Dec 14, 2013

Be Courteous and Save the Marriage

The wedding celebration is summed up with the exchange of the “I do’s.” This is just the beginning. There are more exchanges of words expected.  However, to have a lasting relationship, respect is the key.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, respect is such a big word. It is a big factor in any relationship. It is the foundation of love and trust. Any married couple encountering difficulties in their relationships can simply go back to this fundamental.

To maintain harmony, each of the spouses must manifest respect to the other. Simply be courteous, both in words and in actions.

Most people associate courtesy with etiquette. That is why most people think it is very burdensome. Some people even claim that they want to be laid-back in a serious relationship, that there is no need for pretenses or formalities.

However, courtesy is not all about table manners or social formalities. It is simply an active choice of doing the proper things at the proper time, like displaying gratitude when there is something to be thankful for or expressing sweet words of love.


Say the Magic Word


Do not let politeness be forgotten in the relationship. To be courteous to each other is not difficult. One only has to remember the magic words taught back in the kindergarten days. Here are some phrases that would definitely count.

1. “Please.”
Requesting for something to be done will sound better if coupled with this simple word.

2. “Thank You.”
These two words express gratitude for someone who went out of the way to do something special.

3. “You’re welcome.”

Even in married life, each of the spouses still deserves such sweet and comforting phrases. Their lasting effects are not to be underestimated. These words never go out of style.


Be Courteous in Your Actions


Courtesy can also be extended on many other occasions.

It would be a good thought to return phone calls. Leaving a note behind to simply inform the itinerary or destination for the day will also assure the husband or the wife. Remembering and celebrating anniversaries and birthdays are definitely plus points.

Do not fall out of these habits. Common courtesy is deserved by others. Coupled with the thought of doing such things will definitely make the spouse worthy of respect.


The simplest and most ordinary things done everyday are actually the best things to take note of when trying to improve the marriage. If one aims for more intimacy and openness in the marriage, such simple and intimate ways of communication must be encouraged.

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Dec 13, 2013

Happily Ever After: Just How Do You Get There?

In the real world, it’s certainly not with a magic wand. But real married life doesn’t necessarily have to be dull and gray either.

A bright and lasting marriage is very possible even after the honeymoon period. What is needed is the willingness to work at it and an even bigger will to keep on working when things get difficult – because as with any marriage, it definitely will.

A healthy marriage is a lot like a healthy body. As your body requires proper feeding, consistent exercise and sufficient rest; so does your marriage need constant reassurance, adequate time together, and steady communication.

Communication to a marriage is a lot like exercise for the body. It is what you do to make sure your relationship is in good shape.

A misconception people have over communication is that it requires words and a schedule to sit down and talk. While it is true that couples need to find time to talk on a regular basis, consistent communication goes beyond simply this.

Communication also involves non-verbal cues such as body language and with how common everyday things are done.

For example, when you see your partner crossing his arms while you’re explaining something, he may not be receptive to what you are saying. Seeing his/her body tense up when you bring up a certain topic may mean that the particular subject is causing him/her stress. 

Another example of non-verbal communication is noticing how they do certain everyday things differently. An example would be when the wife is dressed up a bit nicer than usual. She may want to look special for some reason but prefers not to say it outright. When the husband spends more and more time working in the garage than he used to, he may be saying that something is bothering him, which makes him want to spend less time in the house.

Of course the meanings of these actions vary, but it is wise to be aware of them. Use these non-verbal cues as signs that your partner may want to say something, but is reluctant to talk about them for now. And then, when the time is right, be ready to take these non-verbal communications to the next level and talk about it.

As it is with your body where instant results don’t come with a few exercise sessions; the same principle applies to a marriage. Communicating now will not necessarily make everything rosy from here on end, but it will certainly pave the way to a healthy relationship much more smoothly.

Want to Save Your Marriage or Relationship with the Person Your Dating? Grab Your Copy of "The Magic of Making Up" Today.
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Marriage Problems: Common, But Never Simple

You may think the common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car.

It is a scary thought – the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, “I think don’t want to be married to you anymore.”

One may think they’re ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution.

And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it.

What are these “common marriage problems” that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality.

Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categories but the marriages that survive do so because they addressed the problem properly and looked for a solution – together.

So just how do you actually do that? It is both simple and complex.

It is simple because it just requires you to admit to yourself and to your spouse that you have a problem. On the other hand, it is complex because both of you may not agree on what exactly the problem is and the solution for it.

For both of you to reach an agreement, you must be able to both listen and articulate. Listen first to what your spouse thinks is the problem that’s driving you apart.

After he/she has said her part, then carefully tell her what’s on your mind. This act of listening and communicating then brings to both your attentions the problems with your relationship and the causes for it.

However, the both of you need to take the next step by finding a solution to the problem. This is the tricky part for it will undoubtedly require adjustment from both sides. However, simply making the necessary adjustments alone will not address the problem.

You need to find the reason why you are making these sacrifices. And that reason should be because you love your spouse and want to build on the relationship making it stronger with time.

Whether it is a problem with spending, or with who gets to hold the remote control, marriage problems can be weathered when faced together and worked on together. In time, an open toothpaste tube, or another fender bender won’t have an effect at all on the relationship.

Want to Save Your Marriage or Relationship with the Person Your Dating? Grab Your Copy of "The Magic of Making Up" Today.
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Never Too Busy To Build a Lasting Marriage

There is a big project at work and you need to show your boss that you’re ready for that promotion which will help pay the mortgage. A seminar is in town for a business opportunity you’re interested in while a ton of paperwork piles up on your desk.

Your child’s homeroom teacher has called again asking you for a visit. A science project needs to be done, but not before the soccer team comes over while a ton of laundry piles up in the hamper.

By day end, the only thing that you want to do is clean up, get under the covers and sleep – not minding the person on the other side of the bed who’s equally tired as you are.

Sounds familiar? While this may seem normal for your family, continuing like this will wear you and your relationships down, especially with your spouse. This can lead to constant bickering, which can make a house that is simply not a home.

But then you may say, “I can’t help it if I’ve got a lot of work to do. As much as I want to have ‘quality time’ I just don’t have the time for it.”

Not necessarily true.
While you may have a lot to do, there are ways to find time to care for what’s truly important – and that is your relationship with your spouse and your family. Below are some suggestions just to get you started:

- When at work, during a coffee break or in between meetings, call up your husband/wife, just to let them know you’re thinking about them. Or you can tap out a short email or instant message.

- On occasion, ask your spouse what kind of food they would like to have for a change. And when at the grocery, make a slight detour and buy the ingredients for that dish.

- After dinner, even if you’re tired, help with cleaning up. This gives you time for you and your partner to share your day while preventing the notorious dozing off in mid-conversation. Another option is having the kids take care of cleaning up while you and your partner go out for a short walk.

Reinforce the relationship with these small but thoughtful gestures, building on the love that brought you and your partner together in the first place. In spite your busy and hectic schedule, they are never that far from your mind, which shows just how special they are to you.

As this becomes part of how you conduct “everyday” life, you’ll find your relationship with your spouse continues to grow stronger over time.

Want to Save Your Marriage or Relationship with the Person Your Dating? Grab Your Copy of "The Magic of Making Up" Today.
Click here now!

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