Jan 3, 2013

From Boyfriend To Husband - Now Cheater

Is this you; I found out my husband has had numerous affairs throughout our marriage. But when I confronted him and told him what I knew, he claims they meant nothing and that most men do it. He said it was just something that just happen and he never wanted to hurt me, I'll never do it again -- he treats me like a queen, but I'm worried that he will continue to cheat on me.

Doesn't the above paragraph sounds familiar to you? It's the same script women have when they've been cheated on.

In my opinion, I would call any man rather it be your boyfriend or husband behavior -- high risk, especially with all the sexually transmitted diseases going around. If he believes that (most men do it too), he may get caught up in this learned male-behavior pattern.

Men escape serious social consequences in repeated affairs because 'Boys-Will-Be-Boys' attitude still prevails. Sex adventure sometimes becomes a sport for men, which is why it's often called scoring. Your husband's multiple affairs confirm that sex was the goal, rather than intimacy, romance or commitment. Some experts in the field of sex therapy and marriage counseling, believe that men cheat out of curiously, a need for variety, sexual frustration, boredom and the need for acceptance and recognition.

Women must recognize that her mate is part boy, part adolescent and part man. The boy needs caring, the adolescent sex and the man approval -- a man's masculinity is confirmed through sex. You both my need to consider marriage counseling to find out the motivation behind his cheating.

His maturity will come when he discovers what drives him to these sexual conquests. But, remember you are not the cause of his infidelity, and you should not be the victim of it either. Tell him that he can protect the interest of his relationship/marriage with professional counseling. Also, you need to express your hurt to him, but in a constructive manner -- but before you seek out therapy, go out for walks, for drives, to your favorite restaurants, places where you were happiest, to begin talking about these painful events. Listen to each other without interruptions, don't judge each other and allow yourselves to ventilate pent-up feelings. Love is powerful, but it requires work and sacrifice, respect each other... And don't let friends or family give their opinion about whats good for you or what they would do -- this is your relationship (be in control of it).

"Infidelity - Is Like Quicksand...You Must Step Cautiously"


Jan 1, 2013

Years Into The Relationship - We Lost Interest

In most cases into the relationship, what I have discovered is -- We get irritable and bored when we spend a lot of time together; Does this mean we're incompatible? That's a Yes Or No question.

You see, you have to look at what sparked your relationship at the beginning, to what caught your eye in that person which made you like/love the man or woman you wanted to marry or be boyfriend/girlfriend with - so, to speak. For example: If some how you both lost interest in one another or think you aren't compatible, you have to back track to the beginning to find out what happen along the way to what have made you lose interest in your mate -- be your own investigator!

Men and women differ in their communication skills and area of interest. It is a fallacy to assume that not having the same interests mean the relationship is over or irreparably damaged by a long shot. Irritability and boredom between the two of you may be an indication that you're in a one-sided relationship or in too much of a routine.

Relationships need your continual input, or else stimulation lessens and boredom will set in. Rather than expecting to share each others individual interests, try exploring new areas to enhance togetherness. Plan activities you've never done before -- examine the newspaper for interesting events. Discuss ideas like a boat ride, sporting events, bicycle riding, tickets for a TV show or just setting under the moonlight or picnic in the park, it really doesn't matter as long as your doing something different together. A variety of activities will give you both new experiences to enjoy and discuss.

Recommended Reading: "The Magic Of Making Up" by T-Dub Jackson - Click here 

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