Jan 20, 2012
This also has the drawback of making any break ups quite painful. You put in the time and effort necessary to build up a relationship with someone, only to have it all be for nothing in the end. So getting over a break up can be tough. Your jealous of others in working relationships, mad at yourself for letting it fall thru, hurt, maybe feeling betrayed. So getting past all of this can be difficult, but not impossible. With a few simple tips you should be able to press ahead and come out the other side.
1. Stay positive. Keeping a positive attitude is important after a break up. Letting yourself get depressed only makes recovery that much more difficult, and that much more time consuming. If you keep a positive mindset and look on the bright side of life you will not only be much happier but also have a much easier time with overcoming the sadness and pain you feel after a bad break up.
2. Do not become a recluse; In other words ( one who retreats from the world to live in solitude ) When dealing with a bad break up your jealous of other people for not having to deal with this pain. You may also feel like you can no longer trust others and this is why so many people become reclusive after a particularly nasty break up. They will lock themselves away in their home and see their friends and family less and less. However keeping active and enjoying life will help you forget and move past the pain you currently feel.
3. Look for help. When something bad happens to us, we often need or want a shoulder to cry on. There is nothing wrong with this, in fact keeping your emotions bottled up is the worst thing you can do. So finding someone to talk to about your break up can help you get it all off your chest. It does not necessarily have to be friends or family if you do not want to burden them. You can go to a counselor and talk with them, at the very least they can be someone to rant at, that is what they are paid for after all.
4. Keep going. After a break up, the worst possible thing you can ever do is to simply give up. Giving into your despair and convincing yourself that you simply were not cut out for love. No matter what you can not let yourself do this. Even if your jealous or hurt, these negative emotions will only bring you down if you let them.
No matter how bad your break up is, you will get through it in time and you will find love again if you keep looking.
That's right, the best way to forgo arguments about finances in relationships is to talk things out and create a plan for when you two have to combine your lives and income. No two people have the same feelings about money and if there is enough to pay all the bills and still have some fun then you are way ahead of the pack in this economy.
Here is what you should do: A few weeks before the wedding you should sit down and plan out your financial life. Write down some goals you both have and where you both want to be in six months, one year, and five years. Go out longer if you want to just make sure to take into consideration any raises either of you might get. I know that is difficult to do sometimes but if you want to go ahead.
Be ready, because you both may have to compromise some things in order to make things work financially. Someone who likes to spend money may have to be put on an allowance each week. Talk it out, work it out and find a compromise that each of you can live with.
Sometimes it is in your best interest to have separate checking accounts and each one of you be responsible for a portion of the household debt. Or, you could each maintain your own accounts and have a third for each of you to deposit enough in to cover the bills each month.
The simplest might be to just have one checking account and pool all the money so you both know where every cent is going. This way you could also have a savings account and be saving for the things you want.
Be sure to have paper and pen nearby when you sit down to talk so you can mock up a budget. Combine both your yearly incomes and see where you fall. Now, decide together how much you could spend on a house and enter this number in your mock budget. This is good practice for when you get married, by the way.
Then put in good ballpark figure of what it would cost for electric and gas and water usage. Include insurance payments for the house and the cars. Do not forget about gas for the cars and food each week. Whatever you need to pay put a number for it in your mock budget so you can get a good idea of where you will be after the wedding.
Finances in relationships do not have to be so stressful. If one of you would rather do the bills then elect that person to be in charge and take your weekly allowance without complaint.
Jan 19, 2012
Satisfaction in relationship comes in all shapes and sizes and depending on the type of person each of you are it can be different for all concerned.
For instance, if one of you has got to be in control all the time and one of you is a doormat then this might give both of you some satisfaction. You are both getting what you need and as long as there is no abuse going on this type of arrangement might work very well.
If you both have figured out that somethings are harder for you to do and the other of you is good at those things then you probably make a great team. When one does not know how to do something the other does and you both benefit from each others knowledge and skill.
Maybe you are both laid back and just take the world as it comes to you. This can work too. No one needs too much stress in their lives and if the two of you have found out how to live with very little stress then more power to you.
If your relationship is tense and sometimes too much to handle then you need to find ways to make things better. I believe this is called simplifying your life. Get rid of all the baggage you do not need any longer. It could be something simple like changing phone plans so you save a little bit of money each month.
