will always be discovered because it cannot be maintained.
* Honest Talk: Good friends share in the ups and downs of one another's life and hearing about growing love stabs deep into the softest places.
* Willing Joy: More than hearing alone, a friend will cultivate the happiness of the other selflessly, even when they are not the source of joy.
Only from a place of honest friendship can one hope to return to the deep held place of love in the heart of a former lover. This bears out because you will demonstrate your care for them. By witnessing it first hand, they may be warmed beyond what once existed.
This process will never be easy because it requires a strength and selflessness most people would prefer never to test. But then love is often the sweetest when borne through sacrifice, honesty and care. Being that for someone allows for old wounds to be healed and a future to flourish.
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