Jun 2, 2012

Love of Marriage or Relationships: Like A Car You May Need a Tune-Up

We all know that there are many stages of Love & Relationships. Sometimes, it can be a good idea to do a "tune up" of your relationship and make sure you are heading in the direction you want to be heading.

Love & Relationships can have all types of possible pitfalls and if you don't keep your eyes, and your mind, open you may miss early warning signs. Missing these signs may make it easy for small, rather insignificant problems to get out of hand.

If these problems are allowed to spiral out of control it may spell the end of your relationship. Many people mistakenly believe that once they get to a certain point in their relationship they are safe from these problems.

Unfortunately, that does not seem to actually be the case. Many couples actually fall apart after they have been together for decades. That can be discouraging news, I know, but knowing that it is possible allows you to be more proactive.

So take this knowledge as a possible early step to protect your relationship. Acknowledge that there is never a time your relationship is invulnerable and that if you want it to work you must be willing to always keep your eyes open for possible pitfalls.

One of the biggest issues is that people will change as they get older, but sometimes, they don't always grow in the same way.

As we grow older and experience various aspects of life, both good and bad, we will change. It is inevitable. The problem is that even a couple who experiences these issues together may come out the other side differently.

So even though both of you are changing based on your experiences, you may not be changing in the exact same way. This can cause problems since it will make it easy for you to grow apart.

This is common and there is no easy fix. The best thing you can do is to talk to your partner honestly, make a point of looking out for these potential problems and try to continue to find things that you can both have in common and love to do together.

While we can't pick and choose what experiences we have in life, we can take steps to make sure those experiences don't cause us and our partner to grow in different ways.

Communication, love and respect are the most important things to keep in mind throughout all aspects of your love life.

To keep your love life full and happy, just remember that you and your honey can work together to make sure you grow in your love life and in your life. It might be a cliche, but you can't control what happens in your life you can only control how you react to them.

Doing all you can to make sure that you both continue to feel the love in your relationship is worth the time and effort. While things can fall apart in relationships,  it does happen, that does not mean that it has to happen to you with your love & relationships.

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Men And Commitment Issues: Go Hand In Hand

It is a very commonly held belief that men and commitment issues go hand in hand. But, as with most stereotypes, the truth may not be quite what we think it is.

We've probably all known someone who was with one of these commitment phobic guys who just didn't want to settle down yet he ended up getting married shortly after the relationship with our friend ended. What's up with that?

The truth is that many people, yes that means women too, who seem like they would never settle down just were waiting for the right person.

Few people are going to admit to the person they are in a relationship with that the person they are with is only a convenience. But that is exactly what happens more times than not.

We find ourselves in a relationship and while it isn't bad we know in our hearts that it isn't the relationship we really want to be in. So, we go along and we enjoy as much of it as we can but all the while we are waiting to meet that special someone.

Most of us don't do this consciously, but we do it. So, the men and commitment issues that you have dated in the past were more than likely just not sure about the relationship in general.

To lessen the impact of this type of misunderstanding on your emotional well being, why not keep your eyes open for the signs?

There are almost always indications that this type of situation is going on. If you can train yourself to spot them early you can either end the relationship right then and there or, at least, make sure you don't get in over your head emotionally.

Here are some things to keep your eyes open for:

1. If he just doesn't seem to want to talk about the future... even in kind of vague terms. This is always tricky because most of us don't want to bring up future plans too early in the relationship for fear we will scare someone off.

Yet, if we wait too long we may be emotionally invested and then find out they aren't interested in anything long term.

This is the reason I always think the "talk" should happen early in a relationship, though, you do have to be careful how you come across. You want to make sure that the conversation is kind of generic if you have it early in the relationship.

It's much better to say something like "I want to get married and have kids in the future" rather than "I think you're the "one" and I want to spend the rest of my life with you even though we just met".

Have the talk, just be careful how you go about it.

2. Does the person you are dating have a long list of exes? If so, they may have some commitment issues. True, these issues may go away when they find the "one" but are you willing to take that chance?

I can't stand stereotypes especially if they are used to describe me. I am an individual and want to be treated that way. I suspect most people do and men and commitment issues would feel the same way. Get to know the guy and just because you aren't his "one" don't stereotype him as a commitment phobe.

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