Mar 22, 2011

Infidelity In A Relationship Will Destroy Trust: But It Can Be Salvaged

Nothing is more disheartening to a relationship than finding out that there has been infidelity. It can break your heart and can definitely knock the wind out of your sails. But, the good news is that cheating in a relationship can be overcome with time. Please take the time to focus on your relationship and try to work things out, in many cases you can. Don't give up.

One of the best things you can do is to take plenty of time to try to figure out what happened. Unless one of you is a chronic cheater, the cheating came from somewhere (not that this is an excuse) but to fix things you need to know what happened to create the situation in the first place.

If you or your partner has been going through some things and maybe that situation has put stress on your marriage or relationship than you may need to start there. But, I know I'm repeating myself but it's that important, that doesn't mean it was ok that either of you turned to another person to feel better about yourself. No matter what situations the two of you are dealing with, it doesn't make it ok to have an affair.

It's important to figure that out and fix the cause. You will also need to get help from a therapist. The hurt and anger that you can feel after someone has cheated can almost take on a life of it's own and it can be very difficult to work past it, especially on your own.

If the two of you understand that the process will take time and it will be painful yet you are still willing to do what needs to be done, than the two of you have a great chance of salvaging your relationship and maybe even making things better than they were before.

Of course, if one or the other of you has a long history of cheating than the problem runs much deeper than just some issue in your relationship. If either of you is like that than the best thing for you to do is for the "cheater" to get some serious counseling to figure out why they are so flawed that they think it's ok to do what they want to do no matter who they hurt and what promises you go back on.

Getting Past A Break Up: It's Time to Move On With Your Life

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on us when we least expect it. Things are going great, and then we experience a loss, a break up, or some other major change. Those around us may try to help by offering comfort or advice (depending on the circumstances). That may take away some of the sting, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Break ups are the perfect example. They not only affect the relationship we were in, but they also have an impact in other areas of our lives.

It seems as though everything you do reminds you of your ex. And if the two of you were together for a while, then even going out can be a problem because you most likely have mutual friends. This makes doing even the most routine tasks more difficult, and--to put it mildly--you're a mess at work. Yes, the break up is taking its toll.

Right now you have a choice to make: either try to get your ex back, or move on.

If you want to work things out with your ex then there is some good news in that the vast majority of relationships can be saved. It's going to take some work and you will have to follow a good plan, but it is possible if you are willing to do whatever it takes. There are plenty of guides available on how to make up with an ex, so get one and make it happen!

Perhaps you just want to move on. If so, that's great, too! The first thing to do is let go of any guilt you may be feeling because of it. It's your life and you are the only one who can decide what is best for you. If that means going ahead and living your life, then so be it.

We have already mentioned that a break up impacts all areas of our lives, so it makes sense that you would want to get past it. It can take some time, but it can be done.

A good start is to break off all contact with your ex. The less you have to deal with them, the better. If that means not answering the phone or not checking your email for a few days, then don't do those things. It's only temporary, but the positive effects will last much longer. But what if your ex won't leave you alone? Then you have to put your foot down and let them know you want nothing to do with them. If they are stalking you, then get help.

Another thing you must do to get past a break up is to avoid gossiping about your ex. You may want to tell other people how awful your ex was, or how it was their fault you broke up, but don't do it. This only prolongs your mental attachment to them. So, make it a rule to not spread and not to listen to gossip about your ex.

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