People tend to categorize things into binary sides of a page. Doing so means they need to expend less effort in decoding how they feel, understand the impact a decision may have or judge the response of others to their actions. This behavior exists in several areas, not the least of which is emotions. Ask people to come up with lists of good and bad feelings and the common denominators will form. On the bad side of the page, emotions like anger, covetousness and jealousy will likely be in the top three.Understanding each emotion contains a wide range of reasons for its existence. Looking back over time, not every expression of anger proved to be negative. Even jealousy provides positives aspects within a relationship. One needs to be open to the exploration of what they feel to see how jealousy can be channeled in a beneficial direction. Let's see three up sides of jealousy.
Jealousy as a Fence:
Being attuned to the indications of jealous demonstrates healthy boundaries within a particular relationship. Couples with open communication are able to share what they need, how a partner or their own jealousy makes them feel and potential damage caused by manifestations of jealousy. Only by talking about it can couples identify the healthy boundaries of the emotion. Without discussion, jealousy morphs into an insidious beast tearing at the tender parts of a relationship.
Jealousy as a Carrot:
Everyone requires motivation. Sometimes the carrot leading the to the reward can be positive to reinforce a behavior. However, people are equally motivated by unproductive behaviors. Jealousy can bring about change for the better. How is this possible? Consider the following:
* Caring Expressions: Jealousy, though charged with underlying passion, may cause partners to be too rough. Seeing the fallout will motivate tempered expressions of love.
* Fiery Attention: Cultivating deep care keeps the molten aspects of jealousy from burning a partner. A challenge arises when only the raw jealousy comes out.
* Witnessing an Alternate View: Jealousy is triggered by a party outside the relationship. This allows for a fresh perspective and reminder of the things drawing one to their partner to begin with.
Jealousy as a Compass Needle:
A famous quotes regarding clarity center around the simplicity needed as a foundation. Almost nothing distills an idea into its simplest form like white hot emotions like jealousy. Couples can see what really matters when one or both of them succumb to the power of their jealousy. Once they know the direction they need to travel, they can set the destructive aspects of jealousy aside preventing it from poisoning the relationship beyond repair.
All emotions, whether traditionally lauded or vilified, possess the potential to help and hurt relationships. Communications in all areas presents the ideal foil to deflate the damage presented by rampant jealousy. Partners must balance what they feel against the truth presented by their existing relationship. They can utilize the boundaries, motivations and directions offered by jealousy. Success only comes to fruition when couples grow together with an awareness toward their own shortcomings without being crippled by them.
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