Mar 14, 2009

I Lost Love – Every Relationship Has a Time Line




When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me. I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior High, that’s about four days. As we get older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry. Most of us will only have one great love in our lives. The other relationships will terminate. That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship. Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment. As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places. I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level. I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me. I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment. I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her. I still love her. But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong. I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things. Sure, I understood that I had hurt her. But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were. But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time to die. And, for me, this was it. That’s how I lost love.

Mar 12, 2009

How to Win Love Back With Common Sense

How to win love back is a topic that I want to talk about today. Too many people do this all wrong. They think that they must aggressively pursue their ex in order to get him or her back. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. If you want to know how to win love back, follow the advice in this article as closely as possible.

The first thing you need to know in the how to win love back arena is that you do not want to chase your ex.

Too many guys think they must pursue their ex’s. They send hundreds of texts, call at odd hours of the day, and even stalk their ex girlfriend’s home. They send flowers and gifts.

This is wrong, wrong, wrong because it makes you look desperate. Women like Alpha males, not sniveling guys they think are jokes. When you appear desperate, your ex girlfriend will start playing head games with you. She’ll let you come over, and then invite a new guy over too. She’ll pretend she’s interested only to go off in another direction.

And, the more you fall into this trap, the more games she’ll play. This is not the answer to how to win love back.

Instead of chasing her and being desperate, you need to play games with her that make her come crawling to you.

When you are in a group that includes her, flirt with every girl but her. If she has an enemy in the group, pay special attention to that girl. By ignoring your ex, you make her want to come back to you. You are reminding her of all of your charms, but not applying them to her.

It’s a good idea to go out on a date with one of her close friends. Send your ex a text message saying “now that we’re just friends, I wanted your opinion on something. Where should I take Mary to dinner after the big game?” That is sure to make your ex girlfriend jealous and it’s one of the tricks for how to win love back.

Even if you don’t want to play head games with your ex, there is one thing that you can do that may help you in the how to win love back arena. That is, you should be happy.

Girls like to date happy guys. If you work on you rather than focus on her, you have a much better chance getting her back.

Go work out at the gym. Hang with your buddies. Get involved in a hobby you never had time for when you were dating her. Go out on dates. Even if you have to fake being happy initially, you will soon realize that you really are happy.

This way, whether you get the girl back or you move on, you will be a happier person.

And, that is my advice for how to win love back.

How Get Your Ex Back What To Do When Shes Dumped You

How get your ex back? This is the lament of every guy who has ever been dumped. Did you know that in three quarters of break ups, it is the girl who calls the whole thing off? Guys generally want to stay together with their girlfriends. This article is about how to get ex back.

First of all, you have to determine whether she did you a favor by dumping you. Too often, guys stick with girls out of inertia. It is easier to stay in an okay relationship than go out and look for a really good one. If you don’t feel that the girl who dumped you was your soul mate, consider that her calling things off might be a blessing in disguise.

If this is not the case and you still want get your ex back, read on.

The next step is to determine whether she loves you. Girls can be fickle. They are much more likely to act impulsively and then have regrets about what they did. If you think she still loves you, you have a good chance at ho get your ex back.

In this case, you have to make her come to you. Many guys call their ex’s numerous times, send hundreds of texts, and exhibit other such stalkerish behavior. This just pushes their girlfriends away.

Instead, seem like you are accepting of the break up. Move on. Date other girls – especially girls in her circle. By making her come back to you instead of the other way around, you will go about how get your ex back.

During this time, you should analyze whether you have changed from the many she first fell in love with. Often, guys try to impress girls up front. But, once they have slipped into a comfortable relationship with their girlfriend, they slag off. For instance, are you still working out as often as you did? Toward the end, were you still opening her car door, buying her flowers, and generally romancing her the way you did at the beginning of the relationship? These things can make a big difference in how get your ex back.

When you do see your ex girlfriend, subtly remind her of your common bonds. If you are going to go to a party where you know she’s going to be, wear a shirt she gave you. If she has a favorite cologne, wear it. And, when you talk, bring up the positive things in your past. Don’t beat her over the head with them, but make her nostalgic about your common history.

Invite her to non-committal type of events. If a group of friends are going to the beach, ask her to come along. Begin seeing her in social settings once again. When she comes along, pay some attention to her, but spend your time with your friends and other girls too. When she sees that you are an attractive catch, you’ve already won half the battle of how get your ex back.

So, that is how get your ex back.

