Oct 16, 2009

Taking Your Relationship to Seriously - You Forget to Laugh

Your relationship and mine too, is a 24/7 job without a lunch break, we must continue to work at it and grow together. Sometimes we forget to laugh together and not take things so seriously, life is already hard enough with (bills, kids, money, etc)...yes! we all have our cross to bare. Today surprise your mate by telling them a joke, even if it's corny, watch what happens...they may laugh at the joke or tell you your crazy, either way you made their day and showed them you do care!

My jokes for today below: 

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished ..

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him,
and for Patience for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,

"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick,
we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

How To Build Trust In A Relationship

Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship.  It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologies to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.

But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:

1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.

2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small or white lies, they will have less belief in you.

3)Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new boyfriend or girlfriend your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open. 

4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.

5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.

6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognize these similar values.

All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.

Oct 14, 2009

Great Relationship Advice For Men

Men often wonder if they are speaking the same language as women because they can land in hot water very quickly.  They look for relationship advice for men in order to avoid these situations but most relationship advice is written by women for other women.

There are some basic rules that men need to understand in order to increase their success rate with women.

The first one is you need to worry when your woman gives you the silent treatment.  Most men go silent because they have nothing left to say but when a woman goes silent, it is generally a bit hint that you have upset her. Whilst you may think that silence is golden, women use not talking as a punishment. So if your lady friend has a silent day, think back over your actions and try to determine what you have done to upset her.

Secondly, PMS is not always the reason for a woman being in a bad mood. Sometimes they are upset and hurt over something and it has nothing to do with when their period is due. If you constantly blame PMS, you will probably find yourself searching the lonely hearts columns in the near future.

Women like to talk about their problems but this doesn't mean that they want you to fix everything.  Most females are quite capable of looking after themselves and they just want to let off steam. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.  Just in case, it was so you could listen to what your partner is saying before you jump in with the solution.  Do yourself a favor and believe that silence in this instance goes a long way.

When looking for relationship advice for men, they often look in the wrong places.  It is not ideal to ask your partners father what her problem is.  Firstly he is unlikely to understand her any more than you do but being the apple of his eye, he will wonder what you have done to upset her.

It helps to remember that your female partner and an elephant have something in common - their memory. Your partner will never forget anything so don't be surprised if she has a list a mile long of all the things you did wrong in the last six months. 

Try talking to your partner. Tell her often how much you love and appreciate her and cuddle her without always expecting it to lead to sex.  Like people of both sexes, women like to be held and appreciated without feeling they have to give you something in return.  

Also if you are worried about something speak to your partner.  even though she may be a female, she is not helpless and two heads are often better than one at solving a problem.  In addition, if she knows what is bothering you she is less likely to become emotionally distant having decided that you must be having an affair or are planning to leave her.

Life long partnerships take work on both sides but be careful what sources you use - just a small thought and relationship advice for men.

How A Rebound Relationship Can Work

Are you worried about your new partner and whether they are committed to you? Do you wonder how a rebound relationship can work particularly if there are unresolved feelings left from the previous affair?

Often rebound relationships can be a band aid solution for the pain and hurt inflicted by the previous lover. If the person getting involved in the new relationship was the one to end the old one, I would be less worried. Usually people have been thinking of ending a relationship for ages before the event actually happens. By the time they get to finish it, they may have worked through their feelings and be ready to move on.

This doesn't apply to the person who didn’t instigate the previous breakup and becomes quickly involved in a new relationship. Some people cannot bear to be on their own so will flit from person to person in an effort to avoid dealing with the issues leading to the breakup. They are used to being part of a couple. They have an inherent need for someone to love them and need them and hence they can become deeply emotionally involved very quickly. Ironically this is often the reason for the rebound relationship breaking up as the new partner feels swapped by the level of neediness.

It is worth noting that often someone on the rebound often isn't even aware of what they are doing. They are hurting emotionally and mentally and can crave comfort from another human being. This can mean that they end up in a relationship for the sake of having somebody to hold rather than to be with that person. Their new partner can get very hurt as the realisation sets in that they aren’t loved for their individuality as much as the fact they can provide a quick fix solution to a painful situation.

It is always wise to date people who have just come out of a relationship with care. Take things slowly and try to make sure that it is you they are interested in before becoming emotionally involved. Everyone needs time on their own particularly if they come out of a long term partnership.

It is a little like grieving - there is a process that you must go through in order to emerge a stronger person at the end of it.  For most people divorce and the breakup of a partnership means the end of a dream even if you were the one to instigate the break up. Everyone will have some feelings of regret if only for not having the fairytale ending.

If you do find yourself involved with someone who you suspect is on the rebound, gently advise them to spend some time on their own working through their emotions. Encourage them to date other people. Keep in contact with them if you are interested in a long term relationship. If you two are destined to be together, it will happen although maybe not right away. This is really the only way to ensure how a rebound relationship can work for you.

The Best Relationship Quotes I Know

I love reading relationship quotes and today I thought I would share a couple of my favorite ones with you. Where possible, proper credit has been given to the person who wrote or spoke the original quote. However in some cases that may not have been possible.

You know love funny quotes as I believe humor is a key ingredient in a great relationship. Some of the funny ones I like are:

"What can you say to a man who has just had sex?  Anything you like as he is asleep".

Or for those male readers - "what is the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?" "You can negotiate with a terrorist!"

