Nov 5, 2010

Are Marriage Seminars Right For You?

One of the happiest moments in life is the day you get married. At some point though, reality sets in. You still love each other, but you have to admit that you would like to get along better. Don't worry, what you're going through is perfectly normal. However, if you feel things are getting worse, or would simply like to recapture some of those original feelings you had for each other, then marriage seminars may be just the thing you need.

If you are not familiar with the concept of a marriage seminar, it is basically where experts share their advice and expertise on the subject of marriage. This may be one expert or several, and the seminar may last for one evening or run for the course of several days. Generally speaking, most marriage seminars will last for a weekend, but if that's too long for you, you can either go for one day out of that weekend, or search for shorter seminars. Many seminars are based around religion, so be sure you know the angle of the seminar before you go to avoid any surprises.

Marriage seminars, for the most part, give you the same basic benefits. You not only get a chance to review your marriage but you will also have a chance to get away from your daily routine. This is a bigger benefit than most people realize because it gives you a new setting in which to take a fresh look at how your marriage is really going.

Not being involved in the drudgery of daily life, even if for a few hours, gives you an entirely different perspective on things. This is a good thing. you will also be there with many other couples, most of which have problems that are very similar to yours. However, you don't have to have any major problems to attend marriage seminars. You can go just for the sole purpose of strengthening your marriage. Regardless of why you are there, the seminar is sure to help in some way.

The experts at marriage seminars have a different way of looking at things. That's great, but a different viewpoint isn't enough to improve your level of wedded bliss. What really counts is that they are able to give you insights about your relationship.

If you are a bit hesitant about attending your first marriage seminar, then you are not a lone. Almost every couple is anxious about their first seminar. They may feel self-conscious and unsure of what to expect. However, as they go through it, they start to notice how much it is helping. By the end of the seminar most couples have a deeper love and respect for each other. In fact, it's quite common for couples to start attending marriage seminars whenever they can.

So, what's the catch? Well, these seminars, as helpful as they are still require you to do the actual work of building a better marriage. There are also costs involved, but if you are still in love, or want to fall back in love, then marriage seminars are for you, and the cost is small when compared to your happiness.

Nov 4, 2010

Can This Marriage Be Saved? Perhaps!

If you find that your relationship with your spouse is in a lot of trouble, you have probably asked yourself "can this marriage be saved?" No matter how bad it may seem, the answer is that it most likely can be saved. Even though the divorce rate is far too high, virtually every marriage can be salvaged, as long as the couple is willing to do whatever it takes.

However, there may be some marriages that are not worth saving, at least not in their current state. If you are in a marriage that is mentally or physically abusive, then asking if it can be saved is not the right question. Then you need to ask if you can be saved from the relationship. It's not easy, but it is critical that you get out. Perhaps your spouse will change, but you need to make sure, and see solid proof before you give them a second chance. Luckily, such exceptions make up only a small fraction of all marriages.

So, back to the question of whether or not your marriage can be saved. Well, it can only be saved if you want it to be saved. And, the fact that you are reading this is a good sign. However, take some time to seriously reflect upon whether or not you really want it to be saved. It's okay to answer no, so long as you answer honestly and after plenty of thought. Either way, something as important as a marriage shouldn't be taken lightly.

Now, if you have given it enough thought, and decided that you still love your spouse, and that you would like to stay married, then you are already on the right path to making it work. And it will take work. It's better to be up front about it, than it is to give you false pretenses and say it will be easy. It will take commitment and effort, but most things worthwhile do.

The first thing you have to do is talk to your spouse. You need to let them know that you think your marriage is in trouble. They will either agree, or have no idea whatsoever. But you need to open the lines of communication on the issue if you want to move forward.

Note your spouse's reaction as you bring up the subject. Are they shocked, sad, angry, hurt or confused? Whichever it is, respond accordingly. This will be your first opportunity to show you care about your spouse and keeping your marriage together. You have to remember that you are most likely catching your spouse off guard so try to be understanding of their feelings.

The next step is to commit to making things work out. You will also need to have your spouse's commitment to do the same thing. Granted, you may have to explain your reasons for why you're asking can this marriage be saved, and let them know you would like it to be saved.

