Life gets in the way of relationships. There is no two ways around that. Unfortunately we are all guilty of taking our loved ones for granted. We can spend time sorting out our kids problems, our friends problems perhaps even those of our work colleagues only to arrive home in a heap exhausted. We often assume that our partner can read our mind and know that we love and care about them.
But no matter how secure someone is, if they constantly feel or are made to feel that they belong at the bottom of a very long list of priorities, they may leave. Feelings of resentment can grow over time and become rather like a snowball - small to start but soon takes on huge proportions.
The first step would be to arrange a night where both of you are free to concentrate 100% on your relationship. Get a sitter for the kids and head out somewhere for the evening. If you pick a public place, you are less likely to let your resentments boil over into an argument.
Agree that both of you want this relationship to work and reassure each other that you are committed to your partnership. Arrange a series of date nights - these nights are for you two as a couple. You could each write out a list of what you would like to try in the relationship be it a night at the Opera or a particular technique in the bedroom. Then take turns trying to fulfil the other person's wishes.
In addition to the lists of treats you would like, you also should make a list of all that you enjoy about the relationship and then a list of the problem areas as you each see them.
Spending time together away from the hassles of real life will help you to rediscover the magic that brought you together. Sharing the above lists will help you to realize what you have and what you need to work on.
Now it could be easy for one party to become offended at what is written down. You both need to know that this exercise has been done solely to increase the satisfaction level in your relationship not to knock the other person's confidence or blame them for the problems. Try not to become defensive but listen to both the good parts and the bad. Try not to go to bed on an argument as unresolved conflict can cause more resentment. Showing love and appreciation goes a long way believe me.
By encouraging open communication and time for each other you should find that your commitment to each other becomes stronger and your friends will soon be asking you for advice on how to save a relationship.
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