Dec 16, 2017

Three Areas Pointing to the End of a Relationship

Every couple longs for eternity. Unfortunately, forever challenges all couples regardless of how they started, what they have survived and the best of intentions. Being able to spot when things are coming off the rails in a relationship will allow everyone to assess what needs to be done to salvage it and if they wish to invest the time.

Area One: Communication

Communication is held up as the best barometer for telling the status of a relationship. Part of this stems from how pervasive an aspect of the whole relationship communication turns out to be. So how can a couple tell if trouble is brewing in the arena of communication?

All Is Quiet: Long, uncomfortable silences charged with tension define the time spent together. This may occur because one of the pair feels no desire to expend the energy to engage in healthy communication.

Swimming in the Shallow End: When discussions happen, the topics remain light or non threatening. Short and unemotional answers replace detailed explanations of troubles at work or pleasant things noted in the world.

Explosive Endings: If deeper conversational topic arise, couples on the brink devolve in to yelling and name calling rather than pursuing the underlying issue. It is often surprising how much energy those who want to fight can find.

Area Two: Affection

Affection takes many forms. Some of the most obvious center around the physical. While a good space to begin the search, couples concerned about the health of their relationship need to look beyond the easiest to disguise. Couple in failing relationships may seek physical pleasure when nothing else works.

Loss of Physicality: Outside of intimate physicality, couples nearing the end find no comfort or pleasure in the touch of one another. They are less likely to hold hands, hug, kiss or snuggle. These little gestures demonstrate how far apart they are.

Inequality of Time: Healthy couples spend time with one another and apart. Conversely, unhealthy relations tip towards more time apart. It can have reasonable explanations, but the separation shows how disconnected the partners are.

No Kind Acts: Recalling a time where love bloomed and blossomed, these couples may have made a cup of tea, offered a foot rub or other gestures just because. Every couple, even the harried, need to reach out in special ways. If such things evaporate, the couple needs to be concerned.

Area Three: Future

Couples nearing the end report findings themselves on a relational treadmill from which they cannot remove themselves. Seasons of staleness in long relationships are natural for a brief period and all couples face them. As thing wind down, one or both of the partners see no future with this person. They might even begin planning for life without the other person. Such behavior might manifest as searching for apartments in another area of the city, applying for work in another region or living a separate life. A couple not growing toward a future together, in some form or fashion, dies where they stand.

When the end comes, being honest and having a talk can be the hardest thing to do. Couples would prefer not acknowledge this because of feeling like failure or not knowing what is next. Ultimately, things ending respectfully eases the transition to the next phase. Everyone would rather feel strong and healthy moving forward, so have the talk.

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Dec 13, 2017

Can Marriage Restoration Work?

Are you wondering if marriage restoration works? Yes it does if you know exactly what to do and when. Love is like a plant - you need to nurture your love or it will die. You need to feed it on a regular basis and let it build in strength. A well nourished relationship is very hard to destroy.

If you need some ideas on how marriage restoration works make sure you read every inch of this blog "How to Save Your Marriage or Relationship from Catastrophe". The strategies here will help most people to improve their relationships and not just those of us facing a marriage breakdown. Communication between couples can be plagued with problems. Our egos often get in the way and if not our egos, our pride. How often have you known that you should apologize for your behavior but decided that you couldn't do it as you didn't want to lose face. Some men let their egos go to their head. They lose a fantastic relationship with the woman of their dreams because some other girl looks attractive and shows interest. He can't let his ego down by saying no, his unfaithfulness, gets caught and then wonders why he may need marriage restoration.

When you are part of a couple, life is not always easy. You have to compromise and this can mean that you spend your Saturday on the sidelines at a game when you would rather be in the Mall shopping. Or it could mean you take your wife and her parents out to dinner when you would rather be with your buddies in a bar somewhere. But the benefits of being happily married far outweigh any disadvantages. Being able to come home to your loving partner at the end of a hard day. Knowing that there is always someone who believes in you and what you are trying to achieve. Knowing you are not on your own and don't have to spend your life in a series of flings because you are lonely.

If you have children, you owe them the chance of growing up in a happy home with both their parents. They didn't ask to come into your life, you invited them. All kids want Mom and Dad to stay together. Sometimes it is best for parents to split up but only if they have tried everything to make their relationship work first. They can't just bail out at the first sign of trouble. All couples go through phases of being less than happy with each other, but for the majority these phases will pass especially if you both make an effort to resolve the underlying issues.

Yes being happily married takes hard work and commitment but the benefits are fantastic. So if you feel marriage restoration would work for you today, read this blog and follow the instructions and get your relationship back on the right track now. Don't wait until it is too late.

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Dec 11, 2017

Four Simple Guides for Social Media in Dealing with an Ex

Social media invades so many corners of life. It allows couples to meet, deepen their relationship and document the life cycle of their union. The one area social media causes far more harm than good rests in the space following a break up.

Given the sensitive nature of an ex, people require a game plan to prevent themselves from making critical missteps leading to additional pain and struggles moving forward. Let's see what a savvy person can do after the relationship ends.

DO Take a Social Media Sabbatical

Taking a break from social media serves several purpose, some of which the individual may not even know they need. The hardest step to getting away from social media is always the first. People rarely realize the extent to which their life comes into contact with numerous apps and sites designed to keep people in touch with one another. Pull the plug, even metaphorically, as quickly as possible. The longer one waits the harder the transition will be.

DON'T Lurk

If deciding to stay online, it is ever more important to keep away from an ex's profile due to the types of information located there. Seeing an ex moving forward, who they are dating and their overall mood makes things more challenging and painful. Under no circumstances should one believe the falsehood perpetuated by telling themselves they only wish to see how their ex is doing. It may start in such a vein, but will end up leading into a difficult spiral which becomes harder to pull oneself out of the impending pit.

DO Mute the Ex and Their Friends

As with not actively pursing an ex's feed, one needs to remove incoming triggers by silencing avenues of contact before they become problems. This starts with the mute button. Blocking, in most of the major social media sites, broadcasts a cutting of ties. While this may be the intent, it also projects the impression of fragility no one wishes to present. The mute button works behind the scenes like a filter like the one keeping a former co worker's restaurant reviews out of your feed. Though small, this action reduces the number of active triggers entering one's mind.

DON'T Broadcast Love Life

The temptation to document everything during a sensitive period will be heightened, especially if receiving updates from friends and family. Getting stuff out of one's head can be very beneficial. Working this out offline will bring the best results with a minimal amount of outside interference. Writing in a journal may place one in a pocket allowing for greater peace. Also, keeping the ups and downs of starting over offline will prevent additional pain from displaying all of the starts and stops to the world.

Social media connects everyone. It makes life easier while allowing the world to shrink. For healing to occur after a break up, one needs to step away from contact for a period of time, work things out in safe place with friends and family and slowly reintroduce social media back into the routine. Avoiding landmines presented by social media will speed recovery. It takes patience, time and discipline. Though difficult, it makes things better in the long run when finding the right person for the future.

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