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Is Writing Letters To Get Your Ex Back Really A Good Idea?


Here is a question that people have all the time.  Is writing letters to get your ex back really a good idea?  There are many people that write letters, text messages, e-mails and just about every other form of text-based correspondence that you can think of on a daily basis.  Many of these people will resort to that form of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them again.

In order to truly comment on how effective this method is, we need to examine both the good points and the bad points about it.  The good to writing letters is that they will allow you to express feelings that you might not otherwise be able to express.  There are plenty of people that can say more in text than they’d ever be able to say verbally.  So if letters are helping you with the communication process, they can definitely be a good thing.

On the other hand, letters are also quite impersonal.  People that are broken up with over the phone, over an instant messaging program, through mail or even by text-message are people that tend to really hold grudges.  The most honest way to break up with someone is in person, although many people just don’t have the gumption to do it this way.  Just as this is true with breakups, so too is it true with everything else related to relationships.  If you want to get your ex back, the letter might not be the best way to communicate that information.

This is actually even more evident if you go back and look at the previous good point about writing letters.  Even though they can help you communicate things that you find hard to communicate verbally, your ex probably already knows that.  Therefore, learning to communicate those things verbally shows that you can change for the better for your ex and that is something that is more likely to make them come back to you than a written letter.

Generally speaking though, all of this might be a bit of an academic debate.  The reason for that is that many times the direct approach is not the best one when it comes to getting your ex back.  Writing letters to get your ex back by definition involves the direct approach.  If your goal with the letter is to start up the relationship again, you can do nothing but take the direct approach.  The closer to the breakup you write the letter, the less likelihood there is of the direct approach being able to work.

Most people would advise that you go with the indirect approach.  Let your relationship with your ex grow back into friendship after the breakup and then take the opportunity to reignite the relationship when it comes along.  That is far more indirect than direct in nature and naturally does not involve the writing of any letters.  This means that at best, there is debate going back and forth about how beneficial letter writing actually is.

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