Are you in the process of surviving a break up? It may seem like there is no hope. But, really there is.
First of all, you have to decide whether the relationship is really over or whether it’s just a temporary situation. Some people find that their coupledom becomes even stronger after a hiatus.
But other times, you know that it is over and you need to go about mourning the relationship. Your ex was probably the person who you were closest to in the whole world. Now, you need to find people and activities to replace him or her.
Sometimes you can turn to friends and family members to discuss the situation. If they are sympathetic and allow you to do the talking that you need to do, this is an optimal situation.
Unfortunately, most people are consumed with their own situations. They have little patience for dealing with other people’s problems and concerns. While they may listen for the first couple of days, their basic tenet will be “get over it.”
If this is the case, you may want to consider going to a counselor. A therapist will help you work through the issues that caused your relationship to dissolve. Many people have found that a counselor is the best person to help you in surviving a break up.
At some point, you have to start to move on. One of the best ways to do this is to exchange all of the personal items you have with your ex. Most of the time, this means clothes, but there are other items which you keep at each other’s homes.
If there are things like toothbrushes that don’t merit an exchange, throw them away. If you have personal gifts that you don’t want to give back, box them up and put them away for the time being. You don’t want to have anything that reminds you of your ex lying around the house for the time being.
Then, start focusing on how you can improve yourself. Because you were part of a couple for so long, you referenced yourself as “we.” Now, it is all about “me.” And, that’s not a bad place to be in.
You can now do the things you want. She didn’t like gambling? You can now go to the guys’ poker night. He didn’t like chick flicks? Rent all the movies you missed.
And, start doing a self improvement campaign. Go work out. Take some classes. Join a hiking group.
Start to meet new people, particularly people who can be friends not lovers. These people will provide a valuable network for you now and in the future.
Finally, at some point, you have to put yourself back on the market again. Go to single’s events or check out online dating sites. When you find someone new who you really like, you know you will be finally over your ex.
And that’s how to go about surviving a break up.