Skip to main content

Define The Relationship To Save Your Relationship


If you want to have a healthy relationship, you need to define the relationship. One of the biggest reasons that relationships have problems is because both people in the relationship have different expectations and assumptions about what kind of relationship they're in.

Frankly, if you think you're on the road to marriage and happily ever after and your boyfriend or girlfriend thinks that's what you have is a nice light fling, you are going to have problems. Hurt emotions, broken hearts and generally misery tend to lie in the future for people who fail to define the relationship they're in.

The problem is that everyone, and I mean everyone, tends to think of everything they do as normal. This is a problem because there is no such thing as normal. Every person is a unique bundle of needs, fears, and desires. The strengths and weaknesses that make us who we are make the need to define the relationship essential.

Whether we realize it or not, we are all using ourselves as the baseline for behavior. This means that on some very essential levels, we assume that other people want what we want, feel what we feel. Most of us are aware that this isn't the case on a conscious level, but it's hard to put this into action all the time.

As long as things seem to be going okay, we have a tendency to let this go on more and more. After all, when they seem happy and you seem happy, there's no reason to examine your assumptions and expectations. Most of us only do that when things have gone wrong in a relationship.

This why the need to define the relationship early on is so great. Because other people are, well, other people. They may be happy in the relationship, but they may be happy for different reasons. If you let this go too far, you may be setting yourself up for resentment and pain.

By taking the time to define the relationship, you are taking the reins in the relationship. You will be able to see where you are and where you are heading. This will allow you to have a healthier, stronger relationship because you will both be pulling in the same direction rather than going off in two different emotional directions until the strain on the relationship is so great that it breaks.

The problem with taking action to define the relationship is that it's not the comfortable path to take. The conversations can be awkward, and there's always an element of fear that the two of you will have such radically different expectations and goals that the relationship may end.

These are false worries, for the most part. You need to look at the effort to define the relationship as being exercise for your relationship: it may be tough and the time and there's a small chance that you may get injured, but the truth is that it will almost always make the relationship better and stronger.

If you need help in figuring out what you need to do to define the relationship, there is loads of help available. This is one of the best things you can do to build a strong relationship, and it is well worth the effort.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wife Abandonment Syndrome | When Thе husband Says He's Leaving You

Ten Hallmarks оf Wife Abandonment Syndrome 1. Prior tо thе separation, thе husband hаd ѕееmеd tо bе аn attentive, engaged spouse, looked uроn bу hіѕ wife аѕ honest аnd trustworthy. 2. Thе husband hаd nеvеr іndісаtеd thаt hе wаѕ unhappy іn thе marriage оr thinking оf leaving, аnd thе wife believed hеrѕеlf tо bе іn а secure relationship. 3. Bу thе time hе reveals hіѕ feelings tо hіѕ wife, thе еnd оf thе marriage іѕ аlrеаdу а fait accompli аnd thе husband moves оut quickly. 4. Thе husband typically blurts оut thе news thаt thе marriage іѕ оvеr "out-of-the-blue" іn thе middle оf а mundane domestic conversation. 5. Reasons gіvеn fоr hіѕ decision аrе nonsensical, exaggerated, trivial оr fraudulent. 6. Thе husband











Figure оut whаt hіѕ wife isn't dоіng right. Men nееd tо feel masculine. Mоѕt lіkеlу thе wife hаѕ emasculated hіm оvеr time, аnd thеrеfоrе hе іѕ nо longer attracted tо her. Thеrе аrе а lot оf articles аnd books оn whаt thіѕ means. Dо уоur homework tо find оut hоw tо mа…

Three Areas Pointing to the End of a Relationship

Every couple longs for eternity. Unfortunately, forever challenges all couples regardless of how they started, what they have survived and the best of intentions. Being able to spot when things are coming off the rails in a relationship will allow everyone to assess what needs to be done to salvage it and if they wish to invest the time.

Area One: Communication

Communication is held up as the best barometer for telling the status of a relationship. Part of this stems from how pervasive an aspect of the whole relationship communication turns out to be. So how can a couple tell if trouble is brewing in the arena of communication?

All Is Quiet: Long, uncomfortable silences charged with tension define the time spent together. This may occur because one of the pair feels no desire to expend the energy to engage in healthy communication.

Swimming in the Shallow End: When discussions happen, the topics remain light or non threatening. Short and unemotional answers replace detailed explanations …

Sharing is Loving, Loving is sharing - Your Hopes, Fears and Dreams

Talking is one way to share thoughts and feelings between partners.  Research has shown that women actually talk more than men,  in fact about three times more in terms of the number of words.

This fact does not excuse men to from not talk.  It is the men who “clam up” and refuse to talk.  There are also cases where men who do more talking   than women, just as there are cases where it is the women who talk a lot  as well as those women who do not wish to talk a lot.  There is actually no clear cut or fool proof way to judge who should do more of the talking or who should do less.  It is primarily not about gender but about the individual themselves.

Communication is a vital part of any relationship.  Openness and honesty is a key ingredient to maintaining a kind of memorable relationship that is mutually loving and emotionally comfortable.

The following are tips and possible activities one can do to get yourself or your partner to talk his/her heart out, and share voluntarily any fear…