Joking aside, this quote credited to Leo Buscaglia should be in all couple’s homes. 

“Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around”.

As most of us know it is the little things in a relationship that can cause it to fail or blossom. It is easy to blame the other person in our relationship for our dissatisfaction but as Martha Washington said “I have learned from experience that a greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”

Some relationship quotations are beautiful and sad at the same time.  Such as the one from William Somerset Maugham (an English Writer) on unrequited love being "The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned."

While I don't think Colin Powell was talking about relationships when he said "None of us can change our yesterdays, but we can all change our tomorrows", it is one that we could all do with remembering. Too often we waste time and energy holding grudges against our partners for something they did in the past. It is too late to change it now so let it go once and for all. So long as it isn't a pattern of repeated behavior it doesn't do anyone any good to remember it.

"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much " Helen Keller. This lady was my idol when I was growing up. Despite being born blind and mute she achieved so much more than the rest of us often do. I believe that being part of a couple and then a family gives us the chance to be so much more. We need to appreciate the gifts we have. Our relationships would be a lot happier if we said thank you and I love you just a little more often.

As Mother Theresa is quoted as saying "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in the world today than for bread".  Make sure your loved one knows how much you love and appreciate them today, to avoid a day when you wished you had listened to the relationship quotes.

Oct 12, 2009

Tips To Getting Your Ex Back

Getting your ex back dominates the thoughts of many a man and woman.  Perhaps you were the one to finish the relationship thinking that life was passing you by.  Having been in the nightmare that is the singles world, you have decided that your ex was fantastic and now you need to know how to get them back. Or maybe you were the one who was dumped but having had time to pull yourself together you are determined to teach your former partner the error of their ways.

Before you consider how to get your ex back in your life, you should be 100% sure that this is the outcome that you want.  You are going to spend a lot of time and energy achieving this wish but it will be a waste of everyone's time if you are doing it solely for revenge.  This applies to those people that have been dumped so start dreaming of revenge and how it will make them feel better.

One quote that I believe in is revenge is a dish best served cold.  What it means is that you have to let your emotions, primarily your anger, cool off before taking any action.  What I believe the quote is trying to achieve is that by the time you have cooled down, you will forget about your ex and be putting your energies into meeting someone new.

But for those of us who have decided that our ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend was the ONE, here are some tips to try to getting your ex back.

1) Do not appear needy.  Desperation is never an attractive quality.  You will be far more successful in attracting your ex mate if you appear to be living your life to the full.  Don't call or make contact with them. You will have sufficient mutual friends to be able to appear to be in the same location as your ex by accident.

2) Do not stalk your ex - again this is not the way forward. You want them to come back to you not have them report you to the police for stalking. 

3) Always look your best.  Wear their favorite clothes, hairstyle, makeup etc.  Remember all those little details that used to drive them wild and use them to your advantage.

4) Do not try and make your ex jealous by dating someone else.  This is juvenile behavior. There is never an excuse for using another person in this way.

5) Try being direct.  Men and women often have communication issues hence the best selling books such as "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" etc.  So sometimes the best way to getting your ex back is just to tell them how you feel.  Apart from a little pride, what do you have to lose?

If you are certain that getting your ex back in your life will make you happy, you need to pull out all the stops!

Oct 11, 2009

How To Win Back Lost Love

If you are determined to win back lost love, then go for it. You only have one life and it is up to you how you live it. If you are sure that this person is the right partner for you, go get him/her today.

Be strong and single-minded in your approach. Now you know what you want, it will be easier to ignore everyone Else's advice and well meaning contributions. If this person is your lost love, then trust your own judgment. You know them better than anyone else so you should be able to work out how best to get them to return to you.

Be sure of your motives in particular that you are not trying to rekindle lost love because you are afraid of being on your own. Being single can be fun, it just takes a little getting used to. It is hard to be objective when emotions are involved so it is always a good idea to write down a list of all the reasons why you want this person back. Also write down a list of why the relationship failed. Obviously you would expect the first list to be the long one! 

Sometimes people break up and it is the wrong decision. We can all take our lives for granted and as we get older we sometimes wonder if we have missed out. These feelings can cause people to do silly things like walking out on their relationship. If being apart has shown you the error of your ways, then make contact with them and ask to meet up.

If you hurt your ex, you must be prepared to take things very slowly and at their pace. They are unlikely to fall in your arms declaring undying love if you have hurt them badly. If they do, you must still proceed with caution as any lingering problems need to be resolved.

Be aware that no matter how much you miss the other person, there was a reason why you broke up and that needs to be dealt with to prevent it causing fresh problems. There are some things that just cannot be overcome no matter how much we love the other person. The idea that love conquers everything belongs in Hollywood not in real life. 

If, for example, you broke up because your partner wants children and you don't then it is unfair to get back together unless you have changed your mind.  Denying another person the chance of having children causes the type of pressure that very few if any relationships can survive.  The resentment will probably kill the love you shared. 

If you have issues that can be resolved with some mutual work, then go for it.  Life is too short to waste time in regrets. Sometimes it is not always the easy way forward to try to win back lost love but often it is the best step you could ever take.

"Q & A" Letters from Blog Readers: Advice on Love and Relationships

Question: He married another woman, but really loves me; How long do I wait? I have a strange relationship with a guy I met in 2015. He wa...