Nov 3, 2010

Can A Marriage Quiz Help?

If you read magazines or surf the internet, then you have probably seen a marriage quiz or two. They promise to tell you about the health of your marriage or how to improve it, and all you have to do is answer a handful of questions. But the real question whether or not such quizzes can have any kind of real impact on your relationship. When it comes down to it, it's better to have more information about your marriage than less, yet you should remain cautious when you look at the results of any marriage quiz you take.

There is no doubt that these types of quizzes are popular. That's why they seem to turn up as often as they do; the people who publish them know they will attract more people to their magazine or website. And it's no wonder when you consider that no marriage is perfect, which makes for a compelling reason for people to take such quizzes.

While marriage quizzes may be fun to take, there are times when they may do more harm than good. The problem is brief or incomplete quizzes can't really give you a real picture of where your relationship stands. The potential then exists for getting the wrong idea, and that can lead to unnecessary stress and insecurity. That's why you should think of most marriage quizzes as nothing more than a form of entertainment.

Let's face it, you can't determine how healthy your marriage is by selecting your favorite food, color or television show. Decent marriages are not based on any of these things, and neither are decent marriage quizzes. Again, you can take any of these quizzes you like, just remember to not take them too seriously. But even the least insightful quiz may have some value.

While the majority of marriage quizzes lack substance, you can still use them to improve your marriage. How can you do this? By using them as a means of starting a conversation. Let your spouse know you just took the quiz and then tell them how useless or stupid you think it was (or whatever other commentary you would like to make). You can then suggest they take it too, then compare your assessment of the quiz. This is a very non-threatening way to start talking about deeper issues. That's because you will be discussing the quiz itself, but because the topic is really marriage, it will be easy to steer the conversation in that direction.

There is one type of marriage quiz that could be quite useful for most couples. What we're referring to is a quiz that both spouses write together. You each write ten questions or so, and then combine them into one quiz. Then both of you take the quiz and compare answers when you're done. The questions you put on your quiz are entirely up to you. Don't worry about getting the answers right or wrong. The whole purpose is to get both of you talking about your marriage, and if a little quiz can do that, then it's worth taking it.

Nov 2, 2010

What Does Marriage Really Mean To You and I

Most people would count their wedding day as one of the happiest days in their lives. Marriage is often defined as "two people taking a voluntary vow to remain together for life". That's a fair definition of marriage, but it isn't going to do much for keeping you happy. So, that leads to the question of what marriage really means.

Perhaps the better solution is to define what marriage means to you. Then ask your spouse (or soon to be spouse) what their definition is as well. This will give each of you a better idea of what the relationship is all about. It can also give you interesting insights into what your partner thinks about being married, and lead to a meaningful conversation about the subject.

It is often said that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. The truth is that that statistic is questionable at best, but even if the real number is closer to 30% it means the odds of splitting up are far too high. That doesn't mean a divorce is in your future and that you are doomed from the start, far from it. However, it is a good reason to make sure you practice communicating with one another. And if you have the same ideas and expectations about what does marriage really mean, then you will further increase your odds of staying happily together.

As mentioned, each of you will probably have a different definition of what being married means to you. There is nothing wrong with that, you are both individuals. However, it is a worthwhile exercise to create a common definition of marriage as well. One that you can both agree with, and the one that will be what your marriage is about. You can both keep your own definitions, of course, but they should be in harmony with your agreed up definition.

Let's face it, most couples will never take the time to do this. That's a shame because it helps to bring you even close together. It helps build good communication. On top of that, you will both have a much clearer idea of what your marriage means to you. Besides, it doesn't really take all that much time when you consider the impact it has on a lifetime of happiness.

Once you have decided what marriage means, you can both then work to protect it. Can you imagine the positive impact this can have on your relationship? How wonderful! There is no second guessing what the other person really thinks, and you will both be made stronger because of it. It doesn't seem too far-fetched to say that if every couple did this, then the divorce rate would be much lower than it is now.

Finally, you will notice that we are talking about coming up with your own personal definition of what marriage means to you as a couple. Sure, the dictionary and legal definitions are important to know, but they can't compare to coming up with your answer to what does marriage really mean.

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