Friday, August 7, 2009
Things aren’t going well, but you don’t want divorce to end your relationship. What can you do? If you don’t want divorce there are three specific things you can do to stop it.
These tips won’t work in every situation—some relationships are too far gone. But most relationships start having troubles long before they reach this point, thankfully.
When you don’t want divorce but your partner does, try being quiet for a while. Just don’t say anything. Stop complaining. The worst thing you can do is to carry on about how you don’t want to get divorced.
You can let your partner know that you don’t want the divorce. And that’s about all you can do. Perhaps you could reassure them that couples go through this kind of thing all the time and are still together today... Just don’t do it more than once!
If you carry on and carry on about how you want to stay together, you’ll probably just annoy your partner, making it less likely for him to be open to the idea of staying together. The whole point is to make yourself extra desirable to your partner again.
It’s unlikely he or she finds you particularly desirable when you’re complaining and whining about inconsequential things. That tendency to complain and even nag may have had something to do with why the relationship broke up in the first place, remember.
You want to show your very best side to your partner at all times. When you started dating this person, you were probably on your own very best behavior. Everyone does that to win a mate’s heart. Then as things start to stagnate a little because the mate is won and there’s no need to compete with others anymore, the tendency to whine and complain begins.
Stop this immediately and go back to your very best courting behavior. I know that maybe a hard switch to make, from the way things were back in the beginning, that it seems almost too good to be true.
Going hand in hand with taking care not to complain or nag is learning to simply be agreeable. We tend to take our partner for granted and when he or she suggests something we’re not happy with, we make it known. If we do that too often it can start to seem to our partner that they can’t do or say anything right!
If you don’t want divorce then learn to agree with your partner even when you don’t want to. That might sound a little extreme, but you’re in rescue mode right now. You just want to do everything you can to save the marriage. It doesn’t’ mean that you’ll never be able to disagree with them for the rest of your life.
You need to learn to not whine, to agree and to do it all with a smile on your face. If you don’t want divorce you’ll have to do these things for at least a little while.
Relationship break ups can be both emotional and confusing in nature, and leaving you wanting to win your ex back.
Unfortunately, it may be difficult for you to say why everything that has happened has happened, and it may be even more difficult to figure out what you can do in order to win back your ex.
Your ex has probably given you a number of reasons why the relationship must end, regardless of whether or not you understand them.
The truth of the situation is that your ex is probably having trouble with his or her feelings too. The good news is that even if your ex seems to be singing the opposite tune, you may still stand a chance. There are clues that will help you determine whether or not there is anything that you can do to win back your ex once and for all.
If your ex is demonstrating any kind of emotion toward you, then you are likely still important to them. Many people who break up keep their partners close by as if they were some kind of an emergency back up, and this is a clue that you may stand a chance to win them back after all.
While this may not sound like the most romantic thing in the world, it does mean that you may stand a chance still if the timing is right!!!and that is worth something.
If your ex is keeping you around or acting like they want you to be in their life in any capacity at all, then this can be a good sign regardless of whether or not it seems like one.
Is your ex being indifferent toward you, or emotional? The opposite of love is not hate, but rather is indifference. So if your ex is showing any emotion toward you, love or hate, then everything that you try may not be as difficult as you may thought.
Think about this: Have you ever been angry at someone for a period of time longer than a day or two? Chances are, your anger existed because you truly cared for that person, not because you were indifferent to them. Understanding this concept is important when trying to win him or her back.
The way to eliminate the problems keeping the relationship from growing is to realize that all emotion for someone means caring, even if you are fighting or harboring anger for the other person.
You can learn how to make things work with your ex in order to rekindle the relationship, but you have to know what steps to take and what moves to make in order to make progress.
Let the grudges fade or fall to the wayside and you can learn to win your ex back once and for all. The process may not always seem easy, but it will definitely be worthwhile when you get them back.