A secret relationship could seem exciting at first, but it can also become a burden to keep the secret. There are legitimate reasons for not telling anyone about a relationship. At some point, the burden of secrecy will probably start to strain the relationship and you’ll have to decide whether not keep it a secret relationship.
One of the main reasons for having a relationship with someone secretly is because you worry what other people will think. Maybe your parents or friends would not approve of this person. You should really stop and consider why they wouldn’t approve before having a secret relationship.
Your family and friends really just want what’s best for you in most cases. Now and then there are situations where they just want to impose their will on you. But for the most part, they’re looking out for you.
Do they feel the person will hurt you, or doesn’t treat you right? Has that person given them reason to think the relationship might not be a good one? If they disapprove on those grounds, you can hardly blame them. In fact, keeping the relationship a secret hints that you might not disagree completely.
It could be that you just don’t want to hear their protests. But it also could be that you know they’re not entirely wrong. Otherwise, why not have the relationship out in the open and show them how wrong they are?
If they disapprove of the relationship for reasons that are petty or clearly based on their own issues, then you should ask yourself why you’re having a secret relationship at all. Things like thinking that your partner doesn’t have enough money or class, for instance, would be no reason to hide the relationship.
You may, out of a desire to not have to hear their complaints. But for such a narrow minded reason, you shouldn’t worry about keeping their minds at ease. If they don’t like your partner’s race or even sex, it can be simpler to keep the relationship a secret. But you shouldn’t have to unless you really want to.
Why not show them that you’re your own person and you’re proud of how you feel? By having your relationship out in the open, you’re being more true to yourself and your partner. And maybe you’ll even change their minds about what being a relationship means.
You might even be surprised to find some friends or family members don’t feel the same as the rest. Often, if a family or group of friends is against something, like an interracial relationship, you perceive each person as feeling that way.
But it could be there are a few who didn’t want to speak up and be different. Don’t be too hard on them for not standing up for you and what they believe in. They probably felt outnumbered and didn’t want to hear the arguments. And you’re in a secret relationship, after all, because you didn’t want to have to hear the protests either.