Skip to main content

Marriage Counseling Questions - Why Are You Here

What questions are the most common marriage counseling questions your therapist will ask you during your sessions? Probably the most important question you will be asked is, "Why are you here?" Now , you might think to yourself that the answer to this question is a big, "DUH!" But, the therapist cannot hear you think and needs to find out exactly why you have come to see them to formulate a plan to help the two of you specific to your issues.

Problems can rear their ugly heads at any time during a relationship and sometimes can cause such stress and strife that you just have no clue as to how to handle them. These are the times when a counselor can be helpful. Instead of thinking that the relationship is over it is best to get another opinion and try to save the marriage.

Once the issues are out in the open, your therapist will ask more marriage counseling questions like, "Which issue do you think you need to start working on first to help save the marriage?" The two of you may have different issues that you deem most important and the counselor may suggest that they see the two of you separately for a time and then bring you both together for couples counseling.

When the two of you are brought together to talk to each other you will be monitored closely by the therapist and will be required to follow some ground rules. The therapist will tell you to try hard not to play the blame game. This may be difficult to do especially if the biggest issue you have as a couple is some form of infidelity.

Most marriages do not survive infidelity. More power to you if you think you can forgive and forget and work though it. Coming out the other side better for the experience is very difficult to accomplish and I have just one thing to say. Good luck, you will need it.

You may ask your therapist if they think that the marriage can be saved. They will be able to give you a better answer to that question once they get to know you and your spouse and the severity of the problems between you. If you are willing to do the work, anything is possible.

Your counselor will help you wade through all the clutter that has built up over time and get right down to the nitty gritty of what is really the issue causing all the trouble in your relationship. This is important because if there are long-standing problems then you may not even know or remember what started it all and there can be a lot of confusion about the real reason there is trouble.

Sometimes asking tough marriage counseling questions is the only way to get down to the root cause of the trouble in your marriage and also the only way to repair a broken relationship. So be prepared to take a good long look at yourself and your spouse and your relationship.

Comments

Dean said…
Both partners need to be committed to the process of counseling for it to work properly. If just one is committed, the counselor is just spinning wheels.
November 22, 2010 at 9:41 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reignite Your Burned Out Relationship

Learning how to win love back may be able to reignite a burned out relationship. Love is a truly fickle emotion that can burn out just as quickly and suddenly as it was originally ignited. When outside factors, such as money for example, create stress in a relationship that love is most at risk. Once relationship problems become an issue, love can quickly deteriorate with no resolution in sight. Here are some basic strategies that will show you how to win love back: 1.   Be Honest - Distrust is one of the leading causes of problems in a relationship . It is extremely important that you are honest with your partner on every possible level, even in situations where the truth is painful. This means that you need to be upfront with things that are bothering you, and you also need to be open about every day activities like finances and how you are doing at work. No one likes to feel like they constantly have to watch over their significant other, so if you want to learn how to win...
3 comments
Read more

Life After Infidelity; You Decide If You Can Save Your Marriage or Not

A marriage is a very important and sacred pact between two people. We are raised to believe that once those vows are taken we can trust our spouse for the rest of our lives. However this does not always go as we might hope. Since none of us are able to read minds we can never truly know someone. On top of that people change over time, so the person you fell in love with may be someone entirely different today. Even if you both love each other, times change and you might grow bored with the same old routine. This is the reason for most affairs, one spouse simply grows tired of the dull routine and wants to try something different. While it is far from acceptable it is understandable and understanding is the first step to healing your marriage. While a lot of people would end their marriage after this act of betrayal, people often still love each other and might want to salvage their relationship even after this mistake. But how can you trust them ever again after they back stabb...
1 comment
Read more

Sharing is Loving, Loving is sharing - Your Hopes, Fears and Dreams

Talking is one way to share thoughts and feelings between partners.  Research has shown that women actually talk more than men,  in fact about three times more in terms of the number of words. This fact does not excuse men to from not talk.  It is the men who “clam up” and refuse to talk.  There are also cases where men who do more talking   than women, just as there are cases where it is the women who talk a lot  as well as those women who do not wish to talk a lot.  There is actually no clear cut or fool proof way to judge who should do more of the talking or who should do less.  It is primarily not about gender but about the individual themselves. Communication is a vital part of any relationship.  Openness and honesty is a key ingredient to maintaining a kind of memorable relationship that is mutually loving and emotionally comfortable. The following are tips and possible activities one can do to get yourself or your partner to ta...
2 comments
Read more