That seems to be the one thing that eludes many of us, we just seem to have trouble finding relationships that stand the test of time. Is there a secret? Is there some sort of blue print or formula that we can follow to find "the one"?
Well, I don't claim to be an expert but I believe that yes, in a way there really is. I believe most of us have the tendency to make things more complicated than we need to. I believe that if we made a subtle shift in the way we thought about our relationships we could have more success.
Like I said, I'm not an expert and you may or may not agree with my ideas, but here are some easy things that I believe can make it easier for you to have more success in all your relationships both romantic and not:
1. I believe that the first thing you can do to make sure you have good relationships will actually start with you. Too many of us think that we have to pick the right person, and I sure think that is important too, but what about you? Are you "right"? Do you even know what you want or what you will be bringing to the table in your relationship?
Most people will say their "perfect" relationship would include things like someone who has a good sense of humor, that they are honest, that they communicate well, etc. But do you have those same traits?
If not, you and your "perfect person" may not actually be that compatible after all.
2. Once you are more mature and in touch with who you really are you will have an easier time of recognizing the traits that you really want when you see them in another. But more than that, you will also be able to show them that you can provide them with the type of person they are likely to want too.
It's not just about what you want but what you can offer someone else. If you are needy and immature you won't be likely to attract someone who is mature and confidant. Instead, you will most likely attract other needy and immature people and that will not make for a good long lasting relationship.
3. This goes along with the idea of compatibility (actually I think that is most of what will make your relationships strong is true compatibility) is making sure you don't ignore the bad traits you see early on in your relationships.
Sure, we all know that everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning but even so you can still spot signs of trouble if they are there and if you are willing to keep your eyes open.
Too many people go out to find someone for the wrong reasons such as loneliness or peer pressure. So, make sure you know what you have to offer and make sure you are strong enough to be alone before you start looking for someone to date.
That sounds weird I know but the truth is that if you are desperate when you start looking for someone special you will ignore any bad traits in your partner and that may eventually doom your relationship. That is what I believe happens to most people; they simply ignore signs of trouble when it would still be easy to get out.
Instead they go ahead with the relationship for the wrong reason and later when they are in love, or married or have kids it is a lot harder to make a break. If they had seen and heeded the signs early on it would have been easy to save them self from a lot of pain. That is the basis to relationships that stand the test of time.
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