Breaking Up Relationship - How to Save It! Enter Here

How to Get Over Guy – The Steps for Moving On

Are you having trouble get over guy? Whether he dumped you or you broke up with him, letting go of someone who you had a close relationship is very difficult. There is a space in your heart as well as a space in your life that are not quickly filled with anything or anyone else. Yet, people do get over a relationship. Here are five steps to get over guy you still like.

First, you need to let out the hurt. Know that it is okay to cry when you are trying to get over guy. Some people keep a journal of their experiences because writing about the pain helps.

One thing that I have seen some people do that is very effective is to write a long letter about the relationship to their ex boyfriend. Talk about the good times and bad. Talk about the relationship and how he hurt you. Let it all out. When you have finished the letter, burn it. That’s right. Don’t even think about sending it to your ex. Instead, let flames consume the letter. That provides excellent closure to the relationship.

Next, you have to decide that the relationship is really over. If you hold on to the thought that he will change and come back to you, you will never get over guy and move on.

Do something that symbolizes the finality of the end of the relationship. A good example of this is to exchange all of the personal property that you have of the other’s. Don’t even keep the oversized t-shirt of his that is so comfortable for sleeping in. And, if there are things to minor to exchange (like a toothbrush), throw them away. Clear your place of all of his things. It is a way of clearing him from your life.

You need to depend on your friends through this time. Until you meet your husband, guys will come and go, but your girlfriends are forever. If you have been in a hot and heavy relationship, you may have inadvertently ignored your friends for a time. Not only will your girls help you get over guy, but reconnecting will be good for your social life.

Also, your girlfriends will have had similar experiences to your break up. Sharing their pain will help you understand that, however bad the hurt you are experiencing, others have survived and you will too.

You will probably have extra time on your hands now that you have broken up. You used to spend a lot of time with your ex. Use this time productively to get over guy. Go to the gym and get your body in shape. Take up a new hobby.

One of the best things you can do during this period is to join a group or a class. Not only does a class take up the time you would have spent with your ex, but it also introduces you to a new circle of friends.

And, that brings me to my last point, when you want to get over guy, the best thing you can do is move on. Between your old friends, the new friends you make in your class or hobby, and the activities you do to fill up your time, you will emerge as a new person.

Moving on is the best way to get over guy.

Breaking Up Relationship - How to Save It! Enter Here

Get Guy Back – A Gals Guide to Making Up

How do you get guy back? How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special? This is your “get guy back” gal’s guide to making up.

First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.

Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.

If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.

Be prepared to chase him a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back. You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.

You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.

Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Get guy back may stop you from meeting him!

Tips and Techniques to Get Ex Boyfriend Back

Do you want to get ex boyfriend back? Are you reeling from his desire to call the relationship quits? Do you have an empty place in your heart – and in your life – where he used to be? Here are some tips and techniques to get ex boyfriend back.

First of all, whatever you do, don’t chase him. This means lay off the texts, the phone calls, and the stalking. Don’t just show up where he happens to be. This stalking behavior will just turn him off. He’s got to want to come back to you, not the other way around. That’s the only way to get ex boyfriend back.

Instead of pursuing him, start to work on you. In order to get ex boyfriend back, you need to become a more positive person. You probably have many negative emotions right now including loss and hurt. You need to purge these feelings and get back on a positive note.

One way to do this is to write a long letter to your boyfriend talking about all of the good times you had, all of the hurts you experienced, and all of the things you wished you had told him. Once you have poured your heart out on paper, burn the letter. That’s right. Whatever you do, DON’T SEND THE LETTER. Instead, light a match and watch the flame consume the paper. This will give you some closure to that portion of the relationship.

After you have burned the letter, eliminate all negativity from your life. Don’t let your girlfriends talk badly about your ex. And, to the extent possible, be positive about your whole life.

When you do think about the relationship, remember what made it strong. Think about the good times you had. If you do occasionally talk to your ex, bring up the positive experiences and avoid fighting about the issues that ended it. If you want to get ex boyfriend back, you have to remind him what was good about the relationship.

To this end, focus your energy working on your strengths. For instance, if your boyfriend always praised you on being a good cook, take a gourmet cooking class. Get even better at the things you are good at.

But don’t neglect your weaknesses either. If your ex complained about how you were a slob, start picking things around the house. Make an effort to become a better person if you want to get ex boyfriend back.

Finally, you should be available – to him and others. If someone asks you out on a date, accept it. You don’t have to be head over heals in love with a guy to go out to dinner with him.

As your ex sees you as a desirable catch, he’s going to want to get back into your life. By focusing on the positive and working on your strengths and weaknesses, you are sure to get ex boyfriend back.

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