Spend that extra cash for a date night once or twice a month and try to keep things as fresh as possible. Sneak in little surprises here and there and just try to see the other point of view instead of fighting to the death over a difference of opinion.
Take the time to remember the good times you have had and some of the memories that go along with those good times. This may prompt you to do some little thing every now and then to remind your partner of those times.
Plan a surprise weekend away, send the kids to grandma's house for the weekend and do not tell your partner where you are going until you get close. The surprise element of this will keep them guessing and coming back for more.
Believe it or not if you keep them guessing all the time and they do keep coming back for more then there is no room for boredom or becoming complacent in the relationship. Now I do not mean that you have to do something surprising every single day of your marriage but come up with ideas to make one night a week exciting for the both of you.
Soon the other one of you will see how fun it can be and maybe jump on the bandwagon and start planning some things of their own for the two of you to do. These are some tips for creating satisfaction in relationship.
That level of trust does not develop over night however, you must work at it. And, trust that has been built over time can be gone in a heartbeat if one of you starts doing stupid things to hurt your relationship.
An investment in relationships does not have anything to do with money. The investment comes from being there for someone when they need you and being reliable even when they do not. The best way for you to accomplish this is to do what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it. This is a simple concept. When the small things are taken care of then you can move on to bigger things.
If she calls you up and says she needs you to pick her up from work or where ever and for you to be there at a certain time then make sure you are waiting for her when she comes out. Do not make her wait for you. She will be tired and want nothing more than to see your smiling face at the end of her day.
Another way to earn her trust is to confide in her about things that bother you. Confide in her about things that interest you. The two of you will feel closer than ever before and this will show her that you trust her with some of the big stuff. If she confides something to you earn more trust by keeping it to yourself, do not spread what she tells you all over town.
Show some vulnerability sometimes. No one is as strong as they need to be all the time. Let her know you need her to be there for you when you are feeling down and just want to talk things out. She will feel that you need her when you do this. Try to come out of your comfort zone and let her inside for just a moment.
Do things to make her feel important in your world. If she wants to go see a chick-flick then take her and try to have fun. On the flip side she should be interested in doing the same for you. Be careful here though, because you might get caught up in what she wants and neglect your own stuff. Do not do that to her and she will not do that to you.
And last but not least, carve out some time for each other. Life can get in the way and with this being the technology age that it is you can get lost in all the text messages and e-mails and almost forget to see each other everyday. Making an investment in relationships is just this simple.
This behavior is normal and romantic relationships can develop between two people who spend a lot of time together in any situation may find they have feelings for each other and the workplace is no exception. How this can influence things at work depends on if the relationship works out or not.
If you are considering dating someone at work check out the HR policy on it first, you may find you can get into some trouble if you date someone within the company. Otherwise do what you can to keep things under wraps while you are at work for two reasons.
No one needs to know your business and if there is a policy against co-workers dating then you will stay out of trouble. A third reason is that you both will not become fodder for the rumor mill.
When the dynamic changes between two people at work and they decide to commit to each other in a serious manner care must be taken to keep productivity at the same level or higher otherwise the boss will suspect something is going on and she/he may question you.
Do what you can to stay as productive as you were before the relationship started and you will not have any problems. Do not spend all of your time sending e-mails or calling the other person on the phone. There is a time and a place for all of that and at work is not that time or place.
Make plans to meet for lunch before you get to work. Then at lunch make plans for after work. Try your best to keep your relationship out of the workplace. You may be so excited and feel like telling some of your closer co-workers about your new love but refrain from doing so. Word will get out if you do this and this is when the trouble we talked about earlier can start.
No one needs to lose their job over falling in love especially in this economy where jobs are hard to come by. Do everything you can to keep the one you've got.
If the newness wears off and the relationship starts to go sour do your best to keep the breaking up out of the workplace as well. Do not let your productivity waver in this situation either. Deal with the break up on your own time.
Romantic relationships can be tough at any time but between two co-workers it needs special attention. If things do go sour and you work in the same department then one of you could ask for a transfer to another department to stay out of trouble. You know what they say, "Out of sight, out of mind".
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