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Indicators of Exit Strategies

Everyone believes they possess keen insight into their partner's moods and thoughts. Unfortunately, people rarely have an accurate assessment of everything the other person in their life is saying. This is why it is important to pay attention. Tiny items add up and possibly point to a plan the partner might be unaware they have.

All Is Quiet: Everyone seeks time of solitude and silence. Random moments of quiet is not an obvious concern. When this becomes a pattern of behavior, red flags should be raised. A good course of action in the face of this is small engagements of non threatening topics. If they refuse to talk about these items, a pending demise to the relationship presents as a possibility.

Going It Alone: Someone making plans to leave a relationship will begin making decisions on their own. They usually start with small things like a new piece of clothing or accessory. If asked about it, they might attribute it to liking it and wanting to get it. These small decisions escalate until they unilaterally make choices in the best interest of themselves and not the relationship.

No Check Ins: A sharp drop in the number of contacts throughout the day or on a trip could easily point a lack of concern about the other person. Someone not thinking about the other leads to not make the effort. A person operating alone might be preparing to exit. Probing into this behavior tends to put person on the defensive. Awareness proves the most prudent course of action.

Not a Team Player: Though a couple comprised of two people never fully abandon their individuality, hearing a partner talk about each member as separate entities might mean they no longer see a cohesive whole. Watching subtle bits of communication like the reduction in the number of plural pronouns demonstrate where their mind is focused. Conversational awareness is important when picking up on these cues. They might not use "we" or "us" referring to your latest business trip. Clearly, not doing discussing your last romantic get away is a concern.

Out of the Blue: A sudden change in a partner's thoughts, feelings or beliefs on an issue demonstrates detachment. With an increase in multiple things, a new topic might slip through the cracks. A healthy relationship will allow one partner to ask for an explanation as to why a particular issue trigger a line of thought. Also, be aware of the small things too. Just because it does not seem like a big deal, the less significant appearing items might point toward a changing attitude in general.

Future Free: One partner no longer talking about plans for beyond the weekend may show they do not intend to be around long enough for the long term to impact them. Take a couple who might have been discussing a change in residence and one of them begins deflecting ideas about locations or types of homes. Clearly, their heart is no longer looking to the time when they will be in the new place together. The most severe form of this thinking happens when the partner say something foreboding like "We might not even be together then." Take these subtle threats seriously because the speaker might not even know they plan to go.

Relationships are difficult, even the best ones. Leaping on a solitary action, conversation or event adds to the stress of an already fraught circumstance. Be patient, but aware. Being part of a team means keeping communication open. In such an environment, partners discuss aspects of what is happening, including if the time has come to a close.

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