There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: "I'm sorry" and/or "I was wrong". Neither one will mean a thing if they aren't sincere. The first thing you have to do to heal your relationship is to be a man and own up to your part in the problems.
Many men seem to think that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. If you think about it, one of the hardest things you will ever do is to admit you were wrong and that you caused someone else's pain, especially someone you love. That is a hard thing to do. So apologizing isn't a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of being a man and being strong.
In some ways it might seem easier to just bury your feelings and don't admit that you were wrong or that you are in pain. Again, a very manly thing to do. But is it? While that might be the first thing many men will do, it's not the easiest in the long run. If you bury those feelings you will never truly be free of them. They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it. No matter how painful it is you need to face them and get over them once and for all. That's the only real way you can have peace for the rest of your life.
So if you want to heal your relationship you need to honestly access your part in the breakdown of the relationship. Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?
There's a seen in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting. She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up. She said to him " I want you to want to do the dishes" and, of course, his response was "Why would I want to help you do the dishes"? A valid question. Sort of.
I doubt that character really thought she wanted him to want to do the dishes. What she really wanted was for him to understand that she was tired and wanted to relax too. She wanted him to show his appreciation of all she does by helping her and taking some of the burden off of her shoulders.
Are you guilty of pretending to be 'stupid'. Pretending like you don't really know what your wife wants? Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie. They know what their wife is trying to say, they just choose to pretend like they don't because it seems easier than actually helping. It's selfish. And it will lead to long term problems. This all goes back to what I was talking about above: making your wife feel appreciated.
The good news is that if you've made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man. You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect. I don't claim to know it all, but I can say I do know want my wants and expects of me - Do You? Try this advice on healing your relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your marriage or relationship but improve it too.
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