Mar 9, 2012

How A Rebound Relationship Can Work-If You Find Yourself In One

It's an unfortunate fact, but breakups happen. They may not be pleasant, but it's not the end of the world either. If this has happened to you recently and are in a new relationship, or are thinking of being in one, then you probably want to know how a rebound relationship can work.

Let's take a moment to define what is meant by 'rebound relationship'. A rebound relationship is the first relationship you enter into after a breakup, and it typically happens rather quickly to fill an emotional void. Technically, any relationship after a breakup, no matter how much time has passed, could be a rebound.

There are many reasons for breaking up, and you need to take an honest look at what led to your previous relationship coming to an end. The key here is to be gut-wrenchingly honest with yourself. This will help you to avoid being with someone who has the same problems as your ex. It will also help to prevent you from making the same personal mistakes that contributed to your prior breakup.

While it takes two people to ultimately cause a breakup, you may feel as though your partner was largely to blame. If that's the case, then it can be very difficult to trust somebody new. Do your best to remember that the new person in your life is not the same person as your ex. If you do a good job of avoiding past mistakes, then you should have picked someone who is different from your ex anyway.

Of course this is one of those things that's easier said than done. After all, you are most likely attracted to a certain type of person for a reason, good or bad. In other words, while there may be positive aspects that you respond to, there are also negative aspects that are alluring in their own way. Therefore, you need to be on your guard so you don't let the "good stuff" overpower the "bad stuff". Now, that doesn't mean you have to find somebody who is perfect, but you should do your best to avoid the bad stuff that led you to looking at a rebound relationship.

As you are starting the new relationship, avoid the temptation of spilling your guts about why you are on the rebound. This is especially important during the first few dates. Over time, you may want to reveal some of what went wrong, but only if it's relevant to the conversation, or if it's to help explain something about you. For example, if after a month or so, your new partner mentions that you seem to have trust issues, then you can explain why that is, and how your previous relationship contributed to the problem. The one thing you don't want to do, however, is have your old relationship sabotage your current one.

How a rebound relationship can work will depend on how well you are able to put the past into perspective. The main thing to keep in mind is that they really can work.

Find The Time To Dedicate To Your Marriage

Today we are faced with so many things coming at us from so many directions. With all these stresses in life it's tough to keep our relationships strong, and if you want to save your relationship, just finding the time to work on it can be a challenge. This article will give you advice on love to save your relationship, it's aimed at all the overly stressed busy people who still want to make their relationships work.

Here are 3 things you can start doing today to keep your relationship strong, or pull it back from the brink. It's not so much about how much time you spend together, it's more about the quality of time that the two of you spend together.  Keep that in mind when going over the list:

1. Figure out what activities that the two of you like to do as a couple. It doesn't matter if it's round of golf or a trip to the local movie theater. As long as you can share an experience that is enjoyable, for both of you. When it's your time, make arrangements for the kids to spend the night at grandma's, turn off the cell phones and Blackberries, take the phone off the hook, and turn off the t.v. This is about connecting with each other, not just co-existing in the same place at the same time.

This is so important for two reasons.  One, it will allow you time to relax and unwind from the stresses of life.  That will help each of you individually and also will allow both of you to bring more to the relationship since you'll be more relaxed and at ease.  And two, it gives the two of you precious memories that you can relive from time to time with each other.  It's fun to have shared experiences where you can say 'remember when we did...'?  That creates a deeper bond between the two of you.

2. So many couples only talk about mundane daily things like asking your spouse if they had a good day,  or if they picked up milk on the way home.  Try to make time each week to really talk.  Don't turn it into a complaining time, just talk.  Tell your partner about your dreams, relive some fun past times, etc.  Make it a positive time.  Really be willing to talk, and listen, and let each other into your minds a little bit.

3.  Try to always remind yourself what it was that first attracted you to your partner.  Was it their laugh, their offbeat sense of humor, their goofy expressions? Whatever it was don't let yourself forget that.  And while you're reminding yourself, make sure to let them know too.  If you fell in love with their laugh, tell them, often, that you love the way they laugh.  So much of that positive reinforcement seems to go out the window the longer the relationship goes on.  And that's a shame.  Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, don't ever let your partner feel like you don't find that thing you fell in love with attractive anymore.

A loving relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Many people will tell you that relationships are 'hard' and that they 'take a lot of work'.  I don't agree.  I believe that if you are with the right person, if you're both mature adults who really want to make the relationship work, and if you know what to look out for, your relationship can be very easy.  Just use this advice on love to save your relationship as a starting point.

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